No one can ever know
by TheCloakedShadow
Summary: Azzy Zamora has a secret power, that even she doesn't know the limits of. Her mother is murdered and she is sent to her Godfather Albus Dumbledore for protection. He decides the best way to keep her safe is for her to start attending Hogwarts in her fifth year. But what will happen when she meets the Marauders, and falls for someone she knows could never love her the way she does?
1. Chapter 1

**Life. Death.  
Life. Death. Is there really much difference? I hope there is. I hope in death, no one's feelings can get hurt. I hope I forget. I hope they forgive. I know though, I know I'll never make those same mistakes again. There's a saying… Mistakes are made to be learnt from. It's true, but even if you learn from them, it doesn't change the damage they cause. The damage can't be undone. The damage I've caused. The damage that will cause my murder. All I know is that I will never set foot here again.**

**My mother was never afraid of death, and neither am I. It's just another step in the cycle. In movies, there's always those speeches, those last words heroes mutter as they fall into darkness. This is no movie, and I am definitely no hero. But I do have some words. Three words, counting the apostrophe. And I say them to the marauders.  
"I'm sorry."**

**Chapter 1: Start a new  
Azalea Zamora, a fifteen year-old girl lived with her mother in the middle of nowhere 1968. Many would call her beautiful, with waist length black hair paired with a long jaw-length fringe over one eye, ocean coloured eyes and cherry lips. Her pale skin complimented each of these features, and her nose shaped perfectly. She was also tall, slim and athletic, but she wasn't very girly, her personality was more like a boy. She lived away from the world, not to come into contact with anyone. You see, she was special, just like her mother. She was a witch. There are many witches and wizards in the world, but she was still special out of them all. She was a seer. Evil forces are forever trying to get hold of this power, which was why her mother hid her away. But this came at a disadvantage. Though she was safe, she didn't have a life. It was always, practice your magic, inside and out of sight. This is her story.**

**"Azzy, my baby, go to the cupboard, get inside, and don't utter a single word to anyone. Don't be scared. You don't need to be." My mother tells me. I immediately see the worry in my mother's pretty face, and do as I'm told. I sit inside the cupboard for a few minutes, anxiously waiting. I know this was no ordinary situation. In all fifteen years of my life, I have never seen my mother look… scared. I wait in complete silence, making sure I'm not breathing loudly or anything. And then I hear it. The high pitched scream, a thud on the floor and then I feel myself disappear into nothing.**

**I open my eyes to see myself in a completely new place. It looks like… well… an extraordinary office. I haven't been anywhere but my home for all my life, but I still know this is extraordinary. There's an antique wooden varnished desk, with an old-fashioned lamp on it, and many odd shaped ornaments and charms from around the world. The rest of the room is like a library, full of different coloured books on many different subjects. Also, in a bird cage, sits a beautiful bird with brightly coloured feathers. I know from seeing one before, it was a phoenix.**

**"Oh my. Who may you be?" I just realise there is a man with dark black hair turning grey, standing in the corner of the room.  
"Um..." Words fail me as I try to comprehend what had just happened. "Azalea Zamora." I say shakily. The man let out a sad sigh, then walked to sit behind his desk.  
"I hoped this day would never come. My dear, I am Albus Dumbledore, transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry." He says kindly.  
"Do you know my mother? Where is she?" I ask worried, though I already know the answer. I always knew this was going to happen. But it still felt like I'd been run down by a hippogriff.  
"Yes, and I'm afraid… she was just killed. In which an old enchantment kicked into place and sent you here. I am now your guardian. Your mother, Clare Zamora as you know was a seer. Many people desire the power to see into the future."**

**"I can... I mean I can see the future. Will they come for me to?" I ask my face contorting even more into fear.  
"Maybe... But not for a long time. Azalea, you need to know, no one except me has known of your existence. Your mother died today to make sure you were safe. Do you understand that?"  
"…Yes. I've been prepared for it all my life, though I didn't know it would happen so soon." I say shakily. In reality… I'm lying through my teeth. "My mum told me I was to carry on with my life if this happened… what can I do?"  
"Ah, well, being a hogwarts professor myself, I can ensure you that life here, until you graduate of course." Albus Dumbledore tells me, and I blink rapidly at his kindness. He would offer me a place here just like that? I've heard of Hogwarts, I never thought I'd ever go here… "I might as well start from the beginning…"**

**"Welcome to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. You are a witch! Here you will learn to develop your skills, but also control them. Hogwarts, is a boarding school. You will sleep in a dormitory with girls your own age in your house. Your house is your family in Hogwarts, you must care for every member of it, unconditionally. There are four houses, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffindor. You my child, have grown up away from everything, which I have to say may have not been for the best. However, you will not be boarding here, you will live here, in the castle with me. This castle is your home. You will have a suite of your own with some living quarters as well."**

**"My dear, life here will be very hard adjusting to, do you think you're ready?" Dumbledore asks kindly.  
"Yes, I think so." I say, a little overpowered, but confident, knowing my mother wouldn't have shown it.  
"You will be studying Charms, Transfiguration, Defence against the dark arts, Potions, Herbology and some other subjects of which you chose." Dumbledore says. "For you, I suggest the ones your mother did, Care of magical creatures, Ancient runes and astronomy. I will go with you to London to get your school supplies."  
"Do you think I'll ever go back?" I ask suddenly, my mind on other things. Dumbledore pauses before saying:  
"No, I'm afraid not." I nod and look up. "Do I tell other people about me?"  
"Not about being a seer. That would make your life most dangerous." Dumbledore says concerned. I finish with a nod.**

**I'm trying to stay calm now, but I'm not sure how to think. My mind's a mess of panic and worry, all swallowed up with grief. To think that I won't just be stepping into a world I have no knowledge about, but more importantly, the people. Albus Dumbledore was the third person I've ever met. The first was my mother, the second was a boy at the age of 4. I bumped into him when he had snuck into the forest around my mother's hut, and we became friends, just. But that boy wasn't normal. And I have to find a way to feel… at home.**

**In London, which I found very interesting as my curiosity spiked, Albus bought me all my new school books from a shop called Flourish and Blots. We went to what I thought to be a very odd shop called Madam Malkins and he bought me black school robes and a school cloak with a silver fastening. After we got me school equipment, and then went to Ollivander's to get me a wand. I liked Mr Ollivander very much, and was very pleased when he handed me a 10 inch maple wood wand, with a phoenix tail feather. I had a wand back home, but it's on the kitchen table, never to be used again, lost in the woods. Despite this I managed to walk out feeling quite bright and cheerful.**

**"That's all your school supplies done! I believe you need to get new clothes and some soap and a hairbrush of such. I will wait in the leaky cauldron for you, be sure not to wander too far!" Albus tells me, his eyes twinkling as wizards around us recognised his face in wonder. I smile as we part and try to keep my bearings as walk through the busy crowds. I first go to some simple clothes shop in which I buy some slim jeans in various dark colours such as black grey and blue, and I also buy a dark blue sweater, an oversized cream sweater and a simple white t-shirt. I get a few more clothes and pick up some plain white socks and some underwear. I find a shoe shop where I buy some ballet flats, some trainers, and two pairs of boots.**

**At a drug store I wander into down the lane I get soap, a hair brush, some body spray, a moisturiser, a bit of make-up and some refresh spray. I'm quite a basic girl at the age of fifteen, but then, I haven't really been to a shop, or had a need for make-up till now. After, I bought a nice warm black leather motorcycle jacket and a navy trench coat.**

**"I'm done!" I say, tumbling into the leaky cauldron and spotting Albus chatting to the barman.  
"It is good to see you are back safely.I trust you have everything you might need?" He says looking down at me.  
"Yes. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me, considering you hadn't met me before." I say gratefully, looking down at my shoes, even though I've gotten to know the fascinating man rather well.  
"Well, as your technical Godfather, it is my duty. Plus, I never got my way in life, and have had no children of my own." Albus replies happily. "Remember to refer to me as Albus."**

**I got into Gryffindor, and though I have already started to feel happy, considering the grief hovering at the back of my head. I'm trying to do as she always told me but... No I must do this. I am not looking forward to meeting new people. I am walking along a corridor on the way to what I hope is the Gryffindor common room, as the castle was so big I have already managed to get lost twice.  
"What do we have here? A newbie?" I turn around as I hear the sneering voice. I see a greasy black haired boy, I guess my age, with a taller and older white blonde boy with smouldering grey eyes.  
"Um…" I don't know what to say.  
"Don't like to speak huh?" The blonde boy says meanly. "Maybe we can loosen her tongue…" he adds with a wicked smile. He draws his wand along with the black haired boy. My eyes flash with fear and…**

**"Expelliarmus!" I hear two boys voices shout in chorus and the black haired boy and the blonde one's wands fly out their hands and hit the wall.  
"Scram Malfoy, Snivellus!" says one of my saviours. The boys run with just as much fear as they had inflicted on me.  
"Are you all right?" The two boys are my age, one with scruffy dark brown hair, round glasses and pale skin, the other with jaw length shiny black hair and blue eyes. I nod, still finding myself at a loss for words.  
"Its okay, those guys are just really mean. Who are you? Do you go to school here?" The brown haired one says reassuringly enough to coax me into speaking.**

**"Azalea. And yes I do. I was making my way to the Gryffindor tower."  
"Funny James, I don't remember ever seeing her, and she looks our age." The black haired one says to the other.  
"Neither Sirius."  
"I only just joined. Albus Dumbledore's my Godfather. I came here to live with him." I say, still a little self-conscious of my words. It's easier if no one knows.**

**"We'll take you to Gryffindor tower, you can explain later after you've unpacked." The one called Sirius says, picking up half of my bags, James taking the other half. Through my protest that I could carry at least some bags, they take me to Gryffindor tower, mutter the password and take me inside.**

**As I see it I feel like I am going to faint. The common room is filled with girls and boys of all ages, all of who have paused in their conversations to look round at the door. I start breathing heavily, and look to James and Sirius, who had dumped my bags at a spiral stairwell.  
"Thanks." I mutter as fast as I could and hurry up the stairs with my bags and into the first room up the stairs.**

**Once inside, I take a deep breath. Then, after a minute of relief, I start to look around my room. There is a four poster bed with navy sheets and net curtains. In the corner there is a large but simple wooden desk and in the corner a bookshelf. Then there is a set of drawers and a smaller hanging space. On my bed lies some school uniform with scarlet piping to symbolise Gryffindor. It's a nice big room, nice and spacious. I also find my bathroom was very nice. It has a shower, a toilet and a sink, all nice and shiny. I unpack all my stuff, putting my school supplies under my bed. Once done, I decide to wait a bit till I leave, so decide to read Hogwarts a history.**

**"Come on Azzy, you're going to have to do it sometime." I say to myself, twisting the door handle. I never thought it would be easy, I mean, I've known my mother since birth and she was my only true friend, and I have no idea what the people here will be like. When I spoke with my mother my personality was relaxed and sarcastic, but I'm not so sure of myself now. It feels like there's an empty space to fill. Slowly I open the door and immediately hear the chatter from the common room. I take a deep breath and slowly walk down the stairs. Even as I get to the common room, I have my eyes on the floor. I slowly look up to see luckily most students haven't paused their conversations, and most barely notice me. I look around the room, a bit stuck. Is it too late for me to turn round and run for my room?**

**"Hey! Azalea, over here!" I hear a slightly familiar voice and see the two boys from earlier lounging on the sofa in front of the fire. I slowly make my way to them and Sirius sits up so I can sit next to him.  
"So, why are you joining now again? You're fourteen right?" James asks, Sirius ushering the rest of the room to go back to their knitting.  
"I was home schooled by my mum up till now, as I said I moved here to be with my Godfather Albus. And I just turned fifteen last week." I say nervously.  
"Remus! Over here, come meet the new girl!" Sirius shouts to a scruffy looking boy. The boy comes up, blushing slightly.  
"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin, you are?" The boy says kindly.  
"Azalea Zamora. I just started school here." I say, shaking his hand.  
"Yeah, James filled me in."  
"Oh yeah, I'm James Potter, and this is Sirius Black." James says. Smiling, I shake James' hand but when it comes to Sirius he takes my hand and plants a kiss on it his eyes twinkling with mischief.**

**"So, Azalea Zamora… a bit of a mouthful… would anything else do?" Sirius ask, casually putting his arm round me.  
"Azzy. Who were those boys earlier?" I breath.  
"Lucius Malfoy and darling Severus Snape!" Sirius jokes. "I would stand clear of them." I nod.  
"I kind of assumed so..."  
"So, are you any good at magic?" Remus asks.  
"I don't know. Sirius and James were actually the fourth people I've ever met, not including Snape and Malfoy." They all gape at me, raising eyebrows at least, but not so much Sirius.  
"When you say you were home-schooled… you really meant it didn't you." James says. I shrug.**

**"I guess we really were your saviours…" Sirius says, cocky.  
"Um, I think I could've handled myself once I'd found my voice…" I answer back, a bit annoyed at being told I needed a saviour.  
"Oh really, hit me with something!" Sirius says. I got my wand out and hit him with a pleasure spell. He immediately relaxes and start to close his eyes.  
"You know a pleasure spell? That's really advanced!" Remus murmurs.  
"It is?" I say scratching my head" what have you been learning?"  
"Aquamenti and some other element charms." Remus tells me. I hear loud laughter and I hear Some... Third years? Fourth year? Boys chatting and practicing hexes on the walls.**

**"Have you done element charms? I mean pleasure spells are difficult, especially compared to elements, but I've always struggled with aguamenti-"  
As the boys in the corner shoot a bat bogey hex at a girl coming down the stairs i glare and with an easy flick of my wand-  
"Aguamenti." I mutter the charm easily and water sprays strongly onto the boys, their backs turned. I slip my wand away as they turn around.  
"WHO WAS THAT?!" the blond hoy who got the main blast says as he begins to turn around to face us. "WHO THE HELL-" I expect to have to act innocent but his face falls as he sets eyes on us. I look around and Remus has a hard look in his eyes, James has a small smirk with a hard glare radiating from his eyes, and Sirius has a smirk reaching the sky, his look challenging.**

**The boy stutters and I'm puzzled.  
"I... I'm sorry... Sorry Potter, sorry Black... Sorry Lupin..."  
"You better be." James says before flinging his hand away, almost as if he was allowing the boys to look away. As James and Sirius look back to us, Sirius says:  
"Better watch this one, she stings!"**

**I talk with the three boys who call themselves the Marauders till dinner time. As they went off, I went and changed into a sweater and some trousers and went to the great hall, feeling slightly more at home. As I walk in I realise they all wore jeans with t-shirts. I also realise they are all incredibly handsome, even Remus with the scar down his face.**

**"Do you mind if I join you?" I ask softly. James nods, in the middle of a mouthful, Remus starts to say what I think to be of course, but gets interrupted when Sirius leaps to his feet with speed that makes me flinch. I force myself not to jump as I raise my eyebrows surprised. He looks me up and down, grins wickedly and makes space for me to sit down. The grin, I realise, has definitely broken more than a few hearts.**

**"Thank you, you probably guessed I'm not good with people." I say, truly thankful.  
"Ahh, look at Evans, she's so beautiful…" James murmurs. Remus and Sirius snigger while I turn to see who he is staring at. A girl surrounded by other girls with long red hair is eating neatly with her knife and fork. I look back to James who before had been chomping down his food messily.  
"You, fancy her? She's so… civilised." I say, sniggering too at the match.  
"Exactly." Sirius says in my ear. "He's had eyes for her since second year."  
"You've gotta be kidding... You've got it bad if it's been that long..." I say, scoffing, starting to eat.**

**After dinner I walk back to the common room with the three boys and lounge on the same sofa.  
"I like this girl. She's not…well, girly." Sirius says.  
"I agree, she's more, I don't know how to put it… like us! And that aguamenti was on point!" James adds.  
"Definitely, the other girls always get so… worked up! She ticks all the boxes." Remus says, completing the trio.  
"UM… I'm right here!" I say loudly. "But thanks anyway, I try." I say, smirking.  
"You're welcome." Remus says, obviously the most sensible.  
"I think we should consider making her a marauder…" Sirius starts to say, mischievously.  
"Haha, nice, you only met me today, and you want me to be in your group, a bit risky? Especially since all I've seen today is people hailing you like royalty, are you guys pretty much famous?" I say sarcastically.  
"Well, yes. You wouldn't believe how many people have tried to join us." James says.  
"But it's not the effort!" Remus says.  
"It's the likeability!" Sirius finishes. I laugh.**

**"Well, I have to consider it too… I mean you guys are pretty lame compared to my old friends..." trailing of and standing up with a smirk, knowing very well they know who my old friends were. "I better get some sleep. ****Tomorrow's**** the first day of school." I say uneasily.  
"You'll never get to sleep at this time, the girls in your dormitory will be chatting all night!" James says.  
"I don't sleep in their dormitory." I say  
"Where do you sleep then?" Sirius asks confused.  
"Well, because I physically live here I have my own room and working space. I get the peace and quiet." I say happily, realising what good it would do me.  
"No fair!" Remus says.  
"It would be a great place to plan our next prank!" James says excited.  
"Yeah sure, please can we aim it at those two idiots I made acquaintance to this morning!" I beg, walking to the stairs backwards. "It's first on the right."**

**That wasn't so bad. The Marauders… they really are nice. Relaxed... I never thought I could let loose a little so quickly. Spraying water over someone I don't know surprised myself. I wonder why Sirius keeps on doing odd gestures. From the rumours I can just see, it's obvious he's the… the guy who gets the girls. He's cute I suppose. James seems to have his heart set on Lily, and Remus is well… Remus. There's something odd about him though, he looks so shabby. Not his clothes, his face. He looks so tired. I wonder what's up. I'm sure they aren't all what they completely seem. I mean three boys like that, nothing's ever as it seems. But maybe that's just the books I've read, I guess I can't really say. Ah, It's going to be the full moon in three days. I love watching the full moon. I love watching the night.**

**Please Review! Constructive critism is always welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes fly open at 6 oclock. I slide out of bed and go straight into the bathroom. I use my refresh spray to wake me up, then moisturise and brush my hair. I quickly put my hair into a five-strand side plait leaving my fringe free. Then I change into my new school uniform and dig my timetable out. Today, I have Potions, Charms, Care of Magical creatures and Ancient Runes. As there's still half an hour till most people get up, I resume reading through my Beautiful Beasts book.

At exactly seven thirty, I put my book back into the bookcase and head into the common room. A few people are in there, most of them asleep. The one I recognise is Remus.

"Hey! I guessed the other two wouldn't be up yet." I say, walking up to him. "Wow, you look really tired, what exactly did you stay up talking about last night!" I add, taking in the heavy bags under his eyes.

"You." Remus says shortly.

"Damn it." I say.

"What subjects do you guys take? I have COMC, Ancient Runes and Astronomy ." I say, hoping I wouldn't have a class without at least one of them.

"Oh, We all take COMC, I take Ancient runes and the Sirius takes Astronomy. Looks like you're in luck!" Remus says, catching the hope in my voice. I give him a guilty smile.

"Those idiots still aren't up yet. Thomas and Dan from our dorm are already out, they're the only two left. Idiots." Remus says , looking at his watch as people start to leave.

"Maybe… your dorm's second down right?" I wickedly, already walking towards the stairs.

"Well, at least they'll be pleased you've broken your first rule!" Remus says, knowing he won't stop me. I smile and rush down the stairs and kick their door open.

"Come on idiots! Remus is waiting!" I say seeing James fully dressed but his head in a book, and Sirius pulling his jumper over his head.

"Coming…" Sirius says, dragging himself towards me.

"Yay! First rule broken!" James says sleepily. As he stands up I can't help notice the book he was reading. Animagi atlas.

I'm at the breakfast table with them, happily eating my toast. I drop into the conversation often, but my mind's on the book James was reading. I've read that book. And I know the people who read it are interested in becoming Animagi. I have to wonder, why?

"I'm going to have to go home the three days from now, my grandma's seriously ill." Remus says seriously.

"Aw, poor her. Send her my best wishes." I say, patting him on the back. There's something about his smile that makes me suspicious.

"James, why were you reading that book?"

"What book?" James says sleepily. However I feel Remus freeze. I lean over the table to make sure no one hears.

"Animagi Atlas." I say. James nods endlessly, as if figuring out what to say.

"Yep, picked it up for some info. Apparently there's a witch called Minerva McGonagall who's trying it out."

"James. I've read that book. I know why people read it. I'm not an idiot." I say, still whispering to him and Sirius.

"Why were you reading it?" Sirius asks, trying to catch me out.

"Because my mum was an Animagus." I say simply, catching him out. He tries to shrug, but I see through it.

"You're going to have to tell me sometime…" I stand up, grab my bag and head to potions, grabbing Remus by the arm with me.

"I don't know anything." Remus immediately says as we exit the hall.

"Yes you do. Look, we just met yesterday. I'm not going to try and uncover all the secrets you guys share. But dangerous ones, I will. I won't go digging, I'll just keep my eye on the ground in case there's gold." I say, making him steer me the right way to the dungeons, me still not knowing the way.

"What does that mean?" He asks.

"Are you serious? You haven't heard the saying? It means I won't pressure you to tell me anything, but if I notice something that may make any of you in danger, I'll do something about it." He nods, his face set in stone.

"Oh, Hi, you're Azalea Zamora, the new girl!" I turn round in my seat in the common room to see Lily Evans, of all people, coming to talk to me.

"Yeah. Hi." I say shortly, not really wanting to talk to her.

"I hear you're hanging out with Potter and his friends. I'd stay clear of them." She says.

"Why? They're really nice." I say, already getting annoyed at her for insulting my only friends.

"Well, Sirius, he's a total man-whore. He's dated every girl who isn't in Slytherin pretty much. But you probably fancy Potter. He's no use at all." She says, going through her list. Obviously, my temper rising I interrupt.

"I think I can choose my own friends thanks… though I'm not. It's not your job to judge people for me." I say. She looks a bit surprised, then walks away.

I'm sitting next to Remus in Potions. It turns out I'm one of the top for Potions. Along with Remus, Lily Evans and to my horror, Severus Snape.

"So Miss Zamora, it seems you have a spin on Potions!" Professor Slughorn says excitedly. "Maybe if you found you had time you could come along and join the Slug culb!" I look first to Remus, who has his face in his book, then to James and Sirius. They are frantically shaking their heads and mouthing "No!" at me. Plus the sniggering.

"I'm really sorry professor, but at the moment I'm trying to focus on making sure I'm up to scratch on the rest of the subjects." I say sympathetically.

"That's all right then." He says, slightly bothered.

"Nice Lie Az. You do not want to be joining the slug club." Sirius says, still chuckling slightly as we go out.

"What is the slug club?" I ask confused.

"It's a club professor slughorn made up. It's all for fine dining and famous relatives." James says smiling.

"Well, maybe you should try and be better at potions, Evans is in there." I say, nudging him. At first he puts on a face that tells us he would do anything for her… then on second thoughts just shrugs. I laugh.

"Charms next. Come on let's go!" I say running off, not wanting to be late, them scrambling behind me.

It turns out I actually was quite advanced on all of the subjects today, not so much on Ancient runes, but still quite good. They all seem to be good at most subjects. Remus a bit more, but that might just appear so because he pays attention in class. Lastly, Astronomy.

"Hey, Az! Wait up!" I see Sirius through the back of my head racing towards me.

"Hey Sirius. What do you think of Astronomy? Is it any good?" I ask, not having really done the subject before.

"Well, today we're doing practical." He says a grin sliding onto his face.

"Practical? I'm guessing the room is enchanted then." I say slightly confused.

"We lie on the floor and have to guess what stars are which." He says, still grinning. I gape.

"You've got to be kidding me. I haven't done anything like this." I say.

"Lucky you've got me then!"

"Okay, everyone lie down, and study the stars closely." The Professor says. I drop my bag and start to lie down. To find Sirius has put his arm round me. Instead of protesting, which I knew wouldn't get me anywhere, I just lie there. It's quite comfortable actually. I can feel just from lying on it his arms are really strong. I look to him and he's smirking.

"What?" I whisper to him, as the professor carries on talking.

"Nothing." He says, grinning even harder.

Astrology proves to be a little harder than the other subjects. And boring. Luckily I don't get asked any questions, but when Sirius answered, he was perfect. No, I mean his answer was perfect. After, we went back to the common room.

"Hey! How was Astrology?" Remus asks, greeting us from next to the fire.

"Very comfortable." Sirius says, grinning again and slumping down on the sofa.

"And dead boring. And harder." I say, flopping onto the sofa next to him.

"I'm sure you'll get the hang of it." James says from my other side.

"Black, Potter!" A 7th year who I remember to be called Leo comes up to us. "Try-outs are Saturday, can you be there?" Both just nod unnoticeably and I sigh.

"Yes they'll be there." I say politely. "What try-outs?"

"Quidditch. Please say you've heard of that!" James says grabbing my hands and getting down on his knees.

"Don't worry, I know quidditch. What do you guys play?" I ask.

"Beater, Seeker. Do you play?" Sirius asks curiously.

"I've never really tried. Plus I wouldn't know what broomstick to get." I say shrugging.

"Get a cleansweep 2. Would you go for chaser like Leo?" James says casually.

"No, I'm more of the keeper type. Do you fly Remus?" I ask, seeing him looking just as tired and worn out as this morning.

"No. I'm not really into it as much as these guys." He says, slightly quieter than usual.

"Are you okay? You seem, really, under the weather." I say, sliding of the sofa to him.

"I'll be okay."

"I'm going to go and do that charms essay where this won't distract me." Indicating the crowd in the common room. James' eyes light up and he nudges Sirius. Soon I have all three boys looking up at me with really weird faces. And I know what they want.

"Okay then, make sure you don't get seen." I say. We go to the stairwell and I quickly push them up the stairs and into my room.

"Wow, you really get luxury!" James says, being the first to step in.

"Mint!" Sirius says, dumping himself on my neat bed.

"Nice room." Remus says sounding slightly doubtful.

"Don't worry Remus. Azzy invited us in here. It's more of a secret hut." James says coming to his friend's aid.

"Okay, you shoot ideas around the room while I write my charms essay. It won't take long." I say. I quickly write a detailed parchment scroll about the effects and functions of the water charm, Aguamenti. I hear the boys discussing whether to simple flood the Slytherin common room or just make it personal with Snape and Malfoy. As I finish, I jump onto my bed next to James.

"I would go for flooding the common room. I want to make the first prank I see a big one.2 I say smiling wickedly.

"All for flooding the common room?" Sirius asks. Everyone nods.

The next morning I order a Cleansweep 2. I also ready myself for my first prank with the Marauders tomorrow. I also take a sneak peek in their room while everyone's at breakfast. And I was right. I know I told Remus I wouldn't go digging, but trying to become an Animagus is dangerous. I found loads of research about how to become an animagus, what animal you would become… They're serious about this. But why? They must have a reason. It must have something to do with Remus. He leaves the day after tomorrow. And he seems… like he doesn't actually have a seriously sick Grandmother.

"Hey guys. Oh!" I say sitting in my usual place on the sofa. To my surprise there is a new boy, a boy I haven't seen before sitting next to Remus.

"Az, Peter, Peter Az. Peter was in Switzerland with his parents for the last week." Sirius says explaining to me.

"Hi." I say slightly nervous. I had not been aware of the fact there were FOUR marauders.

"Hi there." Peter says, shaking my hand. Unlike the rest, he isn't so good-looking, and looks like he doesn't belong so much.

"It's okay Azzy Pete's been with us ages." James says, picking up on my shakey voice. "She doesn't like meeting new people."

Sirius puts his arm round me as usual. Remus is reading, obviously, and James is staring at Evans.

"James, have you thought about the reaction she gives you when she turns you down?" I say, smiling at him.

"Nope, just notice her face…"

"You idiot, she depends on it. She hasn't ever asked anyone else out, nor does anyone ask her." I say shaking my head. James starts to answer but Remus shouts:

"Got it!" It startles all of us, Pete jumping, James not listening so much, Sirius blinks and I jump and accidently fall onto Sirius' lap.

"God Remus." I say, trying to sit back up but Sirius just holds me down and strokes my hair.

"You found the spell?" Sirius asks intently.

"Yes!" Remus says.

"What spell?" I ask

"The one we'll use to flood the Slytherin common room." Sirius whispers to me.

"It's-" Remus starts, but I interrupt.

"Agualiana?" I say obviously. They all stare at me. "You guys seriously didn't know the stronger water charm? Why didn't you ask?"

"You know an advanced water spell…" Remus says staring at me.

"That's not even done in school." Pete says in awe.

"Amazing." Sirius says, looking down at me.

"Well, now we've got that done… It's 2:30 right?" I say and James nods. "Well I've done my homework so I'm gonna doze here for a while." I say, turning into Sirius and curling up.

"I did mine earlier too." Sirius says to my surprise.

"Damn you dude! She's got you into a habit!" James says, grabbing his bag and pulling out some books. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Sirius smells of leather, and some nice smelling deodorant I'm guessing. It's a nice combination. Again I can feel his chest just from lying on his lap. He's stroking my hair as I flutter to sleep…

A room I don't recognise… a spell… Snape… Sirius… blood… I see myself struggling with Sirius' body, bleeding like hell. He's extraordinarily pale, howling in pain.

I open my eyes to see Sirius' navy t-shirt directly in front of me. I start to sit up and look around. It's eleven. Everyone's gone to their dormitories. I stretch and tap Sirius on the shoulder.

"Wake up Sirius." I whisper. He stirs and opens his eyes.

"Wow, I really fell asleep. That's a first." He says sleepily.

"Maybe you should get more sleep. It's eleven." I say, stretching.

"Nah, I rather talk to you." He says, taking my hand.

"Who says I'm staying." I say mysteriously.

"I can make you stay."

"How?"

"Like this." He says, grabbing me, picking me up in a ball and lying me down on the sofa.

"Physical tactics." I say nodding. "So have you ever been in love, like James?"

"No, it hasn't happened yet." He says shrugging.

"You've definitely had a girlfriend though."

"Yeah, but they were all too… girly."

"Sounds like your search will be endless." I say tapping his nose.

"Sounds like I'm searching." He says wickedly. I push his shoulders and get up, walking to my room, leaving him hanging.

At 2:20 I open my eyes and slip on my black sweater and jeans. I keep my hair lose and head to the common room. The boys are just arriving and we slip through the window and fly round to the window to the Slytherins bathroom. One by one we slip through the window and are standing in a cubicle. Then, making sure the coast is clear we silently go to the opposite cubicle, lock the door and leave the broomsticks and climb up into the ventilation shaft. Don't ask me how they found this, I have no idea. We crawl along, led by James. We go left, all the way to the end, right, right again and down a slope. Then we're in the Slytherin common room. We all slide out silently and stand on one of the tables.

Their common room is different, very different. The sofas are neat and fancy, there's snake statues everywhere and most of it's green or silver. While James crawls back into the shaft (you can't really reverse in that shaft) Remus, Sirius and I start to flood the room.

"Agualiana." I mutter. Once the water is filling up to the height of the table, Pete's into the shaft, followed by Remus. I hear footsteps and see a shadow coming down their spiral stairs. Sirius sees too and jumps into the shaft. Then, we see him. Snape. His eyes widen at the flooding then go graze the room to find us. His eyes flash with anger and he doesn't hesitate to send a curse straight to Sirius. It hits. I have no idea what it even was!

"Ahh!" Sirius says, in a lot of pain, he carries on weeping, trying not to make too much noise while I cast a shield charm around us.

"It's okay, it'll be fine, come on, you can do it!" I push him forwards and climb in myself, shut the shaft and block it.

I desperately cast a muffuliato charm on the shutter and shout up the shaft.

"Sirius is hurt, badly! His arm's leaking blood!" I say my voice cracking. My hands are already stained from his blood.

"We have to get back! Remus, Azzy, help Sirius get through the shaft!" James shouts. We scramble back with Sirius' howls of pain and words of comfort from Remus and I.

"Sirius, we're nearly there, it won't be much longer." I say pushing his feet a bit further along the shaft. I hear the James push the shutter open and drop out of the shaft. Then Peter. Then Remus.

"Help him down, he can't move!" I say. I push Sirius out a bit then see him being lifted by James and Remus into the cubicle. I shoot out and take a look at him. There was blood everywhere, and I didn't know what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

"We can take him to my room, I have some medical stuff. I can ease the bleeding for now, Remus, help me." I say, taking a look at Sirius. His right arm and shoulder are slit in quite a few places, like they've been slashed by a sword. Dark Magic. As I look it gets worse. The cuts are deep, all of them. My vision! This was what it was telling me.

"That's it!" I say, muttering the medical spell over the cuts. The bleeding slows, but the enchantment won't hold for long.

"Damnit! Sirius, come on! You can do it! Azzy, take his broom. You get him to your room, we'll go back to ours." James says handing me a broom. I look around. Pete's trembling with fear for Sirius, and Remus is white.

"Let's go." I say.

James helps me get Sirius on the broom, and I manage to keep it balanced. Not thinking I shoot towards Gryffindor tower. I look for my window. How was I going to find it? I look from window to window. Suddenly I spot my books on my windowsill and and speed towards it. I open the window and drag Sirius in as gently as I can and lie him on the floor. Trembling at the blood I grab my medical kit from under my bed and summon the essence of dittany.

"Sirius, this is going to sting, a lot, okay?" I say uncertainly. He's writhing in pain as I quickly dab his wounds till they are all closed up. I add some burlap essence to make it heal faster then clean the blood up.

"Sirius? Are you okay?" I ask, stroking his head. He's white at the blood loss but manages to nod lightly. I give him a unicorn hair solution to help the pain ease. I levitate him into my bed and finish by hitting him with a pleasure spell. He seems to relax and soon faints. I take deep breaths and clean the blood of my hands. His blood. I find a sleeping draught I made earlier this week and drop a few drops into Sirius' mouth. He seems to settle into a comfortable position and seems relaxed. I let out a deep sigh and slip into bed next to him. Tomorrow will be horrific.

My eyes flicker open.I feel something hard beneath my head and realise I'm leaning on his chest. I quickly sit up. 7 oclock. Lucky it's Thursday, we start an hour later.

"Sirius." I whisper lightly tapping his shoulder. "Come on Sirius wake up darling." His eyes open and he looks into my eyes.

"What happened?" He asks croaking.

"When we were in the Slytherin common room Snape came down the steps. He shot a curse at you, I'm not sure which. We managed to get you out and in here. I managed to fix you up." I say gently stroking his forehead. He still looks quite pale. "How are you feeling?"

" My shoulder and chest aches, but other than that, not too bad." He says frowning. "How are you Az?"

"Relieved." I say smiling. "Your skin is scabbed, but you have to make sure not to tear it as the flesh underneath still hasn't completely healed. It should only take another day or two, but you'll probably be scarred for life." I say sadly.

"I don't mind." He says, though I can't believe him. I bite my lower lip and help him up. I help him to my full length mirror and see him restraining whatever feelings he was having. The Skin was pink and stretched, three large scars over his shoulder and upper chest.

"I'm sorry." I say running my hand over the scars. "Don't worry Az, I'll be fine." He says hugging me. He holds me in his arms with a sad face.

You should stay in bed, I can get you some breakfast. I know a spell that should help you regain some blood." I say sadly, still looking at his scars. I leave him sleeping and quickly change my sweater and go to the common room.

"Is he okay? Where is he?" James says, bombarding me with questions.

"How is he?" Remus asks with James, forcing me back a few steps.

"He's fine. He's going to have his scars for life but it's nearly all healed and I put a spell on him to help him regain some blood." I say, not smiling, pushing past them. "He's sleeping now, I suggest we get him some food so he can go to Transfiguration on time and awake."

"Okay, We'll take you to the kitchens." James says, taking my arm and speeding me out the door.

"Kitchens?" I ask, but before I know it we're at a portrait of a bowl of fruit on the fourth floor, and he's tickling the pear. It giggles a bit, then it swings open. And I can't believe my eyes.

The largest kitchen I have seen. Okay, I haven't seen many, but I knew this was big. Hundreds of pots and pans, knifes and forks, fridges and freezers… And the chefs- house elves. There must be about a hundred!

"Master Potter, good to see you! Is there anything you need?" Four house elves had lined up in a straight line and the one closest was bowing to James.

"Yes please, a large fried egg sandwich with some pumpkin juice please." James says, not exactly smiling.

"Is there anything you need mistress?" A smaller house elf had come up to me, without realising.

"Oh, just a small egg sandwich for me please. Oh, and my names Azzy Zamora." I say smiling down at the little house elf.

"They're wonderful creatures. I hate people who mistreat them." James says, seeing my admiration for the little house elf.

"Who would mistreat them?" I say without thinking.

"Supidly rich families who think they're the most important thing in the world." James replies coldly. "Malfoy." I say realising. Soon we have a very big egg sandwich for Sirius and we rush out of the kitchens.

When the clock strikes 8 I wake Sirius up and James gives him the egg sandwich. He starts lapping it down while I dap some more burlap essence on him.

"Okay, I'll put a spell on your arm so you won't feel any pain for the next few hours, I'll redo it at lunch." I say, quickly taking my wand out. I realise he still hasn't got a shirt on and say: "You better go get changed, I had to vanish your other shirt because you were bleeding so much."

"Don't you like me without?" He says wickedly. I hold back a smile and shoo them out of my room.

"Transfiguration is not a subject that comes easy to many people." Albus says. I'm sitting next to Sirius who's lazing in his chair. "I want everyone to have transfigured their kitten into a watering can by 10 o'clock, then we will move on to dustbins!" I look at the cute kitten and mutter the incantation. The kitten turns into a green watering can, and then I change it back. And then into a red watering can, and then back. And then into a blue watering can, and back.

"You're skilled at everything…" Sirius says from beside me. I look to him, he smirks and turns his kitten into a multi-coloured watering can.

"Show-off!" I say, rolling my eyes. I look to my desk and transfigure my quill into a scarlet ribbon and make it tie itself round the kittens head in a neat bow. Then Sirius raises it by transfiguring his quill into another scarlet ribbon with golden bells on it, and ties it round the kittens feet. Smiling, I pick the kitten up and start stroking it.

"Mr Black, Azalea, I believed I asked you to transfigure your kittens into watering cans." Albus says politely yet strictly.

"I got bored with the watering can." Sirius says, transfiguring his kitten into the watering can and back to show Albus.

"After I had transfigured him the fourth time he looked a bit befuddled, so I decided not to make him feel sick." I say sweetly to my Godfather, who smiles knowingly.

"That's them Professor!" the class turns and I see Snape pointing at me and Sirus with Professor Slughorn in tow. "They flooded the common room! I managed to injure Black as they were escaping! And not to mention Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew must have been in on it too!"

"My dear boy, that is a huge accusation to make. Are you suggesting on my goddaughter's third day of school she broke school rules and flooded your common room?" Albus says, coming to my defence. As soon as he distracts them I slip my hand up Sirius' shirt and mutter a concealment charm.

"All you have to do is look at Black! I definitely made a mark on him!" Snape says, pointing at Sirius.

"Have a look if you must, I'm not complaining." Sirius says lazily.

"Well, if Mr Black agrees, he and Azalea, go to the hospital wing with Professor Slughorn and Mr Snape." Albus says. Sirius stands up with me, and as we leave the room he drags his arm around me and whispers in my ear:

"Nice concealment charm." I smile knowingly.

"Madam Pomfrey, I am sorry to bother you, but please may you take a look at Black's chest? Young Severus here seems to think he was responsible for the flooding." Professor Slughorn says sympathetically.

"Alright then." Madam Pomfrey replies. Sirius slips his shirt off, grinning at me. As I take a look, it seems before the scarring, Sirius' body really was perfect. He has a faint six-pack and perfect skin.

"Nothing there." Madam Pomfrey says, examining his shoulder.

I'm walking with the Marauders to Defence against the Dark arts. A spark alights in my mind and I quickly pull Sirius into the Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Take your shirt off." I say, rummaging through my bag for the burlap essence.

"Oh, okay." He says grinning. I quickly dap the essence on, then put it back in my bag. As I begin to leave, Sirius grabs me and holds me close to him.

"Are you sure that was the only reason you wanted my shirt of Az?" He asks wickedly, his mouth inches from mine.

"What would give you that impression?" I ask, managing to keep my face straight.

"Well, this morning when I woke up, the pain wasn't the first thing I noticed." He says mischievously. "The first thing I noticed was the beautiful girl sleeping on me."

"Really?" I say, raising my eyebrows. I manage to loosen his grip and walk out the door, hiding a smile.

"You can't fight forever!" He shouts through the door.

The lessons fly past as the day goes by. When it comes to saying goodbye to Remus, they all look a bit… I still don't know how to describe it. I keep tabs on everything they say and do, but pick up nothing. It's all so confusing! Every time I find a lead, they manage to make it a dead end!

When I get to my room I find my broomstick wrapped up in brown paper. Happily I untie the strings and reveal the shiny broomstick. Not wanting to disturb the boys after the awkward send off I stick the broom out the window and try to stay aflight. I try to remember how I flew Sirius to my room so fast, but my memory seems jammed. Incidently, in my frustration I shout "Forward!" out to the world, and the broom lurches forward. I cling on and lean forward, giving instructions in my brain. After half an hour of experimenting with my skills I decide to drop down by the boy's dorm. As I dive to the window I see Sirius lounging on his bed and James slipping his shirt on.

"Why hello there, my dear fellows!" I say through the window, lounging on my broom. James immediately looks around the room, trying to detect the source of the noise, while Sirius jumps up, looking confused. Peter, who I realise is in the corner just looks up at his friends. I compress my laughter, then say: "Over here idiots!" Sirius looks directly at me, then grins with that grin that makes my stomach tingle.

"Hey! Not funny!" James says, coming over to the window. "Oh, you're flying!" He says realising my appearance. Sirius punches him in the side, shaking his head.

"We'll come and join you!" Sirius says grabbing his broom.

Soon Sirius, James and I are all flying dangerously outside while Peter is watching from the window.

"What's the matter Pete? Not into flying?" I ask, shooting to the window, nearly colliding with it making Pete jump.

"Not really." He says. "Please, stop doing that before one of you hurts themselves!"

"Nah, it's too much fun!" Sirius says, grinning.

"We ought to go in soon though, it's starting to get dark." James says.

"Okay, if we're ending soon… you're coming too!" I say, taking advantage of Pete leaning out of the window and pulling him out of the window and let him fall down screaming. Laughing, I dive down, faster than him falling, and catch him 10 metres above the ground.

"Get me back up there!" Pete squeals desperately. I slide him onto James' broom and we start flying up.

I see the cold quidditch pitch. I see James, and Sirius laughing at the side of the pitch. I see me! I see myself catch 4 out of 5 goals, and then the last one…

My eyes fly open at 7. Even though it's Saturday, try-outs are at 11, and James said he'd help me practice a bit before it starts. I quickly jump up and change into some tracksuit bottoms and a long-sleeve t-shirt. I use refresh spray as normal, and tie my hair up in a high ponytail, twisting my fringe to the side. After tying my laces of my trainers, I head into the common room. James is already there in his Quidditch robes.

"Oh, hey early riser! Sirius will be down in a sec, then we can go eat, then practice!" He roars the word practice. "Not like any of us need it. You looked great yesterday."

"I second that!" Sirius says, dragging himself up the stairs and into the common room.

"Did you put the burlap essence on?" I ask him seriously.

"Chill Az! Yeah, of course I did." He says smiling. "Let's eat, I'm starving!" I say, heading out through the portrait hole.

"How do you think Remus is doing?" I ask, as I eat my toast in a civilised way.

"I...msur…hesdo…ingr..ate…" James and Sirius say, stuffing their faces.

"Excuse me?" I say pointedly.

"I'm sure he's doing great." James says, looking up.

"Right, his Grandma could die." I say, my face blank. James shrugs. "Okay that's it." I say standing up. The boys look around, then realise there's no one else in the room and I'm talking to them. "Remus' Grandma isn't gravely ill is she. I don't know anything about this other than somehow because of whatever Remus' situation is you want to become animagi."

"You owe me the truth." I say, confronting them.

"Az baby, we're not trying to become animagi." Sirius says, his grin a little crooked.

"Okay, let me make this straight for you." I say strongly. "I. Went. Into. Your. Rooom. And. Found. The. File. On. How. To. Become. Animagi. Years, of work and research." They both sink into their seats.

"Fine, we are. So what." Sirius says, for once a grin not plastered on his face when looking at me.

"That's it isn't it. I will find out."I say confidently.

After my confrontation, we manage to get out of the awkward situation and head down to the Quidditch pitch. Both Sirius and James hurl the Quaffle at me and I continuously block, hit and catch it before it goes through the hoop.

"Nice going!" James says, after about forty minutes.

"Cool! Let's take a break!" I say, flying over to them.

"You've got some true talent Az." Sirius says, his grin making me flutter.

"Thank you Sirius." I say, tapping his nose.

"James? Sirius? Is this your new friend? Please pray to God she can fly as well as you two can. We're in need of some good flyers this year." The captain Leo says coming over to us wearing the same Scarlet robes as Sirius and James.

"Yep, and she can definitely fly. Az, this is Leo." Sirius says, slinging his arm round me.

"Nice to meet you." Leo says, taking his hand out. I shake it but say nothing.

"Azzy, come out of your shell already!" James says smiling. I shoot him a face of exasperation then say:

"Good to meet you too."

"Right, you two help me round up the second years who can barely fly." He says sighing. I watch all the younger ones scramble onto the pitch. I decide not to join them for the warm-up, having already been out for an hour. Then I fly up for the fly-offs, and find myself infront without trying too hard. After I go and sit next to Sirius and James while Leo goes through the chasers and beaters. They find 2 new chasers, Marie Lamont a 3rd year, and a 5th year called Christopher Jeen. They join the 7th year chaser Onyx Ender. Leo finds no beater good enough to take Sirius' place, and with Leo being the other beater… He doesn't even bother doing Seeker trials, apparently James really has an amazing talent. The it comes to Keepers.

"Right, gather round. Okay, so it's Azalea Zamora, 4th year, Tom Xin 6th year and Lian Taylor 2nd year." Leo says, writing our names on his score sheet. Xin goes first, catching 4 out of five shootings. Lian Taylor seems to have no coordination at all, and only manages to catch one Quaffle, and even that was probably by accident. Then I go up. I easily ride the wind and catch the first four shots. It feels great! I see Sirius and James laughing at the side of the pitch… I see the last shoot… That's it! My vision! I skilfully twist my body and kick the Quaffle straight into Leo's hands. I grin at him, as he seems baffled and can't seem to figure out how the Quaffle ended up in his hands. I go down and meet James and Sirius.

"Wow! You managed to block Onyx's signature shot!" James says smiling.

"Yeah I remembered… must have been pure luck." I finish, remembering Albus' words. James luckily doesn't notice and carries on laughing at Leo. However, Sirius picks up on my little stumble, but stays quiet.

"Right, well that's it! The Gryffindor Quidditch team consists of myself, Leo Thomas, Sirius Black, James Potter, Marie Lamont, Christopher Jeen, Onyx Ender and Azalea Zamora! Well done to everyone in the team, bad luck for those who didn't!" Leo shouts over the crowd of gathered people. I smile brightly and slide up next to Sirius.

"You deserved it!" He says, slipping his arm round me as usual. "We always have a small celebration after the team's chosen."

"I'll be there. Do we have to dress up fancy?" I say carelessly.

"Nah, this is Quidditch." He answers helplessly.

"Thank God. You've been in the team how long?" I ask

"Second year. Me and James trialled together and both got in." He says grinning.

"You do know what you do when you grin like that right?" I say hopelessly.

"What?" He says, thirstful for my opinion.

"Every time you grin, every girl in the room stares at you. You dazzle them." I say putting my hands in the air.

"What about you? Do I dazzle you Az?" He asks.  
"No, you're I'm not really into that stuff." I lie. "Anyway, I wouldn't trust you if I did. You've been with loads of girls, and dropped them straight away, pretty much." Now that is true. However, he still pouts like a child. I hit him in the shoulder and go back up to the castle.


	4. Chapter 4

"Cheers everyone, to the Gryffindor Quidditch team!" Leo says, everyone holding a paper cup with Lemonade in, apart from Onyx who has butterbeer, being eighteen. As usual, after the toast, I go and sit on the sofa, quietly drinking my Lemonade. It gets to eleven, then James and Sirius come to join me.

"You should come celebrate with us!" James says, him and Sirius both slinging their arms round me.

"Yeah, people know you're with us. They judge you as they judge us." Sirius joins in.

"Fine, if you want me to make you look like idiots, I give you permission to come and drag me over to wherever you are at the next party." I say, tapping them both on the nose and getting into a comfortable position as usual with them and drift to sleep on the sofa.

My eyes open. I'm still in the common room, lying on the sofa with Sirius and James, them both asleep. I slowly untangle myself, making sure I don't wake them, and go over to the window. I watch the stars. The stars are always moving you know, just like the earth is always moving. I look through the grounds I graze through the beautiful woods and hills, but my eyes stop when I see the lake. I can't believe my eyes! I can see a dark silhouette of something. A wolf maybe, or some kind of beast. I get my wand out and magnify my view. It is a wolf! No! A werewolf! I can see the distinguishing features! The snout is thinner, and the body is more human like! I can't believe it! A werewolf, in the Hogwarts grounds! Of course it's the full moon. It must be someone from Hogsmead. But I haven't heard anything about a werewolf living there. And it would be all over the place. Maybe…no. No, it couldn't be a student? But, the student I guess must be away, as the effects last two or three nights… I have to find out!

"Az baby?" I hear Sirius mumble and I turn around. He's still on the sofa, obviously just awake.

"Sirius, there's a werewolf in the grounds! Over by the black lake! It must be a villager, but those chances are slim, it must be a student, or even a teacher, from Hogwarts!" I say, eager to tell him more. "I know it was a werewolf, the eyes were black, and all the distinguishing features were there-"

"I know." He says sadly.

"What?" I say, walking over to him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know. I know there's a werewolf. Yes, it's a student. I know him. You know him." He says calmly, looking down at his feet. My heads in a muddle. I know him? But no one I know has been away- Oh. Oh my God.

"Oh my God." I say the exact words I'm thinking. "That's why…Remus. Animagi. Oh, werewolves are friendly around other animals… Oh I can't believe I didn't see that coming. Well, actually I can. Oh Remus." I say slumping down next to Sirius.

"We're doing it for him. He's always miserable because of it." Sirius says sadly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I just thought the animagi… it can be so dangerous…" I say, resting my head on his shoulder.

"It's okay. You know now. Just like we'll know about your secret." He says looking directly at me. "I know you have something. You slipped up at the Quidditch pitch. I know it has something to do with why your mother was killed."

"Do you know the reason it's a secret is because of why my mother was killed?" I say suddenly. "Do you know that if it gets out my life will end the same way hers did?

"It's okay, as you said, I won't go digging in less you're in danger or whatever."

"I won't go digging, I'll just keep my eye on the ground in case there's gold" I say, smiling.

" Let's get some sleep." He says, stroking my hair. I get back into the comfortable position I was in and go back to sleep, not bothering to go to my room.

"Can you see that girl over there? She's a marauder!"

"Look at the positions they're in!"

"She's a Marauder? Really? How did she get in? Is she dating one of them?"

"It seems likely. Lupin isn't here, Black would've dumped her by now… could it be Potter?"

"Maybe he got bored of Lily saying no! She must be dating him!"

"Let's go and tell Lily!" I hear the various voices speaking. I can tell James, Sirius and me are still all on the sofa, sleeping. Well, I'm awake, but I have my eyes closed and can't be bothered to get up. Anyway, I get the good gossip.

"Lily, there she is!"

"I see what you mean guys, she must be dating Potter." She pauses, like she was deciding how to react. "Good riddance to him. I hope they have a lovely time." That's odd. I can hear a slight tone of bitterness in her voice. Obviously I can't see her, but still. Keeping still, I lightly tap Sirius.

"Sirius, we fell asleep again." I murmur quietly, both of us still dozing.

"How long have you been dozing?" He murmurs back.

"About fifteen minutes. I've got some gossip though. All the girls think I'm dating James. Lily said she's happy, but I think she's pretending! She sounded really bitter!" Okay, am I really becoming a gossip mongrel? Sirius sits up straight, his face coming right up to mine.

"Really? We've got to tell James!" He says, then hugging me. On the count of three, we jump on James till he's on the floor, glasses askew, and most definitely awake.

"What?" I look around; the common room's starting to fill up.

"Meeting at mine 10 minutes. Get changed." I whisper, going off to my room.

I quickly slip on my blue "skinny" jeans, which were apparently the new trend. I also slip on an oversized band t-shirt and quickly brush my hair, refresh spray, and moisturise. I slip my brown boots on and am doing my hair when the boys come in, with Peter.

"Nice room." Peter says, looking around, seeing my books scrambled over my desk, my wardrobe slightly ajar and the clothes stuffed in, luckily nothing personal, and my bed completely unmade from two nights before. I smile at him.

"What was the wake up call for?" James says, sitting on my blue suede armchair.

"Well, I have some news for you. I already told Sirius that-" Sirius, obviously at his name interrupts me.

"That, Evans saw us on the sofa, and all the girls think you and Az are an item!" Sirius says excitedly. James just looks utterly confused.

"How is that good? You're the one who likes her-"

"Yes, but Evans was telling her friends that she was glad you moved on… but Az says, she heard the bitterness in her voice!" Sirius says, way too excited about it.

"I still don't see where this is going." Peter says, just as confused as James.

"Boys, boys, you really don't get girls do you." I say shaking my head. "Lily, doesn't hate the attention you give her. She relies on it. She relies on you to keep on asking her out. I think, maybe if we can develop this, so she thinks you've completely forgotten about her, and fallen for someone else, she might just fall for you!" It takes a few seconds for the words to register in James' mind. Then his eyes alight.

"You mean Evans, might actually like me?" James says, jumping onto the bed, and knocking me and Sirius over.

"Yes! And god you're heavy!" I say, being completely squished under James.

"Get used to it!" Peter says, and he jumps on the bed too. We all get into a tangle, and of course, the laughing doesn't help.

Once we're out of ourselves, and back into more civilised positions, we start brainstorming ideas.

"So, we need to make Evans jealous." Sirius says.

"Very jealous. Just a little will just make her to find someone else." I say.

"So… James has to date someone who annoys her." Peter says.

"Yeah. Go have a fake relationship." I say smiling.

"Who with?" James asks.

"Who do you know who really gets on Lily's nerves?" I ask. "I know she really gets on mine." I add, thinking about when she insulted the Marauders.

"No one… you say you don't like her?" Sirius says suspicious.

"Definitely. Sorry James, but before my first potions lesson, she totally tried to rule me. She said I shouldn't be hanging with you guys, called Sirius a really mean term, and well, generally sucked up to my face. I told her to piss off obviously…" I say, realising what Sirius was getting at. "No. I can't! No!"

"Oh come on Az!" Sirius pleads.

"Come on! It will just be a fake date! Plus, you know it's a fake date, which means I won't have to pretend I'm googly eyes in love with someone! We can just go as friends but make it look like we're dating!" James says, catching on. They start begging, and getting closer to me and…

"Okay! Fine! I'll go! But it means we're-" I motion to me and James "going to have to act like we are dating, all the time because we hang out all the time." I say, not sure I wanted to flirt with my best friend.

"Fine with me. Sorry Sirius, no more flirting with Az while I'm around!" James grins at his best friend. Peter, at my window suddenly says something unexpected.

"I wonder how Remus is doing…" James goes white, and starts to look at me.

"Oh, yeah. I know." I say, standing up. "I kind of sussed last night, when I saw Remus next to the lake."

"And I kind of filled her in on the rest." Sirius says. I thought James would go silent. I thought Peter would go silent. I thought they would both be shocked. Completely right about one, completely wrong about the other.

"Wow! That is good to get of my chest! No more secrets now!" James says, leaping up in the air. I laugh at him, and go up and hug him.

"I'm glad you're not freaking out fake boyfriend!" I say. "So when will the fate be?"

"Fate?" Peter asks.

"Fake date."

"Next weekend's a Hogsmead weekend. We can go to some stupid café and everything." James says, looking at the book on my desk.

Quidditch practice. Cold. Damp. Not wet, but still… It's great! I know, I'm a bit weird, but I love cold weather! Wet not so much, but light rain is very nice actually.

"Azzy! Take down Onyx!" I hear Sirius shout. We're training the new chasers. Leo seemed to have realised I had already done quite a lot of practice with James and Sirius so didn't bother with keeper training. I speed up to Onyx and knock him to the side with some amount of force. Onyx, being a big figure, was surprised at my force and was actually knocked to the side. However, he then comes back at me. Instead of flying away like I hear James shouting, I stay head on and Onyx hits me. Damn that hurt! I'm hit quite a far from Onyx and am spiralling towards one of the stands. Luckily I slide of my broom, get in contact with the stand and kick of the stand and start flying again.

"Careful Onyx! Azzy may be strong but this is practice! We don't want our best keeper in the hospital for our first game!" Leo shouts over.

"And if you put her there, you'll be joining her!" Sirius yells violently, handling his beaters bat. He flashes a smile at me, then hits a bludger with his strong arms towards Marie. Did I actually just say his strong arms? Oh come on! I can't be falling for Sirius. Even if I did, I'd be another one of his conquests and get a broken heart and have no friends. Okay, concentrate Azzy! As I see the chasers approaching the goalposts I get a grip on my broom and speed there in seconds. As Chris takes a skilled spinning shot I slide to the side, tap it gently so it hits the ring and catch it in my hands smiling wickedly.

"Leo! Who's the keeper for Ravenclaw?" I ask, mentioning our first opponent.

"Um, I think it's Joseph Biar? Or is it Bial?" He says thinking hard.

"Oh, Joseph Bean? Go for power shots guys; he's a total nerd, not a very strong build." I say.

"How do you know him?" Sirius asks suspicious.

"I was paired with him in Charms, remember?" I say carelessly. I quickly drop down to the ground and quickly go get the apple I saved from breakfast. I take a bite, and head back up to the goalposts.

"Azzy, you don't want to be daydreaming while these guys throw the quaffle at you-" Leo starts. Marie had just taken a shot , and I merely stuck my leg out and it tipped into my hands. I throw it to Onyx, take another bite, and say:

"You were saying Leo?" He puts a blank face on, then carries on playing.

"Quidditch… It's so energizing!" I say as I walk brightly into the common room. "Don't you guys think that?"

"I think she's mental." James says.

"So… cold…" Sirius says, dragging himself in. I roll my eyes and hit them both with a heat spell. They go into praise mode.

"Oh come on, stop it- Remus!" I spot my werewolf friend sitting on the sofa in front of the fire. I push James and Sirius out of the way and go to hug Remus.

"Azzy. Hey there." He says, sounding slightly depressed. I open my mouth to explain but Sirius gets there first.

"She knows about your furry little problem. She sussed when she was looking out the window, and we filled her in." Remus face goes into a scared look, then sees how bright I'm looking and tries for a smile.

"You really don't mind?" He says edgily.

"Of course not." I say kindly, and sit down on the sofa. "Situations like yours are a real problem in the wizarding world. Anyway… animagi."

"What about it?" James asks, lounging on the sofa.

"When were you planning on doing the… ceremony?" I ask, a little awkwardly.

"As soon as we get everything covered. We've read every reference in the library, plus all the books we can find, but we still haven't found everything." James says quiet, yet a little irritated.

"I have a proposition to make." I say slowly, standing up. They all look at me, waiting. "My mum, as you know, was an animagus. She had me set to become one too. I know all the ins and outs, all the things to do, all the things that could go wrong. I will help you… if you let me become one with you." They all look up at me, before grins breaking out on James, Sirius and Pete's faces. Remus however was a different story.

"Absolutely not. I barely tolerate these guys doing it for me, but definitely not you. No way Azzy."

"Come on Remus! What's the difference between me and them?!" I argue, clearly annoyed.

"You're… more… delicate." He finishes, obviously trying to find a reason goof enough.

"So I'm more delicate than…Pete." I say slowly, apologising to Peter through the corner of my eye.

"Um… not exactly… you're… just no!" He says firmly. It wasn't a question.

"Remus, I could do it on my own if I wanted to… I'd probably get there before these doofuses." I say, signalling to the boys. They fake being outraged, obviously knowing I probably would get there before them. Remus looks conflicted, before sighing in defeat.

"Fine. If you get hurt… any of you I'll kill myself." Remus says, hanging his head.

"We wouldn't let you do that." I say. "Oh, we need to… my room, now." I add quickly, slipping up the stairs.

"What?" Remus asks, coming into my room for the second time.

"James, tell him everything about operation fate." I say blankly. Remus looks puzzled.

"Well, when you were away, Evans caught us three asleep on the couch and thought that me and Azzy were dating. Azzy heard her telling a friend she couldn't care less, but there was bitterness in her voice and Azzy says she could even like me so if we make her jealous enough of another girl she hates who is supposedly with me she will declare her undying love for me and because Azzy knows about this and Evans hates her anyway she's going to be my fake girlfriend and next hogsmead weekend we're going to go to a sappy café and pretend to be falling in love, but obviously we aren't cos she's Sirius' girl and then Evans will get so jealous then me and Azzy will have a massive break up in a public place so everyone knows then she will come to me and I will sweep her off her feet!" James says extremely fast. Like lightning fast. Like speed of light fast. Seriously.

"I think I got that…" Remus says, obviously a bit overwhelmed.

"What did you mean by Sirius' girl? He's like this with every girl he meets, unless she's a damned fiend from hell." I say glaring at James. He shrugs.

"Fate… fake date? Okay. Don't we have to make her see you then?" Remus says, catching on.

"Good point." Pete says.

"Idea time." I say. "Evans won't listen to any of us… who will she listen to?"

"Any of her weird obsessive friends." Sirius says.

"Some of them are nice…" Pete says blushing.

"Do any of them… are any of them really inexperienced in the love department. Like really inexperienced?" I ask frowning.

"Kitty Wills? She's really annoying, probably why no one will even ask her on a date." Remus pipes up. A smile slowly slides onto my face. This would work.

"Okay, shut up for a second. You- as guys- will not understand this but just listen. As I just said Sirius is flirtatious with every girl who isn't a prick, so…" I say, the boys rolling their eyes at me. "If Sirius flirts a lot with this Kitty girl, makes her feel like she's the best girl in the world, then he asks her a favour, and because she is inexperienced, she'll do anything for him literally. He asks her to tell Evans to go to whatever café we're going to, without telling her Sirius told her, then she'll be there right?"

"Plus, after we know Evans is jealous and totally in love with James, Sirius can dump her on her fat butt and we won't feel guilty at all!" I say smiling.

"Are you sure she'll do what Sirius asks her to?" Pete asks uncertainly.

"Of course she will. Everyone loves me." Sirius says, grinning deviously.

"This is going to work. Sirius, go sweep her off her feet." I say confidently. He salutes, then exits the room.

"You really shouldn't encourage him." Remus says.

"Who said I was? I may not have been here very long, but I already know what he's like with girls and I definitely don't approve." I say, shaking my head.

"You have no idea. He was a lot worse, before you came along." Pete says gravely.

"He made enemies, not very nice people. Actually some weren't that bad, but now none of them touch us. But we're still in our fifth year, he has time to… do something about it…" Remus explains to me.

"Like what? It's his attitude, he'd have to become a different person in order to change." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Or… just meet the right girl to put him in his place." James adds, looking directly at me. I look at the floor, hoping they don't mean me.

"You're wrong… no girl would be able to tame him. He's a wild beast. He could never be attached to anyone for more than a few weeks." I say, ending the conversation and walking out of my room.


	5. Chapter 5

I can't believe James! Implying that kind of thing! Sometimes I start to wander why I hang out with guys instead of girls. Then I remember, it's to avoid all this stuff. Jeez, when did I get so stressed about this stuff. It turns out Sirius managed to get Kitty Wills pretty easy.

"Hey guys, I'd like you to meet Kitty, my date to Hogsmead." James, Peter and Remus all keep reading their books in their lounging places on the sofa. I sigh and turn around to smile at Kitty.

"Nice to meet you Kitty. I'm afraid these chumps will never stop looking at their books until they're finished." I say sweetly, taking in the blond, annoying face next to Sirius'. Wow, she really isn't… well… forget it.

Sirius sits down next to me on the sofa as usual, but winking at him, I go ahead and lean into James, who shrugs his arm around me. Meanwhile Kitty scrambled onto Sirius' lap, who lent back and relaxed. I start reading James' book (Wand lore Wits) while silently watching Evans who was studying in the corner of the room. We were being so quiet she hadn't noticed us.

"Make a joke." I mutter to James out of the corner of my mouth. He looks at me confused answering:

"What joke?" loudly enough so the whole common room could here. Well. That was going to have to do. I giggle like a girl while elbowing James in the side. He starts to make a face then catches Evans in the corner then laughs with me, pulling me closer to him and stroking my hair. Wow that feels … not as weird as I thought it would be. Now although this was a great move, I really started to laugh. I let out a small laugh while desperately biting my lip hard to stop me from laughing.

"Damn my lip hurts." I say after a few breaths, rubbing my lip. "Please don't make me do that again." James grins and whispers.

"Well, it's not my fault you find me so funny." I flick him while grumbling about whether it was worth it or not. I look to the corner and catch Evans' eye. Okay, it definitely was worth it, just watching her become jealous of me and my fake boyfriend. Smirking like a Slytherin I turn back to James.

"Well at least it worked-ow!" My lip had began throbbing and I tasted blood. Great.

"You okay?" James asks sincerely worried. "Here, let me help-" He leans forward to see what he can do but he loses his balance and falls forward, his lips landing on… mine. At first we both flinch but I quickly remember the mission hold him still. His lips are soft, and warm, and it feels nice. Oh great it feels more than nice.

We slowly break apart finding ourselves blushing furiously, with most eyes on us. There's silence before-

"Get a room!" a 6th year shouts at us. I take pleasure in flicking my wand back, hitting him with a freezing charm. I sigh and snuggle back next to him, starting to read his book again, still blushing furiously, still smiling at how nice it felt to kiss someone.

"Did you enjoy your first kiss James?" Remus asks as soon as we had shut the door of my room at the end of the night.

"It wasn't planned guys, James just kind of fell on me-" I started.

"Into a kiss." James finished. "And yes, I thought it was particularly lovely! If you ignored the taste of blood." I hit him while jumping onto the bed next to him and Remus.

"What about you Azzy?"

"That wasn't my first kiss." I reply, not exactly sure how to say it. "And why would it matter if it was good or not?!"

"Because it was! And when did you have your first kiss then?" James replies obnoxiously. "You said me and Sirius were the fourth people you met!"

"My mother was the first, Albus was third. The second person I met was a boy a couple years younger than me, at the time I was thirteen."

"And you kissed?" Pete says incredulously.

"It's not as if we were strangers, we were really good friends and then one day he kissed me."

"What happened-" James starts to ask until Sirius interrupts as usual.

"Well, that got Project Fate underway, Evans had to leave the room. Kitty was all over me, she was doing whatever I asked her to." Sirius says, cocky.

"Well of course, we shall forever be in your debt!" I say sarcastically.

"I agree that it's all going well though." Pete agrees.

"James, Azzy keep up the love work. Just act all sappy." Remus adds.

"But no kissing James." I say as I see James grin. "Plus I'll probably flinch and slap you which would ruin the whole thing." I add smirking.

It soon comes up to the day of our match against Ravenclaw. My eyes squint open at 6 as usual, and I pull my hair into a neat high ponytail with my fringe. I use my refresh spray as my eyes are drooping shut then quickly slip on some tracksuit bottoms and a random tank top. I jog down to the great hall to find James and Sirius already scoffing down the food, with Remus and Pete looking exhausted beside them.

"What happened to you two? Get dragged out of bed perhaps?" I ask smirking.

"Shut up… trying to sleep." Remus mutters with closed eyes. I grin and sit down, starting to cut up a piece of bacon.

"Today's going to be great! We're already guaranteed a victory!" James says after finishing a boiled egg.

"And how do you know that?" I ask, rolling my eyes. "Yes, our team is amazing, but we don't know how good Ravenclaw's going to be."

"Easy. You've never let a ball in at practice, and James catches the snitch every time. Then there's the perfect weather, no wind or rain, not too cold - The perfect formula!" Sirius says with a piece of toast stuffed in his mouth.

"Please, Sirius! Don't speak while you're eating!" I say, shaking my head. After eating, we head back to the common room to collect our brooms, then head to the changing rooms.

_Where am I? Oh the quidditch pitch! The game! Wow, we're winning by a lot! 180-10. I guess James was right. Hang on… where's that bludger going? Oh my, it's heading straight for James, while he's speeding of for the snitch! What the-_

Another vision. But this time not one while I'm sleeping.

"Hey, Azzy! You okay? You look a bit dazed, and we really need you on your game!" Leo says to me as we mount our brooms, ready to fly onto the pitch.

"Yeah, just great!" I reply, gripping my broom. I hear the music, and the gate opens and I kick of the ground, and into my first proper quidditch match.

Racing to the right hoop, I lunge forward and catch the flying quaffle in my hands, smirking at the chaser.

"And Zamora catches yet another! So far in this match she hasn't let a single one in, and a fair many have been shot!" The commentator, I think it's Thomas Taylor, a 4th year hufflepuff. "Quaffle goes to Lamont, then to Ender, back to Lamont, and to Jeen who scores!" Yes, I punch the sky! We're doing great! 120-0, just a bit more of a gap and even if James doesn't get the snitch we'll win!

"And Black comes to Ender's aid, sending a well-aimed bludger to Kendell the captain, nearly knocking him off his broom! Oh but what's this? Quaffle approaching the posts…" What? My eyes dart from Sirius to in front of me as Kendell skilfully spins the ball through the left hoop. Great. Keep your eyes on the game Az.

"Sorry Leo, I'll pay more attention!" I shout to Leo, seeing his face in the air, not too far away.

Right, Chaser coming in at speed from the far left, hand position suggests a fake. She darts to the right then spins round and-

I easily slide my arm around the quaffle and yes, showing off, I let it pass behind my head and round to my other arm. I smirk at the Ravenclaw chaser, forgive me for not knowing her name, then do a quick pass to Maria.

I see the idiot Kendell streaking up the pitch with the quaflle, as a well-aimed bludger hits him in the stomach just after he throws it to the female Ravenclaw chaser. She ascends upwards until she's a good 30 ft above me then dives down. Apparently this was her signature move. And lucky her I knew exactly how to prevent it. As she dives I ascend to meet her and jump off my broom, seeing the confused look on her face, put my arm round the quaffle and, yes, again showing off, do a backwards flip in theair before easily sliding back onto my broom, a wide smirk on my face and clutching the quaffle. Boy, this was a great first game!

After 113 minutes, it's 180-10, and I really want James to catch the snitch soon. The Ravenclaw chasers have really kept me busy, and I'm sweating like crazy.

"And there he goes! Potter, shooting down the pitch, with Lynch not far behind!" I watch James as he dives down the centre of the pitch for the snitch and I see the fleck of gold just a few metres in front of him.Hang on… where's that bludger going? Oh my, it's heading straight for James, while he's speeding of for the snitch! Instinctively I speed away from the goalposts and fly in between James and Lynch, smashing into the bludger…

"… At least we won. James caught the snitch seconds after."

"At least Leo managed to catch her before she hit the ground."

"She looks bad." My eyes flicker open slowly and I see a load of sweaty worried faces in scarlet quidditch robes around me. I also find myself with a massive pains in my right arm and shoulder, plus a bad stomach ache.

"Yay, she's awake!" Maria says, smiling at me. I start to push up into a sitting position but Sirius who I see next to me pushes me back down.

"You're not leaving this bed." He says protectively. "It's my fault, I was too busy watching that idiot Kendell to see the bludger."

"It's mine too, I should have been there quicker." Leo says grimly.

"No, it's fine, it's no one's fault. Thanks for catching me Leo. And we should be celebrating! We won right?!" I say, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm not celebrating with one of the start members of my team in the hospital wing.

"He's right about that, only one Ravenclaw goal, when at least 40 were shot." James says proudly.

"You have a broken wrist, your shoulder was dislocated, but it's been sorted now, and you will probably have back pains?" Madame Pomfrey says, pushing her way through the Quidditch players. I nod. "Right, you, get out. She needs rest. You can see she's fine now, only a few people can visit **quietly** at a time."

I smile as the quidditch players grumble away, and Remus and Pete come hurrying in.

"Azzy, are you okay?" Remus asks his eyes wide.

"Is there any blood?" Pete asks with his eyes squeezed shut.

"I'm fine Remus, and Pete there's only a little dried blood on the sheets." I say smiling at my friends.

"You'll be out soon; I'll give you a potion to help with the pain." Madame Pomfrey says, after quickly flicking her wand and hearing my wrist click with a slight sting.

"That's good; I guess it isn't really a wonder why you, my dear was injured in quidditch." I turn to the entrance and see Albus coming through the door, his eyes twinkling.

"Albus. Yeah, I suppose so. It's not that bad though. Nothing to worry about." I say, greeting my godfather.

"Oh yeah, Professor Dumbledore is your godfather!" Pete says, remembering. I nod and continue.

"I should be out soon though."

"I came to also congratulate you on your win! Even as a Professor, I will always be a Gryffindor." Albus said smiling. All of the marauders grin wickedly, understanding completely.

A few hours later we were in the common room, lounging around on the sofa as usual.

"Hey Sirius… You were amazing in the quidditch match; I've never seen a beater who played as well as you did!" I look up from my position, having to move uncomfortably to look at the student. Damnit, I was leaning on James with my legs on Sirius' lap, unfortunately I was forced into a sitting position.

All that, to look at Kitty Wills. God that girl is persistent. Since she and Sirius had… you know, gotten together she'd been coming to flirt with him at least once every ¾ of an hour. Including in classes. And I never get my maths wrong.

"Thanks, it was an easy win. Though if I'd been quicker, Azzy wouldn't have got beaten by that bludger." He admitted.

"I'm sure it didn't matter that much. It was only one person's fault." Oh Shit. I can already feel Sirius and James getting angry. Bad move Kitty cat.

"I agree Kitty." I say quickly, holding James and Sirius down by their wrists, giving Kitty a sweet smile. "I mean, there's nothing Madame Pomfrey can't patch up. I was being clumsy" She frowns slightly but continues her horrid smile and sits herself on Sirius' lap.

"Jeez she really is a piece of hard work." I say as we sneak into my room at the end of the night.

"She shouldn't have said that." Remus says shortly.

"I could've punched her." James exclaims.

"Screw the fate, if she does that again she's dead." Sirius says harshly.

"Guys, don't worry, I'm completely used to a bit of trash talk. Don't worry at all, if it happens again, let me handle it and I'll stuff her words up her own arse." I say smirking.

"Other than that, it's going well. Just keep up the lovey dovey and day after tomorrow – Madame Puddifoots!" Remus says, keeping on track.

"What's Madame Puddifoots?" I ask, having not heard the term before.

"It's the most sappy, cheesy love café in the world." Pete says, disgusted. "It screams cheese without selling any." Oh. Great.

"Ugh." I say, slumping onto my bed.

"Some of the cakes are okay though." Sirius says, his eyebrows raised.

"Like I'm going to be thinking about food this weekend." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Is it okay if I do?" James asks, completely serious.

"Definitly not." I reply, equally serious.

I scribble down notes on whatever Professor Slughorn is talking about right now. I seem to know what I'm writing down.

"Miss Zamora- perhaps you could tell me what the product will be if you drink a beauty draught and a medical draught after waking from a sleeping draught?" I look up when my name is called to find Professor Slughorn asking a question on whatever he had just been talking about. Shit.

"Erm… medical draught… boils will sprout all over your face which are irremovable unless you have the very rare nix feathers…" I try to say it without making my voice go up in pitch at the end. Slughorn's face bursts into a smile and I secretly let out a sigh of relief.

"Close shave Az." James says coming up to me on our way out.

"Tell me about close!" I reply nervously.

"I think you've been hanging round James and Sirius too long." Remus says sighing.

"As if! We always pay attention in class." Sirius says grinning.

"Actually you have the skill of a two year-old Black, you just have an extraordinary lucky streak." A sneer comes from behind and before I'm completely sure who it is I whirl around and send a freezing charm on my victim.

"Dear, dear snivellus, he should really learn not to sneak up on us." Sirius says smirking at the frozen Slytherin.

"He should take a class on it, since he's so good at listening in class." I add. "Come on, I don't like to be late to my godfathers class."

It comes to the night before the Hogsmead weekend, and we all go into my room for the game plan.

"Right, tomorrow, Azzy will meet James alone in the front yard at 10:00, while me and Pete go separately and Sirius will go with Kitty." Remus says. We all nod in our huddle around our map of Madame Puddifoots. "James will walk Azzy down to Madame Puddifoots, and will sit in the front booth in front of the window so everyone can see. Pete and I will go to the quidditch supplies shop adjacent to the café, while Sirius will be a gentleman and go shopping with Kitty and her friends, aka Lily Evans." Again, we all nod.

"Sirius will make sure the Lily Evans party go to Little girly things, the shop opposite Madame Puddifoots, which, when they arrive, James and Az will start a very believable sloppy conversation, with a load of cheese. Sirius will make sure he's staring, so the Lily Evans party will definitely see, and hopefully we can get them into a right mess about it, then Sirius will leave to join us. Then at 1, James will take Azzy through Hogsmead, including a tour for her since she has never been to Hogsmead, which will end at the three broomsticks, where we will meet up and enjoy a well earned drink. Probably butterbeer." Remus finishes, smiling broadly at his organised plan.

" I have to say Remus, I think you've outdone yourself here, this is a soundless plan!" I say, smiling with him.

"I agree, Evans will fall all over you in no time!" Sirius says.

"I second that!" Pete says.

"Great!" James high-fives my ceiling, then turns to me seriously. "Azzy, what are you wearing?"

"Me? I thought you'd never ask!" I say in a false voice. "You'll find out. Oh, don't wear pink, yellow, orange, red, or white. Especially not pink." They all raise their eyebrows at me and I laugh. "What? Just because I hang out with you all the time, and my room is just as messy as yours, doesn't mean I'm not a girl!"

As soon as they leave, I open my wardrobe to look at my well planned outfit hanging on the inside of the door, along with the neatly put shoes on the floor next to the wardrobe. I grin broadly. I bet they're expecting a random pair of tracksuits, a band t-shirt, a hoodie, odd socks, and a pair of trainer. Oh and my hair in a reckless ponytail and my nails dirty and roughly cut. Jeez, they were in for a shock.


	6. Chapter 6

My eyes fly open at7:30, and I have a quick shower and wash my hair. I apply a light coat of tinted moisturiser all over my face, then pluck a couple of stray eyebrow hairs. I put on pencil eyeliner on top and bottom, then curl my eyelashes and add some mascara. Lastly I put murky green eye shadow on my crease, apply a mulberry lipstick and spray my face to seal in the makeup.

I drink a potion to make my hair go wavy and put on some clean underwear including a lace strapless bra. I open my closet and put on the outfit I had planned. After zipping up my suede knee-high boots I look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a black top that's tight around my chest and stomach , with a large ruffle at the top and a cage neckline. The same murky green has been splattered in a few places like paint. I then have some high-waisted dark denim shorts with some opaque tights that aren't completely see-through, but you can still see my skin underneath. Over the top I'm wearing a fitted camouflage jacket unzipped to give it some pattern. I finish by drinking a potion that gives me camouflaged nails then grab my already packed black shoulder bag.

Instead of going to breakfast I go to the kitchens, I mean, I want them to be shell-shocked when they see me in the courtyard, I can't have them seeing me before! I eat 2 pain au chocolate's and have a warming hot chocolate before having a mint and heading to the courtyard.

As I start walking down the stairs I see Remus and Pete near James, waiting with him and I guess Sirius is off with Kitty. As I get down the stairs James turns round and I take in his appearance. He's wearing a tight green t-shirt and his favourite dark jeans with his leather jacket, plus a state of shock seeing me. I smile as I look at the boys slightly shocked faces, then go up to meet them.

"Hey!" I say casually.

"Hey. You come and say hey completely normally while dressed absolutely gorgeously with most of the guys in this courtyard staring at your transformation!" James says his eyebrows raised. I look around, meeting a lot of eyes.

"Ohhh. Didn't notice that. And you actually look like you put in a bit of effort too!" I reply. He smirks and says:

"Well, I'm always deviously handsome but-" Before he finishes I kiss him quickly on the cheek and say;

"Should we go?" He nods and we wave goodbye to Remus and Pete.

"This is going to be great. We get to have a nice time while laughing at Evans' jealousy!" I say to James.

"Definitly. And I plan on having more than just a "nice" time!" He replies.

"Of course we will."

"Have you heard about the new broom coming out? It's called the nimbus 1000!"

"Yeah! Most of the major teams have ordered them in advance right?!"

"Yeah and…"We chat all the way to Hogsmead, without a doubt in the world.

Up in front of me is a building painted white with hearts painted in all different shade of pink with Madame Puddifoots written in swirly writing. Inside there were booths for two and only two, the tables with pink tablecloths on them and the seats made of pink suede. You could see on the counter little cupcakes and cookies with hearts and flowers on them in pink icing. Wow.

"You can't be serious. How can anyone bear looking at it for more than five minutes without being violently sick." I say in awe.

"Talk about being violently sick the first time I saw it I was paralysed for a good half an hour." James replies. He drags me into the café and I try not to look completely disgusted. Sliding into the front booth we look at the menu and get a strawberry milkshake to share and a plate of chocolate cookies with some weird love-inspired name.

"Sirius was right, these aren't half bad." I say, taking a bite out of a cookie. "Oh, eat nicely James, no stuffing your face." I say just as I see him about to stuff a whole cookie into his mouth. Instead he takes a small bite. "That's better."

"Here they come." James says as we see a group of perky girls with Sirius standing out like black and white.

"So… what's your favourite colour?" I ask flirtatiously, looking into his emerald eyes.

"You can't be serious. I can do better." James says, shifting closer to me. In the corner of my eye I see Sirius staring at us, slowly getting the attention of the rest of their group. "When did you get so beautiful?" He asks in a low husky voice, making my heart flutter. I smile and look down at the table instinctively but James' fingers are already tipping my chin up so our eyes meet.

"I'm not sure." I reply.

"Of course you don't, you always were." He says softly, and I really am caught up in the moment. Just as I catch Sirius staring emotionless, the girls all watching with fascination, Remus and Pet grinning from the side, and Evans going the shade of her hair and frowning, James cups my cheek and we both lean in and our lips meet like before. The kiss starts completely differently from the first time. It just goes straight to the warming feeling, sending my stomach in circles. I barely notice time as I'm stuck in half delight and half… well having a "gross I'm kissing my best friend" feeling. One thing I do know is that it's really confusing. As soon as my brain fully realises what's happening, I shift forward and put my arms round James' neck and feel his slight surprise that I'm not pulling away.

After what I realise as 8 minutes 57 seconds, though it felt like half a minute, I break away smiling.

"I vaguely remember saying no kissing." I say musing.

"And?" James replies, smirking.

"Who the hell fricking cares." I murmur, moving permanently into the closer position, my body touching his and our lips 3.72 inches away. "Look, Evans is leaving."

"I think they enjoyed the show." James adds, obviously amused.

"Well, half of Hogwarts would have heard in barely an hour from now, and probably everyone by the time we get back to Hogwarts, especially with perky little Jaune sunshine on the job." I say, restraining myself from rolling my eyes and making a disgusted face.

"That is true, she seems to be able to be late everywhere except when there's gossip." James agrees.

"Plus, she manages to have a first name that means yellow, and a second name like sunshine!" I say, scowling accidently as I lose my control. James chuckles.

"Of course you wouldn't like that!"

"Definitely not."

15 minutes later we exit the awful café, and James takes me through Hogsmead. There's an awesome joke shop called Zonko's apparently most of the pranks they do involve the tricks from there, and the marauder's map was based on some of their products. Then there's Honeydukes, which is the bestest, tastiest magic sweet shop I have ever been to… which I guess doesn't exactly say much but there's a secret passageway through the cellar to Hogswarts which is awesome. We also go into the quidditch store to get some new keeper gloves for me, and into a general store to get James a speech quill. We find ourselves ending at the townsquare infront of a shabby looking building with "The Three Broomsticks" on a sign in the doorway.

"Pete, Remus!" I exclaim as I see them in a corner booth with 5 drinks. James and I slide into the booth and James pours the drink into the pint glass starts to down it.

"Hey there, I think this worked out amazingly!" Remus says proudly.

"Yeah it did- James stop drinking, Sirius still isn't here we can't start you pig!" I say, slapping his hand lightly causing him to put the drink down. "What is this anyway?"

"Butterbeer. Heavenly liquid. The drink of the gods." James replies, not particularly happy about putting the drink down.

I smile and quickly take a sip of the orange frothy drink in front of me.

"No fair!" James exclaims. At first it just tastes of over-alcoholic orangey bubbles, which I have to say isn't particularly nice. But then the actual liquid fizzes nicely in my mouth with less alcohol and more tasty orange.

"Not too bad. I poured too much froth though." I look around at the door and check Sirius isn't coming then quickly yet carefully pour his drink with barely any froth, pour a little bit more into my previous glass then swap them. "That's better."

"You can't do that!" James protests.

"Of course I can! Sirius won't mind, he still gets the same amount of butterbeer, plus I'm the only girl out of us so I get priority. You know – ladies first?!"

"I think you mean ladies first after men?!" James replies childishly. I smile before realising Sirius coming to sit next to me on my other side.

"I thought you said no kissing?" Sirius said after sliding up next to me and taking a ginormous gulp of butterbeer.

"Told you he wouldn't mind." I say, watching him have his drink.

"Wouldn't mind what?" He asks confused.

"Nothing!" I say, taking a purposely taking a large sip of butterbeer. "So what's next on the line for project fate?"

"Well, I would say just keep on acting couple and let the rumours run wild. Then maybe two months from now break up in front of the whole school!" Remus says after visually making a plan in his head.

"Yeah, I suppose that sounds right!" James agrees.

"The only problem I have is managing to be "in love" with James. He's getting more typical guy every day!" I say, slouching back into my seat. "But I think I can manage it!" I add grining.

"Sirius?" Remus asks.

"I'm still confused, what don't I mind?" He asks, 8 sentences behind. We laugh while James says:

"Azzy drunk some of her butterbeer then swapped it with yours cos she doesn't like the froth." Sirius raises his eyebrows, and while I'm distracted laughing, he leans across and starts to sip my drink.

"Hey!" I say through laughter, and knock him away from my drink… and splatter it all over us. We freeze looking at each other expectantly.

"Well that was fun." Pete says, breaking the tension.

"Haha… Jeez…" I laugh in disbelief.

"Thanks Azzy!" Remus says sarcastically.

"What? It's Sirius' fault! He started drinking my butterbeer!" I argue back in my defense.

"Only cos you drunk out of mine first!" We all continue joking until Remus (obviously) notices the time and we start to head back to Hogwarts.

"I'm goona go take a shower." I say after getting to the common room with clothes sticking to my sides. I notice Evans and her friends in the corner and turn to James. "Thank you for the wonderful date. And the tour." I say while subtly motioning towards Lily. Luckily James took the bait this time.

"No worries, I had a great time too. An amazing time actually." He replies, his eyes twinkling. I supress a scowl and lean up to kiss him on the cheek.

"See you guys later." I turn and walk straight to the dormitory, not even glancing at Evans yet totally aware of her glares.

After I shower and change into some jeans and my black baggy band t-shirt I moisturise my face and go down to the common room while combing my damp hair through. Once down I see Thomas and Dan, the other two boys from their dorm and go up to them.

"Hey, Dan, Thomas, have you seen James, Sirius, Remus and Pete?" I ask cautiously.

"I think they're in our dorm." Thomas replies carelessly.

"Okay, thanks." I answer.

"If you're hoping to make out with James, he was looking egotistic earlier when we saw him." Dan adds, sniggering. I carry on walking to the stairwell, after mentally rolling my eyes and throwing a wave back to him.

"Hey." I say, after knocking on their door and entering without bothering for an answer. They all mutter "hey" back as I go and sit next to Remus.

"Sirius is in the shower if you're wandering." Pete says.

"Meh, people are already talking about us James. I got a load of glares from Evans earlier, plus Thomas and Dan were laughing their annoying heads off." I say.

"Evans was glaring?" Sirius says after entering the room.

"Yeah…" I start to reply in a fully fledged sentence but stop before starting as I see Sirius coming in shirtless. I mentally shake my head and manage to carry on. "I think it's all working amazingly… Sirius, you have obviously forgot to apply burlap essence onto your scars again!" I say frowning at his stretched skin.

He looks back at me, sees my face, sighs, and heads over to his bedside table and starts lazily putting burlap essence over the scars. I smirk knowingly and lean back onto the bed.

"So, while we're waiting for project fate to get underway, I think we should get pranking!" James says.

"I agree, I think the teachers are starting to get suspicious, none of us have had a detention for the last week!" I say smirking.

"Wow, we're becoming goody-two-shoes prefects!" Sirius says, scratching his head.

"Ideas anyone?" I ask, bored stiff.

"I feel like something colourful… maybe directed at everyone instead of just our special Slytherins." James says thoughtfully. "Despite my love for snivellus."

"Yeah, I mean, flooding the Slytherin common room was fun, but only the Slytherins saw our greatness, I want something more global." Sirius agrees.

"But still something that shows our loyalty to Gryffindor!" Pete says proudly.

"Hmm, have you ever thought of the post-it note trick?" I ask. They all look puzzled and shake their heads.

"I was reading a muggle book and some guys got loads of post-it notes and covered their friends car with it. We could cover the great hall with post-its arranged in the shape of a lion?!" I suggest.

"That sounds… awesome!" Remus says after thinking it through.

"Or… since we haven't pranked in a while we could make it even bigger… cover the whole school! I mean, it wasa muggle book, muggles can oly do so much without magic!" Sirius says grinning.

"All in favour?" James says, putting his hand up. Everyone puts their hand up.

"Azzy's on a role!" Remus says grinning. And I grin back.

"Okay, I've calculated the amount of post-its we'll need by dividing thesurface area of the castle by the surface area of the post-its. Millions of post-its will be arriving at the Hogsmead owlery tomorrow afternoon, if we go down while everyone else is at dinner we should be able to get them all back to my room without anyone noticing, and we can go to the kitchens afterwards." I explain. Jeez this was going to be hard. I mean millions of post-its to stick in one night, how did this happen?

"Right, so at 1 am we all rendezvous in the common room to collect post-its. Pete and I will go to the corridors on the west side of the castle. James will do the more secluded and unused corridors on the east side, you should be fine on your own as no one ever goes that way. Sirius and Azzy, you go to all the classrooms and common rooms. You guys need to be as sneaky as possible, we don't want anything like last time happening. After we're all done, we go to the great hall. This will be the most dangerous part, as by this time it could be as late as 4 am, so some crazy people might be waking up. Luckily it will be the fastest as all of us will be there. After, we can go back to our dorms and sleep." Remus says, going through the plan for the 3rd time.

"But be careful, It'll be Monday when you wake up so take a wake-up potion or something like that. Yep, that's all definitely in my head now. We better get going to History of Magic, Binns would kill us if he wasn't a ghost!" I say, grabbing my bag and heading out the door. Boy, I really couldn't wait for this prank!

The next morning I wake up slightly later, aware of the all-nighter coming up. I don't bother to shower, just refresh spray, tinted moisturise, eyeliner on the water line, mascara and lip balm. It being a Sunday I have bacon and eggs for breakfast before being jumped by Leo.

"Zamora! I'm calling an emergency practice in an hour. Make sure Potter and Black are there!" Leo barks at me.

"Yes sir!" I salute him before smirking at his face and jog of back to the common room.

After I get back I gleefully go to their door and slam it open.

"Rise and shine bitches!" I shout loudly into their room. I watch as Sirius rolls over and puts his pillow over his head, Remus sits up groggily, Pete looks up and James… Oh James leaps up to stand on his bed, hits his head. And falls of onto the ground.

"Nice one James, Leo's calling an emergency practice in… 53 minutes!" I say, walking into the room.

"Did you have to wake us up too?" Remus says, sliding out of bed and heading to the bathroom.

"Sorry Remus, Pete, didn't think of that." I say simply. Pete gets up in the t-shirt he was wearing yesterday and quickly tugs the same jeans on as well. I walk over to James and look down on him.

"James, you've been wearing that t-shirt for a week! I mean, I know I wear the same outfit for a couple of days but a week?! Get up! Leo's gonna be waiting." James grumbles on about hating Leo's guts but goes to the bathroom anyway. I look to my last victim and tip toe over to his bed.

"Sirius, come on my little sleepy pie, wake up for Azzy!" I whisper soothingly into his ear. His smile betrays him but he doesn't budge. I see him clutching his covers and have an idea. I quickly pull the duvet from his grip and tip the mattress (which was extremely heavy with Sirius on it) and let Sirius roll to the floor in just hisshorts from yesterday with no shirt. He moans.

"Azzy…" He doesn't budge.

"Come on Sirius, we don't want Leo to wait!" James says, waiting at the door. I start to go deep into thought.

"James, you go eat, I'll handle Sirius, I've already eaten and it's his fault he's not getting up. You guys go." I say, almost mischievously. James sees the glint in my eye and heads out with Remus and Pete following.

"Come on Sirius, don't make this hard for yourself…" I start, crouching down next to him. "I'd hate for something bad to happen to you…" I wait for a second to pounce then instantly start tickling him.

"Nooooo…stop…please…" He starts laughing hysterically, begging me to stop.

"I did tell you, I've learnt your weak spot!" I say, laughing at him while continuing to tickle him on his neck back, and the inside of his elbow.

"Please…" I slowly stop and watch him lie there, recovering. "So are you going to come with me or not?" I ask sweetly smiling at him. He nods slowly and starts to get up.

"I'd love to but… you have to pay!" He says grinning, and before I realised what he was doing he tackled me onto his bed and had started to tickle me. I really don't need to explain the feeling to you. Everyone's been tickled sometime in their life. But boy Sirius really can tickle well.

"Sirius….Please stop!" I struggle to get the words ou and he laughs at my attempt. Just as he slows down slightly to laugh, I seize my chance and flip him around and begin to tickle him again. Unfortunately for me he still had his hands on me.

We started to writhe around until we rolled onto the floor, both trying to tickle while being tickled. Somehow I managed to grab his hands and pin him down onto the floor.

"Sirius, please, can we stop?!" I ask desperately. He looked back at me still grinning and said:

"I think I'd die if we didn't!" I sigh in relief then open my eyes to realise I'm directly on top of him, my body pressed against him. Our eyes lock as he seems to realise the same thing.

"How did we get into this comfy position I wonder…" I murmurs, leaning up slightly, not breaking our eye contact.

"Come on Sirius." I say getting up reluctantly. Oh no, did I just say reluctantly? No I didn't, definitely not… "Here." I add, handing him a t-shirt from his drawer. He pulls it on and we head down to meet the others.

I'm sitting at the dinner table watching James and Sirius stuffing their faces with bacon. I can't help but think about earlier. I mean, Sirius is nice and everything, a great friend, and even god knows he's damn good-looking. But the way he's with girls…Kitty Wills is a prime example. Since I got here, I've seen him flirt with pretty much any girl he thinks is hot. Not pretty, just hot. That's a big enough bad factor for me to stay away from him. Well, in a not just a friend way. But he's so handsome! His hair just lies there perfectly messy from when he woke up. His smoldering eyes, perfect nose…and his careless grin. Jeez that grin! Maybe James was right. But no. He's pretty much my best friend with James and Remus. And I know that'll all break down if anything else happens. At all.


	7. Chapter 7

After Lunch I quickly finish all my homework I have, knowing tomorrow I'll be wrecked and won't be able to slip in a quick essay for any subject. By the time I'm done it's about 40 minutes till dinner, so I slip on my camouflage shirt over my black strappy top and slip out the door to go to the library.

And at the library I run into someone. Someone who I don't think likes me very much.

"Oh hello Azalea!" Lily Evans says after spotting me. "I didn't see you there, I mean I didn't expect you to come to the library anymore looking for books."

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, already suspicious of an insult coming up.

"Well I guessed you be off with your boyfriend making out somewhere." Oh, that's what she was getting at. "For someone so shy, I wouldn't expect you to be such a slut. I mean, I all think it's just a bit suspicious… a random girl just turns up and starts snogging the daylights out of the most popular guy in school, and hanging out with the marauders who somehow just welcome her in with no hesitation, even though they turn down anyone else." She's really going for it. Though, I'm pretty sure it took a long time for her to think that up, and it isn't even very good.

"Really? I think that's totally normal. I mean its an interesting part in life, it happens to most people. In less… it hasn't happened to you? Oh it makes sense now. The not so popular girl only noticed because the popular guy has an eye on her, but it turns out he's really into someone else, and then no one gives a shit anymore about you." I answer back fluidly. Unlike her terrible insult, I don't hesitate or stop to think about any word I'm saying, though she stumbled over a few. "That's got to hurt, I just have to ask, what's it like having a boring, uneventful dull life? With no one to care about you?"

She looks back at me speechless. She's too nice. She's a total wacko with insults. Literally. Though I guess I'm being a bit hard on her. The life I just implied on her was pretty much mine for 15years, though I had my mum. Her gaze falters in my hard mocking gaze and she turns around nervously and walks away. Sorry James, I'll try to be nice, but it's hard when our plan has made her hate me.

After leaving the library I go to the one-eyed witch statue and meet James, Sirius and Remus there.

"Where's Pete?" I ask, confused.

"Don't worry, he just messed up the plan because he forgot to do his COMC essay." Remus replies rather irritated. No one ruins his plans.

"Don't worry Remus, the plan will go fine." I answer smiling. We hurry down the one eyed witch passageway, and silently go through the tile in honey dukes cellar. Dressed in normal clothes, we don't attract attention with our long cloaks on, and we get to the owlery with no trouble.

"Okay, Azzy, ready to act like a mature woman?" Remus asks while transfiguring my clothes into a pencil skirt and a neat blouse and Sirius makes me taller and less… youthful and less recognisable.

"Of course. I'll be back in no time." I answer in my new lower voice. I walk gracefully into the owlery and go up to the counter. The employee can't notice any of us in case he reports it to Hogwarts. I mean, if this works it will be all over Hogsmead as well.

"Good Afternoon, I am here to collect a delivery." I say calmly, getting used to my altered voice.

"Delivery code?" The employee asks dully and I answer respectively. The employee leads me to the back room, which is full of large boxes.

"How do you want to… carry it?" The employee asks awkwardly.

"I can handle it.2 I answer immediately, and swiftly shrink the mass of boxes and walk out of the room with them levitating behind me.

"Thank you for using Hogsmead Owlery." The employee says to my back, watching me wander off.

"All done." I say as I pass the boys in a small alleyway. They change me back and help me levitate all the shrunken boxes to honey dukes in our cloaks. We silently slip into the cellar and hurry into the passageway. We make it to the witch statue but run into a problem.

"Damn it, we took too long!" Remus says. "I knew Pete should've come!"

"Relax Remus, it'll be fine." Sirius shrugs. "James, you have the cloak?"

"Yeah, but we won't all be able to fit in it with the boxes, and even if only one of us goes we'll look suspicious in our clothes and cloaks." James says thoughtfully.

"Do any of you guys know a disillusion charm?" I ask, a light bulb appearing above my head.

"No." They say back.

"Well I do." I mutter the advanced charm and they all camouflage into the surroundings. "I knew learning that spell earlier was a good idea." I say, smiling at my work.

"What do we do now?" James asks.

"I'll take the cloak and the boxes back to my room with you guys in tow. We'll all be invisible!" I say positively. We all silently exit the passageway, and walk back to the common room. When we get there we wait for someone to come. And oh joy it's Lily Evans.

"Aguamenti." She says clearly to the fat lady.

"Correct my dear." The fat lady replies, and swings open. I climb through at the same time as Lily, bumping into her and making her fall through landing flat on her face. The common room was full. The room fills with laughter and Lily's friends rush to her while the guys laugh mockingly. She goes a deep shade of red as we go up to my room, completely unnoticed.

"Azzy! Why did you do that?" James asks furiously. Wow, he really has got it bad.

"James, I was messing around. She insulted me earlier in the library. Project FATE has made her unbearable towards me. It's not my fault I'm defending my Gryffindor honour." I reply and slump onto the bed with a glum face.

"And… you could have just insulted her back-"

"Weren't you listening? Unbearable." I repeat again.

"Anyway, we got the post-its. 4 ½ hours till go time." Remus says, interrupting James' rant.

"Well, if you guys don't mind I'm getting 4 ½ hours sleep. We will have lessons tomorrow!" I say, shoo-ing the boys out of my room. Taking a few sips of a sleeping draught I fall asleep immediately.

_Where am I? The great hall… Wow these lions look amazing. Sirius is sticking the final one down. We run down all the corridors and-_

My eyes flick open after the fore dream. Better keep my eyes open. It's 12:30. I slip out of bed and dress in a tight black top and black jeans. Feeling kick-ass I grab my black body hugging motorcycle leather jacket and do the zip up half way. I brush my hair lazily so my fringe covers my eye as usual and go to the common room after putting on mascara, eyeliner and concealer.

"Right, time to split. Be silent. Be unnoticeable. But most of all, be fast." Remus says as we take our own lot of post-its.

"Meet up in the great hall. Split!" I say, and we go our separate ways. Me and Sirius start with the transfiguration corridor.

"Wingardium Leviosa." I mutter, sticking the post-its in a perfect pattern along all the walls and the ceiling.

"Why don't we make this even more interesting…" Sirius whispers to me, and points his wand around the room.

"Permanent sticking charm eh- nice one, though I'm sure Albus and the professors will find some way around it." I grin mischievously back to him, and we go through all the classrooms in a flash, permanently sticking every one of them.

"Now time for the Slytherin common room. Cobra." I mutter the password with my face cloaked and the dungeon opens.

It's deserted. Thank god. I help Sirius with the permanent sticking charm and look at the time.

"Sirius. This is our last room… and we have 1 hour left to get to the great hall. Why don't we pay Snivellus a visit." I say, smirking at Sirius.

"I think you're my soul mate.2 He replies sharing my grin as we go up the stairs I remember Snape coming down when he cursed Sirius.

"What should we do? You're better at the personal things." I whisper deadly silence, as we walk upon Snape's sleeping form.

"He looks… like he's washed his hair." Sirius smirks and he looks at me expectantly.

"I think I get you." I mutter a spell I came across in a book all about hair disasters. That's right, Snivellus' hair was literally pouring grease out of the roots. Sirius puts his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter, and enlarges Snape's nose.

"Hey, over here." I say quietly, and point at his and the other Slytherin's clothes in the wardrobe. Sirius grins and turns them a bright shade of pink, not leaving anything the dark emerald or black they were. We sneak out of the common room and hurry to the hall.

Once in the hall Sirius and I slide down the wall sniggering.

"That was too hilarious." I say, still trying to muffle my laughter.

"There you two are. We're half done." We look up and see Remus and Pete with half the hall covered in beautiful scarlett lions.

"James will be here in a few minutes, he's expected to take more time." I say, admiring their work.

"Let's hurry up, we don't want to get caught." Sirius says and we all carry on sticking the post-its.

Just as we're about to finish James arrives, and I start on the sticking charms.

"That's a good idea, we didn't think of that." Pete says, watching my spell-casting.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine." I say, thoughtful. "Hey, you guys go back to the common room. Sirius come with me." I add quickly taking Sirius' hand and dragging him of into the corridors.

"Help me cast the sticking charm. They'll be gone with one flick if we don't." I tell him, and he nods. We run through the whole school sticking everything permanently, and end up a long way from the common room.

"What's the fastest way back?" I ask him, looking at my watch. "It's 5:30. The crazy people will be up."

"Through the great hall. But it's risky." He replies.

"Come on! This is you and me! Who the fuck cares if we get caught?!" I answer back, and he smirks even more.

"I think we're rubbing off on you with that language." He replies. "But you're right let's do this!"

We get to the hall with no great difficulties, but spot a hufflepuff 2nd year wandering the corridors. We manage to slip past her though, and we're now on the other side of the hall, about to go up the stairs to the common room.

"Wait!" I put my hand up in front of him, stopping his path. My vision. This was it. "There's a teacher round that corner, we should go round the back."

"Are you sure?" Sirius says. "You haven't even seen-"

"I have a gut feeling. Let's go." I interrupt, realising my mistake. We go round the back and easily get to the other side.

"Well, I think it's clear. Let's get back." Sirius says, and we start walking.

"What did you do?!" We hear a loud angry shout, and turn our heads to see dear Snivellus and Lucius Malfoy. Wearing bright pink robes.

"Petrificus Totallus!" Malfoy shouts and Sirius and I duck and take cover behind the corner as we watch millions of spells being shot towards us.

"You got to admit… they look hilarious!" Sirius says and we start laughing loudly.

"It's not funny! Levicorpus!" Snape yells and Sirius starts to get pulled up by the spell.

"Sirius!" I yell. "Protego!" Sirius drops to the floor, and we start fighting back.

"Petrificus Totallus!" I yell and Snape falls to the floor frozen.

"Expelliarmus!" Sirius yells after, disarming Malfoy.

"Scram! Take your pink buddy with you!" We shout, and quickly run up to the common room.

"That was close." Sirius says. "Better them than a teacher though. We better get ready for lessons, see ya." I nod and run to my room.

I scramble into my school robes and swallow a wake-up potion. With my eyes brighter than before, I run to the great hall and smile when I see people staring in awe at the lions, with the Slytherins absentmindedly trying to peel them off. I try to put on a look of surprise, but I can't I just start laughing. I spot James Remus, Pete and Sirius and go to sit down with them.

"Mission accomplished?" James says smiling as I sit next to him and rest my head on his holder, acting with Project FATE.

"Definitely. You guys should take a look at Snivellus' dorm when they come in though." I smile and wink at Sirius.

"What did you do…?" James asks wickedly.

"You'll see." I answer and kiss him on the cheek. "I can literally feel two holes burning in my back." I smirk. James turns round and sees Lily Evans glaring at me.

"You should try to get along with her. If Project FATE goes through, James will have her as a girlfriend." Remus says pointedly. I scowl at him.

"Well James, if you want me to play nice, which means she has to play nice, you'll have to explain Project FATE to her, cos otherwise nothing's going to work."

"Come on Az. Please?!" James says with puppy-dog eyes. I look straight back into them and find myself smiling as he leans in.

"Fine." I say, pecking him. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sirius looking gloomy faced at his plate.

"Sirius?" I ask.

"What?" He asks, looking up and putting his usual smirk on.

"You were looking… gloomy." Pete says.

"Is it Regulus?" Remus asks, and Sirius hesitates, but nods. I think he's… lying. It's something else. I'll figure it out.

"Who's Regulus?" I ask confused.

"My idiot brother. Slytherin, my parents adore him. He's coming back from a trip to Venice with them this week."

"Why didn't you go?" I ask quietly, though I think I already know the answer.

"I didn't want to. And if I did I wasn't invited." He answers, though obviously doesn't care.

"Come on, no gloomy stuff! Prank Post-it went perfectly! I just can't wait to see the teachers trying to get them off." James says changing the subject.

"Attention please!" The Headmaster's voice booms out through the hall. "As you may have noticed, some students have… decided to show their pride for their house by covering the castle with these muggle, um, post-it notes. However this will not be tolerated. We are working on getting them down but the cunning students have put a permanent sticking charm on them. But don't worry, Professor Dumbledore, Professor Little and Professor Slughorn are all working on getting them down. As for the culprits, there will be severe punishments if you do not admit your doings, and if you do you will pass with a small detention. Please try to go to your lessons quietly and pay full attention, as all the classrooms are also… decorated."

All the Gryffindor students marvelled at the prank, as well as most Hufflepuffs and some Ravenclaws, though it wasn't their mascot on the wall. However, the Slytherins were walking down every hall with a scowl set on their faces. We marauders ate then went back to the common room where we got many congratulations slipped into conversations.

"Congratulations on your Potions essay!" Dan and Thomas say winking at us as we passed them on our way to the common room. We nod back and wear proud smirks as we ride into the common room. We get looks from everyone in there, and some have the courage to come up to us. It seems, everyone in Gryffindor knows that only we could have pulled this one off.

"Those lions were awesome!" A couple of first years say as they pass by. We just lounge on the sofa and get our books and nod smugly at every comment.

"May be your best prank yet!" Onyx says grinning wildly. Not being able to contain myself, I grin broadly for the rest of the day. And the day after. And the day after that. But then they got taken down. It seems, though our minds our creative, no one can match the skills of Albus. Apparently it was his own spell, and he knew it all along but decided to keep the lions up. I mean, he is a Gryffindor, so it could be true… but I've learnt not to trust rumours at Hogwarts.

"Do you guys believe what they're saying about Professor Dumbledore keeping the post-its up?" I ask whilst lounging my head on the sofa arm rest across James, with my feet on top of Sirius. James twirls my hair in his fingers lightly.

"Maybe. He would be my favourite teacher if he did." James replies.

"Well he's already my favourite teacher." Sirius says grinning.

"Same here, but this would make him even better." Remus adds.

"I think I like Professor Slughorn. He actually tells me I'm terrible at potions instead of telling me to try harder." Pete says and we laugh.

"Come on Pete, you're really clever!" I say, boosting his low self-esteem.

"Yeah, the only reason you seem not so clever is-"James starts.

"Because you hang out with us- the extra intelligent people!" Sirius finishes. They share a grin.

"Rude-" I say, pointing at Sirius and James. "But true. You're friends with the 4 most clever students in 5th year, maybe even the whole school. You can't be sorry for that."

"Hey Az, what you up to?" Sirius asks catching up to me.

"Going to Astronomy." I say obviously. "I have to ask, what was up at breakfast the morning of the aftermath? You were looking… jealous and kind of irritated." I ask nervously. He looks at his feet. Sirius is nervous? That never happens. Even his cheeks are flushing a pale crimson.

"Well…um… Az you probably already know do you have to make me say it?" Sirius stutters. Wow, he's… really nervous.

"Sirius, I honestly don't know. But you seem really nervous about it." I say, stopping in my tracks and turning face to face with him.

"Az… I don't like what's happening with Project FATE." He answers.

"I'm confused. Which bit? Lily Evans hating me for the rest of my life cos I can deal with that-"

"No, not that, what you and James are… doing." He struggles. I take a step back so I'm touching the wall and he takes a step closer.

"Do you mean being a fake girlfriend, cos it's not that bad, just a little awkward knowing I'm pretending to be James' girlfriend-"

"Azzy! Do I have to spell it out to you?" He says frustrated. I stare at him, my mind in a muddle. His hand's above my shoulder on the wall, and I feel like the time we had that tickle fight. Inches away. He closes the distance in that deserted corridor and I feel his soft lips on mine. Then I realise. The staring on the FATE. The unusual behaviour. What James said about me being Sirius' girl. He… likes me. I think. And he doesn't like me and James… kissing. As all these thoughts go through my head he pulls away and looks at the floor with a defeated look on his face. Just as he starts to walk away, I realise. I didn't kiss him back.

He's 10metres away and I call his name, and run up to him, but he doesn't turn.

"Sirius listen-" I start but see he isn't listen. In my desperate attempt to get his attention I place my hands on his shoulders and kiss him. It isn't like James' kiss, it's more urgent, more hungry. And after a few seconds he starts to kiss me back. His lips soft and with that experienced feel that James didn't have. I feel him drag me backwards and into somewhere dark, but we don't stop kissing.

His teeth gently tug on my bottom lip, and soon I feel a gentle warmth going round the inside of my mouth. I reach my hands up into his beautiful black hair, and knot my fingers into it. I feel the hem of my shirt being lifted up and feel the tickle of his fingers on my waist. We pull away after… hang on, how can I not know how long that took. I start to panic.

"What's up?" Sirius asks confused.

"I've lost track of time! I always know how long things take!" I say frantically. He just chuckles.

"It seems like you lost yourself in me Az."

"Haha, don't get cocky." I feel slightly nervous after that. Did we just make out? I mean… I just made out with Sirius. I felt my stomach tingle as I thought his name. Sirius. I guess I do like him.

"Come on, we're already late enough as it is." Sirius says, still grinning.

"Sirius-" I say, grabbing his arm. "Where are we?"

"Well, if we keep this up you'll be in here a lot more." Sirius smirks. Jeez, I can't believe what that kiss just did to me. I just made out with Sirius, in a bloody broom closet. I'm turning into a complete girl.

I shake my head and walk up the stairs and he takes my hand.

"Sirius, no one can know what we just did. James and Remus maybe, but if the school finds out it'll spread like wildfire and Project FATE will be ruined." He looks down sadly. "And that is so not going to happen after the amount of work we've put in Sirius!" I add almost angrily. He smirks.

"Glad you're still not a girl, even after that kiss of… 17 minutes." He answers. 17 whole minutes?! That was way longer than my kiss with James at Madam Puddifoots! My eyes widen in alarm and he just widens his grin.

"You look so cute when you're surprised like that." I glare at him and he holds his hands up, and backs out of the broom cupboard.

We begin walking to the astronomy classroom, and suddenly I hear footsteps behind me.

"Sirius!" It's a voice I recognise slightly. We both turn around and- Oh my fucking god.

"Azzy? Is that really you?" Staring at me is a dark haired guy with grey eyes, similar to Sirius but has a lighter build, paler skin and is a good 5 inches shorter than Sirius. I stare back in shock.

"Reg?"


	8. Chapter 8

I'm frozen. My eyes wide open and my mouth in an "o" shape. Reg just stares back, but manages to come towards me slowly.

"You never were any good with surprises." He says chuckling. I shake my head in shock.

"Reg… what are you doing here? I mean how… " My mind is a complete mess.

"Azzy, I go to school here. Remember I told you in the forest!" He smiles the way he used to, and I smile back. "It's so good to see you!" He pulls me into a hug, and I instantly hug back.

"What happened? Why are you here? When did you get here? How are you here? I mean… I thought-" Reg starts.

"Shit!" I say realising. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit! Oh, I said it out loud. "Astronomy!" I look at Sirius who's looking extremely confused. "We have to get to astronomy, we're going to die!" I say and drag Sirius to the classroom, tossing a lazy hand behind me to Reg.

Damn it. Why does Reg have to be here! We met deep in the forest outside my mum's cottage when I was 13 and he was 11 I think. He was on holiday with his family, and we kept on meeting as we became friends. We were really good friends. He was the first friend I ever had. The bad thing… he knows. He knows I'm a Seer! I have to ask Albus what to do! No one can ever know!

"Az… what's the matter?" Sirius snaps me out of my mind.

"Oh… nothing." I say too quickly, lazily scribbling notes down on Saturn.

"How do you know my brother?" Sirius whispers sounding… odder than usual.

"We met when I was younger." I mutter back. "Sorry Sirius, my minds going crazy right now."

"Professor? I have a bad headache, can I go to see Madam Pomfrey to get a potion?" I ask, raising my hand.

"If you must." He replies carelessly. I stand up, looking worried I know, and leave the room. I turn left instead of right and start to go to Albus- no! I groan out loud. I can't go to Albus, he'll be angry I've in contact with anybody before Hogwarts! Especially as Mum didn't know about Reg! I have to find Reg.

I know he's in Slytherin, common room common room common room. I head to the dungeons and whisper the password and go into the Slytherin common room. It's still lesson time so no one's in here. I head silently up the dorm stairs and go through every room until I find Reg unpacking in a dorm room.

"Reg?" I ask unsurely.

"Azzy! Hey, I was wondering when I was going to… you're a Gryffindor." He states suddenly.

"Yeah, I got sorted a few weeks ago." I reply.

"It's not that. What are you doing in the Slytherin dorms?" He asks, not sure whether to be angry and protective or smirking at me.

"Yeah… you guys really need to learn how to keep your password a secret." I say honestly. He goes for a smirk.

"I never knew you would turn out to be so secretive. Or to be friends with my brother." He says grinning. He starts to come up close to me. "I've missed you." He murmurs his eyes sweeping my body and lingering on my lips. Oh, did I forget to mention? He kissed me the day he left. I pull back slightly and the words come tumbling out.

"I missed you too, but… you know the thing I told you? You know, a few days before you left, did you tell anyone or-" I say quickly.

"Azzy, I haven't told anyone. I promised to you. Remember? Remember those last few days?" He asks, his eyes still on my lips, and I feel them tingle slightly. Yes I remember. But all too well. And now it's coming back to haunt me.

I nod slowly. "Yeah. We need to catch up. Talk. About things. About… stuff. You know what I mean. I have to go to charms now, I'll… see you later." I add quickly, and hurry out of the room.

I don't go to charms. Who could after that? My heart's still racing, my mind's a mess and I can't help but worry about everything. Here are my problems.

Someone in the schools knows. He may be a friend, but he's a Slytherin, and they hate me.

That someone kissed me the last day I saw him and I'm pretty sure he wants us to be together.

That someone's brother is Sirius, and he just gave me the kiss of my life about an hour ago and it was the… most amazing moment of my life.

As I'm supposedly James' girlfriend I'm supposed to be dating 3 guys at once!

I'm not sure whether I like Reg anymore, but I definitely like Sirius… like a lot!

Someone in the school bloody knows!

I really need to stop being such a girl. Two thirds of my problems are about guy relationships. That's just so bloody amazing.

"Hey Azzy, Sirius told us you were feeling sick, what's up?" I look up and see James, Remus and Pete entering my bedroom.

"Um…ur…I…" No! How am I going to tell them? If I tell them I know Reg, they'll know I've kissed a Slytherin who's Sirius' brother and they'll kill me! I put my head in my hands. "I'm just feeling sick. I don't know why. Madam Pomfrey says I just need rest." I lie through my teeth to my best friends. Keep up the good work Az!

"No worries, we'll get you anything you need!" James says, sitting down on my bed.

"And you can borrow my notes for all the lessons." Remus adds.

"Of course, we can't forget the lessons!" James remarks. I smile.

"Thanks guys, I'll be fine. But where's Sirius?" I ask.

"Oh, he went to see his brother Regulus, he arrived a couple of hours ago I think." Pete replies. Oh. I nod slowly.

"He'll probably stop by soon. We'll leave you for some rest. Get better soon!" Remus says, pushing his friends out of the door. Trust Remus to know when to leave.

I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I say weakly, not knowing who it'll be.

"Hey Az." It's Sirius.

"What's up with the knocking?" I ask, trying to act normal. Not going to work with him idiot.

"Az, what's the matter? And what's with knowing Regulus. I talked to him and he said you…" He struggles. "…knew him. Before you came here."

"Sirius, I know I've got a lot of explaining to do. I met Reg in the forest outside home a couple of years ago. He was my first friend and-"

"Do you like him?" He asks interrupting, looking as if he couldn't stop himself. "I have to ask Az." I look at him dumbfounded.

"Please Az… tell me you don't. I can't… I need you." He says urgently, coming up to me on my bed and holding my head in his hands. I'm speechless.

"I don't know." I answer, my voice visibly wobbling. "I know you know he kissed me, but it was my last day of seeing him, we never thought we would see each other again. I don't know if I ever did. But I do care for him. But… Sirius… I know, for sure, 100 %, utterly, completely, and totally… I like you more."

We stay there, our foreheads resting against each other's, for 2 minutes 31 seconds. His eyes staring right back into mine, while I will myself not to look away. Until we kiss. His lips just as soft and warm, but more urgently than before, while I kiss him back, hoping he won't hate me. Please Sirius… don't hate me. I need you. I just need you. There's no other way to describe it. He tugs on my lips and I pull my fingers through his glorious hair, feeling that tingly warmth like butterflies flow through me. I feel the burn on the inside of my mouth, and I press one hand against his chest, memorising his muscles and scrunching his t-shirt up. I feel his soft moans through his throat and I just continue kissing him. It's like a new thing, that I've never felt like before. He pulls me down until we're lying down on my bed, and I feel my eyes water under my closed eyelids. And I know it now. The new thing, that I've never felt before… it's him. I love him. I love him. I love him. As he pulls away for a seconds I feel the words tug on my lips, but I can't bring the words forwards on my own.

"I love you." The words moan through him and I feel his ragged breath from the words come to my lips. He loves me.

"I love you more." I whisper back, and I pull him closer with all my strength, and he falls next to me onto my bed, and I rest my head on his chest, as he puts feather light kisses in my hair.

"I love you." He says again into my hair, holding me tight against him.

"But I love you more." I say again, a smile on my face as a tear rolls down my cheek.

He flicks it away with his finger and kisses me again, and I feel waves of happiness coarse through me.

"I love you Az, so you don't need to tell me." He says.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Your secret. The one you're worried about. You can tell me whenever you're ready. I will wait forever. I can't believe the fact I love you only dawned on me a couple of days ago." I smile at his compassion.

"I can't believe it dawned on me a couple of- no 4 minutes 49 seconds ago." I reply smiling.

"What, you didn't lose your mind this time?" He asks chuckling.

"Of course I did, but how could I lose what was really counting?" I reply grinning.

"Noooooo." I groan, realising what I just said.

"What?" Sirius asks confused.

"Sirius, help me please!" I say, scrunching his t-shirt up in my fists. "Please help me Sirius! Please! I'm turning into a girl!" I wail at him. And he just chuckles at me.

"Correct, but soon you'll be my girl after project FATE rolls over." He replies leaning in to kiss me again.

"I KNEW IT!" We jump apart as we hear a loud shout from the door.

"Be quiet James!" We here an oddly familiar voice.

"Yeah, they'll hear us!" We here Pete's voice in the mix.

"They already have Pete." We hear Remus' voice again.

"Jeez… marauders sure know how to be secretive." I say aloud, not sure whether it was sarcastic or not.

"But I so knew you two would get together! When did you kiss her Sirius?" James says, bounding into the room slapping a hand on Sirius' back. Sirius smirks at me and replies:

"Let's just say, we were half an hour late for Astronomy." I glare at him. Then he adds- "She lost track of time. We kissed for-"

"Sirius Black!" I shout at him, quickly casting a muffuliato at the door. "If you say one more word I'll-"

"She won't come up with anything good-" Sirius interrupts my rage. Damn him. I have nothing to say. Come on Azzy1 Think of something good! He's so irritating!

"-kiss your brother." I finish.

He stares at me in shock. If I weren't me. I would do the same. Unfortunately for me I'm too stubborn.

"That, was uncalled for." Sirius says, breaking the silence through the room. James, Remus and Pete just stand there completely confused.

"Perhaps, but boasting about me like a trophy, just like all your other girlfriends, was also uncalled for." I say, determined not to back down. It was what I was afraid of… being like the rest of them to him.

"I don't-" He stopped mid-sentence. He does the idiot. "You're not "all my other girlfriends", you know that, I just told you I bloody love you and you pay me back with that." He exclaims angrily.

"If you remember correctly, I said I loved you more. I don't expect to be paid back like that either." I reply, mentally taking a deep breath. "And we need to talk about it anyway." I add maturely.

"Can't you just not talk to him? Just ignore him!" Sirius replied as our friends look around in confusion and worry.

"That's a childish answer." I snap. "And he's my friend, I couldn't do that."

"Maybe it's childish, but I don't want you anywhere near him." He replies stubbornly.

"What if I just tell him I don't like him that way. Just as a friend. Like Remus, James or Pete!" I reply tactically.

"Az, no one knows my brother better than I do. He won't let you go. But if you can get him to agree to it and I'm satisfied, fine." Sirius replies after a second of thinking, then storms out of the room, leaving me with a confused James, Pete and Remus.

"Don't look at me, you can go to him for answers, I've got enough on my plate." I say irritated, though I know I'm being mean. Must be the hormones speaking. It would make sense. They hurry after Sirius and I lock the door behind them.

After going to the kitchens for food instead of going to dinner, I take a well needed shower, and wash my hair. I blow dry it straight, and put it into a braided bun, and do the usual make up. I put on a mulberry lipstick for edge, and put on my zip jeans and a deep scarlett loose crop top, leaving an inch of bare stomach above my jeans. I slip on my boots, and walk swiftly out the door, and head immediately for the boys dorm.

"Hi, thanks." I say quickly as I power walk into their dorm, not making eye contact with James, Remus, Pete, Dan, Thomas, and definitely not Sirius. I go straight to James' bed and grab his invisibility cloak from his bedside table, pull it round me swiftly, and walk out the door ignoring their outraged faces. They were going to have to wait. I have more important things to deal with. Specifically Regulus Black.

"Cobra." I mutter, and walk straight through the dungeons not bothering to be more secretive as the various Slytherins wonder what opened the door. I walk straight up the same stairs as before, sliding past Slytherins on the stairway, and go into Regulus' dorm.

"Venice was great, my parents bought me a new broom." I hear Reg's voice as I walk in, hidden by James' cloak. Damn he's got company.

I really can't be bothered to do something fancy. I cast a spell turning their hair bright orange, and watch Reg's face go into confusion as he sees his friends' hair change colour. The Slytherins, who I really couldn't care less about their names, realise and run to the common room looking for the culprit. I shut the door behind them and tug the cloak off me.

"Azzy! Merlin's beard, did you have to turn my friends' hair orange?" He asks exasperated.

"Reg, I don't like to waste time." I cast a silencing charm and lock the door then turn to him. "I don't know how to put this, and I know you're expecting things from me, but-"

"Azzy… you don't need to say anything." He says, wrapping me in a hug. "I completely understand."

"You do?" I answer, trying not to show the complete surprise in my voice.

"Of course." He says, and cups my cheek. "Azzy, though I only knew you for a few weeks, I feel like I've known you forever. You know things about me no one else knows. You've made me feel… safe. I know you'll never tell anyone about my secrets.

"It's just-" He cuts me off with a kiss. On the lips. His lips are rough, and chapped, with a certain kind of… snaky-ness to them. Wait what?! Why is he kissing me? This is a disaster, I came here to tell him I'm with Sirius, and that we can't be together, and that I love Sirius and that- oh this has gone so wrong! How can so many terrible and great things happen in one bloody day! Is the world determined to make my life terrible? Please, someone tell me what I did wrong! Just before I can break away he pulls off, and puts his forehead on mine.

"Azzy, you're a Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin, neither of our houses would appreciate our relationship. This can be our secret. We'll meet all the time. All you need to do is stay away from the Gryffindors… don't get close to any of them. Gryffindors may be brave… if that's what they are… but they are definitely not truthful. I know first-hand. They're all traitors. Full of betrayal. Do this one thing for me… and my lips won't accidently mutter anything about us."

Please Review!


	9. Chapter 9

I hurry back to my room and lock the door behind me. Why was Reg like that? What was he doing? And what did he mean? No… Sirius is going to kill me. But Reg said to stay away from them… or he'd tell someone about…us. Or does he mean me? I scrunch my hands into fists and punch my desk instinctively. I recoil and shake my hands out, swearing at the pain.

"Damn it… stupid table."

I have a long shower, before putting on my pyjamas; I curl up in bed and try to get some sleep. It doesn't work. All I can think about is what to do, and what's the best solution. While muddled in my thoughts I hear a quiet creek, and look towards my door, and a yellow light creeps through the key whole, and I notice the affects of alohamora.

The door finally opens, and Sirius stands with his wand out. I look out to him, and he comes in and slides into my bed next to me.

"Siriu-" He puts a finger over my lips and curls around me, putting his arms around me. I snuggle up close to him, feeling his warmth, as I tingle slightly where he touches me. I sniff in his scent, and smile at the familiarity. I fell asleep in minutes after he came, and I'm sure he did too.

My eyes open at 6 like usual, but I don't move for a few minutes, just taking in the comfort of Sirius. I slowly turn round in his arms, and start kissing his nose to wake him.

"Sirius… wake up." I murmur. He groans as expected, and he squints his eyes open.

"What time is it?" He groans.

"six in the morning." I tell him, and he groans again.

"I have to shower-" I say, getting up but he pulls me back into the bed and mumbles:

"You showered yesterday evening, you can stay with me now."

"How do you know I showered yesterday?" I ask smirking.

"You always smell of fresh apples when you do." He mutters, embarrassed. I smile at him and kiss his cheek.

"Listen… I tried talking to Regulus… but he kept interrupting, and won't listen. He's determined to… be with me." I say, cringing as I say the words and see a dark look on Sirius' face. "I'm sorry I shouted at you yesterday."

"I'm sorry too… I'll have a word with my brother." He says strongly.

"Sirius, you can't, the whole school will find out that we're together, and rumours will spread about me cheating on James and…" I say, a worried look on my face. "Just give me time. I'll tell him I don't want to be with him, it'll get there."

"Okay. I love you." He says, pecking me.

"I love you more." I say, kissing him back as I feel the familiar tingle from his lips. After a while he's on top of me, with his hands fingering the skin on my stomach, as I play with his hair. I really love his hair… it's so perfect. Most girls would die to have it, even if it's short. I roll him over so I'm on top, break away and kiss him on the nose.

He moans when I start to get of him.

"Come back!" He moans, swiping his hands to get me.

"Sirius, we have something called lessons. And breakfast. And now it's… Jesus it's 10 to 7!" I shout, and rush in to the bathroom and rush to do the usual stuff, and quickly braid my hair while I see Sirius rolling out of bed and yawning widely. I quickly grab my school uniform, suddenly racing against time. I quickly pull it on and I suddenly realise I just got changed in front of Sirius. Not, completely… but he saw me in my underwear. I guess I've seen him in his but…

"What's the matter Az? Realised I just got to see a whole lot more of you than I usually do?" He says, and I can hear the smirk in his voice as I turn around.

He walks up to me as I look at the floor. He tips my chin up and looks me in the eyes, as I struggle to look away.

"You're perfect. I can't wait to start seeing that more-"

"Sirius…!" I warned. "Not a word to anyone. Not even James! Not a single word!"

"Don't worry… I wouldn't want to share this." He says, hugging me while kissing my hair.

"Yeah, well now it's 7:30, and you're still not dressed, you haven't even gone back to your dorm!" I snap at him, trying not to marvel at him.

"Hey, you've made me organised, I brought my school robes with me." He says, pointing to under my bed.

"I'm impressed…" I say, pecking him once more. "But I'm not waiting for you." I say, turning on my heel.

"Don't you want to share the same experience I did?" He asks smirking. I continue walking out until-

"Anyway, I have this, so…" I turn around and see him holding my necklace.

"Sirius! Give it back!" I moan, as he puts it around his neck and starts to undress. He takes his jersey off and I avert my eyes. He chuckles.

"At this rate you'll never get your necklace back…" I turn to glare at him and realise I've looked. His toned chest dazzles me, and I try to look away again, but my eyes stop when they meet the shiny scars, and all I can do is frown sadly.

"Sirius…" I murmur, walking up to him and examining his scars. His grin leaves his face and he tips my chin up like he always does.

"Don't worry about it Az." He says, not letting me linger as he pulls his shirt and tie on quickly, and leads me to the door. "Here." He says, and puts my necklace back around my neck, and places a chaste kiss in my hair, before we leave my room.

"Hey Guys." I mutter as I reach the Gryffindor table, with Sirius not far behind.

"Why hello my dear girlfriend." James replies, slinging his arm round me, with more emphasis than usual as he smirks at Sirius. Sirius grits his teeth back, while James whispers in my ear. "Don't worry, I won't do anything rash, Sirius will kill me and probably kill the whole operation."

"Of course he will." I reply, rolling my eyes.

"So… Sirius… where were you this morning? Actually, where were you at midnight as well, I don't think I saw you in your bed…" James says smirking, and I feel my cheeks tinge while Sirius just continues stuffing his face, but with an extremely satisfied smirk plastered on his face, and I scowl at him. Meanwhile, James, Pete and Remus are all looking at Sirius expectantly.

"Don't worry James, Rem, Pete, I was still in A bed-" I kick him hard under the table, and he grimaces, while shooting me a look of annoyance while our friends all smirk at both him and me.

"Sirius? Remember what I was telling you this morning?" I say through clenched teeth.

"I don't think I do Azzy… but I do remember seeing yo-" I kick him harder under the table and he yelps out in pain, gaining a few looks from those around us. "Actually… I remember now." Sirius replies as our friends are pretty much collapsing with laughter. I roll my eyes.

"Grow up!" I scowl at them, and stand up having eaten all I want to and I exit the hall as calmly as possible while feeling like my eyes could literally make any object burst into flames.

I hurry to get to class on my own, and wait for at least 15 minutes before other people start arriving. I sit down only to be joined by Remus, who I have to say I was more than glad it was him and not any of the others.

"Thank you for sitting next to me Rem." I tell him, and he smiles back at me.

"Your welcome, Sirius and James can certainly be… I can't think of the word…" He says.

"Obnoxious? Juvenile? Idiotic? Irritating?" I give him a list of words.

"I guess they all fit in the right category!" Rem replies, and we smile together.

"I've been finishing of details for project animal." He whispers to me as we're scribbling down the answers on the first wands made.

"And, when do we plan on taking it through? I have pretty much all the information on the ceremony, so…" I reply, keeping my voice low.

"I was thinking either this week or next week. I don't see any more reasons to wait." Rem answers.

"I agree… how about the day after next? Or even tomorrow?! I believe James, Sirius and Pete have already thought about which animal they may transform into… but I'm a bit stumped. I want something fierce, yet something beautiful, but it also needs to reflect myself. But then, I don't get to choose, but it will be my inner animal self…"

"Hmm… well, you're quite good at blending into the crowd… perhaps a chameleon, or something with a camouflaged fur or skin or feathers or whatever." Rem suggests, and I ponder on my thoughts. I'd love to be able to fly, but I always have a broom for that. Something unique would be great… but I don't want people to notice me in the woods, so something that could change colour would be amazing… oh! I can imagine a lightbulb floating over my head. That may be it!

"I need to go to the library after lessons… I think I've found my beast." I say to Remus, and he raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"You going to tell me?" He asks smiling at what he thinks I've come up with.

"Not yet… I'm still not sure whether it'll be possible… I mean it's extremely rare…" I say, blabbering on about details of my beast, yet not revealing any specific qualities. I leave the classroom at the end of the lesson grinning, and marvel at my choice of beast.

Towards the end of the day I drag myself into the common room, tired from studying.

"Hey Azzy." Remus says greeting me as I slump onto the sofa shrugging into James' arm, whilst resting my feet on Sirius' lap as usual.

"Hey… have you guys finished that History essay yet?" I ask.

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

Four voices come out at once, and I try to figure out who's done it and who hasn't. I turns out Remus (obviously) and James have done it, while Pete and Sirius haven't.

"Well done James, I'm proud of you!" I tell him, my eyebrows raising as I realised he had actually done homework the night it was set. I kiss him on the cheek slowly, and I feel Sirius' grip tighten on my lower legs. I pull away, sending Sirius an apologetic glance, while turning my attention back to the book James was reading.

"Did Remus tell you anymore final details on Project Animal?" I whisper to James as I watch his eyes scan the lines of the book, as he doesn't bother to read every word.

"Yeah, he said 1 am tomorrow night, up the astronomy tower." He whispers back.

"So you think you're going to become a stag?" I whisper, and he gives me the slightest of nods.

"It's such a majestic proud animal… perfect for you." I tell him quietly, and he smiles as I ruffle his hair.

"Um… hi Sirius." We all look up and see Kitty Wills slowly walking up to Sirius. I remember when Sirius dumped her the day after the fate in the common room. Personally hilarious, though apparently she was saying dirty things about him behind his back that weren't true. I set my face in a glare at her. What? She was fricking annoying when they were together, and now he's my boyfriend, so I don't want her anywhere near him!

"I'm sorry about… the things I told other people about you. I'm also sorry for all the things I did… wrong in our relationship." She admits shyly.

"It's fine, forget it." Sirius replies carelessly.

"Really?" Her eyes light up and I tense slightly, even though I feel James' hand firm on my arm. Sirius waves his hand to her in reply, and she smiles.

"Well, thanks, and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime… you know… to get to know each other again." She says smiling confidently.

I feel James, Remus and Pete all shift their eyes to me as I tense completely. "getting to know each other", literally means make out. I try not to ball my hands up into fists, and I know my heel is digging into Sirius' stomach.

"Sorry Kitty, not interested." Sirius answers in the same careless manner. Her face falls.

"But, I thought you didn't mind all the wrong things I did, to forget it!" She insists, obviously pushing him to say yes in front of his friends.

He sighs and starts to massage my foot that was digging into his stomach.

"Look Kitty, you did nothing "wrong", I just don't like you." He says bluntly.

"Don't…like…me?" She stutters blankly.

"Yep, you're too girly, you all sappy and cheesy, you always want to hold hands and go on romantic dates… not my thing. I like the relaxed, carefree, risk-taking type. Someone who's interesting, not the straight forward, worrying teenage girl." He scoffs at her. If this was before we got together, before I realised my feelings for him, I probably would've scolded him for being that harsh. Now… who the hell cares she deserves it.

"Now, do you mind leaving us, you're kind of distracting, not in a good way." He says, turning back to the book he was reading like the rest of us. We all begin reading again and I can feel her standing there awkwardly, her annoying heart slowly shattering into pieces. I don't usually use abbreviations like this, but who the hell cares. LOL.

After a nice night of reading, I return to my room, showering and getting into bed. I can't help but feel slightly lonely after my night with Sirius, but I curl up into bed and ready myself for my eyes to flicker close. Tomorrow night I would become an animagus. An illegal one be it, but still an animagus. Then, I would go and talk to Regulus. I honestly have no idea what I'm going to say with it, and I know I'm not good with no preparation, but this is Regulus. I know, even if I prepare something, it'll be just as hard to first break it to him, and try to keep him as a friend while it happens.

I wake up in the morning and dress in my navy jeans and a black crop top with a navy shirt after remembering it's Saturday. I stretch myself out then go for a quick refresh spray, tinted moisturizer, soft pencil eyeliner mascara and some shaded lip balm. It was a new find in my everyday catalogue, and it just makes my lips a shade or two darker. I slip on my navy suede heeled lace-up boots to go with my outfit and walk out of my room satisfied and head straight to the Great hall for food.

I sit down on my own in the room only a quarter full and start to eat some toast as the boys walk in looking tired as usual.

"What were you up doing this time then?" I ask sarcastically.

"Making a few adjustments to Project Animal, then trying to figure out what you're turning into." Pete answers immediately.

"I'll tell you tonight, just not now. It's a secret." I say, winking. As I wink I see Regulus over Remus' shoulder and I quickly face my plate of food.

Sirius, being next to me catches my drift and finds Regulus in my old gaze.

"Have you…" He starts, looking at me for permission to start a conversation on it.

"I was thinking tomorrow, as Sunday's his favourite day." I tell him, nodding my head thanking him for asking before going a head in a conversation. He really is getting mature.

"Hm. You remember that from years ago?" He asks raising his eyebrows. There's the childish Sirius I know. I glance at him and roll my eyes.

A few hour later James, Sirius and I find ourselves at a brutal quidditch practice with the rain pelting down and the gusts of wind threatening to push us off our brooms.

"Leo! You're crazy!" Marie shouts to him through the harsh weather.

"Nah, what if the weather's like this when we play Slytherin next?" Leo replies stubbornly.

"He's right! We have no idea what the weather's going to be like!" I agree with Leo.

"Yeah, and we're NOT losing to Slytherin!" James adds.

"Definitely not!" Sirius adds.

We're doing some beater practice in dodging the bludgers, after what happened last time. Leo and Sirius are hurling well-aimed bludgers at the rest of us randomly, and we're all attempting to dodge out of the way while passing the quaffle round each other.

"Heads up Chris!" I shout as I see a bludger heading his way from Sirius. He dodges swiftly after my shout, and I pass the quaffle to him.

"No helping each other!" Sirius shouts, annoyed his bludger didn't hit his target.

"Hey! It would've been the same situation in a game!" I said back to him, as I jumped of my broom allowing Leo's bludger to pass under me above my broom while catching Onyx's throw.

"Show-off!" Sirius yells at me, and I smirk. In response he flies up and sends two bludgers directly at me in sucession and I easily dodge the first bludger but merely skim past the next. I glare at him and fly over near him and as I hear Leo's bludger soaring towards me I ascend quickly to James giving Sirius a tight hit as he only just manages to hit the bludger away, but shows his skill as he hits it directly towards Chris.

"You shouldn't tease him so much." James whispers to me, though still grinning.

"Where would the fun in that be?" I ask him and he shoots towards me and rolls both of us to the side in a flash. I realise a bludger had nearly hit me.

"Thank you." I say dearly, and kiss him on the cheek and dart back to the centre of the pitch.

"No kissing on the pitch!" Leo yells at me and James, and I smile while sending Sirius an "I hope you understand" look. He nods and we continue practice.

"That really wore me out… who knew my arm could get so ache-y." Sirius moans as we slump into the common room at 5 pm.

"Sirius, we were practising for 4 hours straight, and under Leo's orders, of course it was tiring." James tells him, lying down on the sofa. I curl up at the crook of his knee and Sirius sits at the other end, fiddling with the edge of my socks.

"Yeah, I'm all for practising in crazy conditions, but dodging bludgers, throwing the quaffle, and under Leo's orders… if the next match weren't against Slytherin he'd be in the hospital wing right now." I say, closing my eyes for some relaxation. "I'm going to take a quick nap before dinner so I'll be awake for tonight."

After waking up at 8 and finding James and Sirius gone, most likely to get food I go to the kitchens and eat some delicious finger food then go to my room to have my second shower today after my one after quidditch. Seriously, after that practice, 50 showers wouldn't be enough. I drag myself out after a good half an hour I dress in a careless black button-up shirt and some lazy tracksuits.

_I'm somewhere high… looking down while the rain pours around me. My head is pounding, my heart stuttering, my breathing ragged. I can feel the bags under my eyes, pulling me down, and the slump of my showders making me feel like I could collapse any second. I'm not afraid of heights, I never have been… but this is… crazy. A hundredth of the drop would still cause certain death. I can't control my limbs. I take a few steps back unknowingly then run and-_

I squint my eyes and find myself on my bed, sweating heavily, and in a state of shock. Just a nightmare… I don't even remember falling asleep. That wasn't a fore dream… of course not. Nothing like that would ever happen. It's quarter to twelve. I pull on my long cloak, pull the hood over my head and climb on my broom, opening the window. The skies have cleared since the quidditch practice, and I slide out onto my broom and enjoy the smooth ride up to the astronomy tower.

"Hey Az!" Sirius says as I slide off my broom and lay it next to the others.

"Hey, do you have the poem?" I ask and he nods.

"So… when do we start?" Pete asks timidly.

"Who wants to go first?" I ask. They all look at me expectantly. I raise my eyebrows.

"You are the one who's been researching most of your life… and you've known one." Sirius says.

"Okay then…" I say aimlessly, sighing out. "Give Remus the poem."

I stand on the centre of the top of the astronomy tower, as Remus begins to recite the poem from the book. I block all noise out, scrunch my eyes shut and clearly think of myself transforming. I picture in my mind my mother changing into a swan. Over and over again. _Transform. Become an animagus. _I think clearly in my head. I feel the tingling in my fingertips start to spread all over me. I keep repeating the words and remembering the images in my head. The tingling reaches my heart and… I feel myself start to shrink. It's painful… enough to make m shout out, though my voice isn't heard. Even though my eyes are closed, I can see light appearing around me. I feel my hands touch the ground and an odd disorientating feeling goes around me. When it stops, I open my eyes. I was right.

Please Review!


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I've been in Maritius for 2 and a half weeks with NO WI-FI I haven't been off the internet since I got back! Anyway, read and enjoy!**

Remus, Sirius, James and Pete are all staring at me. I open my mouth and an intense growl comes out.

"What is she?" I hear Pete ask, and I'm proud that Remus knows.

"She's a serpa leopard. A magical creature… a lot like the snow leopard, but her fur has special cells that change colour at will. She's the magical version of the chameleon." Rem says eyes wide. I look up at him and bound of towards him, though feeling weird on four legs. I end up rolling around on the floor, trying to balance, and then I find a swishing thing come out underneath me. My tail. I grab for it instinctively, and then go up to lick James' face. He strokes my fur along with Sirius, and I smile. Though I'm not sure what a smile looks like on a leopard.

"Are you going to change back now?" Rem asks me. I nod and pur. I go back to the centre of the floor and think as clearly as I did before. _Be Azalea. Be Azalea. _I feel the same tingly feeling as before, and I feel like I'm being torn apart with that same pain. When I open my eyes I'm lying on the floor with a grimace on my face.

"Az! You did it!" Pete says as he sees me reappear on the floor.

"Az? Are you all right?" I hear Sirius' voice and nod slowly. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Sirius. Though I'm glad it gets easier over time cos that was quite painful."

"How painful?" James asks me, helping me up with Sirius.

"Not scream out in pain painful… nothing physical… just feels like you're being torn apart. It just creeps up on you that's all."

"I'll go next." James says as I catch my breath.

"James, block out everything Rem is saying, and picture me transforming in your head. Keep saying transform mentally, and you'll get there. No matter what you feel, keep your concentration, if you lose it, everything will go wrong." I tell him seriously.

"Keep concentration. Right." He says bravely.

"Once you've transformed I'll give you instructions on how to change back." I say, giving him a reassuring smile.

I listen to Rem chanting the poem as James closes his eyes and has a look of concentration on his face. After half a minute the same white light surrounds him and his form starts to change. Into a stag. The light disappears and he stands proud on the centre of the floor, his antlers tall.

"Yay! Way to go James!" I say, walking up to him to stroke him. He welcomes my touch and bows majestically.

"Nice going Prongs!" Sirius says walking up behind me.

"Hey… Prongs." Pete agrees coming up as well. We laugh as James jumps up on his hind legs and snorts.

"James, All you need to do now is think, be James. Do exactly what you did before, but imagine yourself human." I tell him in the same manner as before. We all take a few steps back and the same process happens as before, the white light blinding as James reappears with a frown similar to mine.

"You were right… it hurts, but not in a physical way." James says to me seriously.

"Well, you both did amazingly, only Sirius and Pete left." Rem says. We all look at Pete worryingly. If anyone was going to fail this… it would be him. For one his self-esteem levels are super low. Two, the rest of us are generally more… well roundly talented.

"Sirius, why don't you go next." I say, and take a few steps back. This was going to work. We would all get through this.

I smile as I see Pete reappear as his usual self.

"We all did it!" I say grinning wildly.

"Group hug!" James yells and we crash together in the middle of the tower.

"I can't believe I did it! I just can't believe it!" Pete says, in complete disbelief as we hug him tight.

"Of course you did!" I say appreciatively.

"Now, in a couple days' time, we'll all be prancing around under the full moon." James says happily.

"About that… guys I appreciate it and all… but I don't want you risking your lives for me. What if I lose control?" Remus says nervously.

"Then we'll help you get it back!" I say, not taking no for an answer.

"Yeah, and we've put all this hard work in… now you're trying to convince us we're not allowed to use our awesome talent?" Sirius says, raising an eyebrow as he does.

"Oh guys… don't try to transform too much. Take it easy, no more than once a day for now. If you do it too much, there's more of a chance of it going wrong, and the process getting mixed up. I don't actually know what happens, but I know it's disorientating and pretty much unfixable." I say seriously. "And I'm talking mostly to you and James Sirius." I add, as I see him giving James a rebellious look.

"…Me? Az beautiful, I would never disobey you! Or do anything that would make me look ugly." He says, pecking me on the nose. I roll my eyes at him but kiss him on the cheek then turn away.

"Oh, and no one get caught. If anyone gets seen transforming… we may all just get into some terrible punishment, probably go to jail, and even worse, get expelled." Remus says the words as though it's a curse, and I laugh.

"Rem, we'll all be careful. I'm going back to my room now cos I, would like some sleep." I fling a hand over my shoulder to say bye, and I mount my broom.

"Are you sure you don't want Sirius to come with you-" James starts and I interrupt.

"James! I prefer having the whole space of my bed." I say, glaring at him.

"What about the warmth? Don't you get cold without me?" Sirius asks mockingly, and I give him a look, then fly away.

I wake up at six as usual, again despite the late night. I take a small sip of wake up potion, then put on a baggy grey t-shirt that slips over my shoulders and a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans. I brush my hair but leave it down, dead straight, then pull my boots on. I don't bother for any make-up apart from pencil eyeliner on my upper lash line and lower waterline, keeping it soft as usual with no flick. I end up standing in the middle of my room, trying to figure out what I should do today. All my homework's done, we had that brutal quidditch practice yesterday, so it'll probably just be hanging out with the rest of the marauders.

Knowing they won't be up yet… why don't I try transforming again? No one's going to come in without knocking, I can take my time, plus I'll be able to see what I look like in the mirror. I scrunch my eyes shut like I did last night, and remember the ceremony. I remember being in my animagus form. The white light dawns around me, and that same disorientating feeling comes over me and the feeling of being torn apart comes with it. This time, it's not so bad, and I can bare it enough to keep my eyes open, focussed on the mirror. I watch as I slowly shrink, start growing fur, and a tail pops out from behind. And then before me in the mirror stands a fully grown leopard, staring right back at me.

I smile at the success of the transformation, and I examine myself in the mirror. Suddenly I catch sight of my scarlet bed-sheets behind me, and then I disappear in the mirror. Where am I? I look closer and see myself, my fur the exact same colour as the bed-sheets, thought dark marks from the leopard spots still appearing vaguely. I grin then change back, literally by thinking it. _This is great! _I start changing into colours that aren't even around me, and I try out all different sorts of colours. Mint green, indigo blue, rose pink! I settle on my favourite two being white, identical to a snow-leopard and navy, which at the moment is my favourite colour.

After a while I start to change back, and it surprises me at how natural transforming is starting to eel. The pain is still there, but it's lessened, so it just gives me the amount of pain falling over on hard gravel, cutting my knees would like I did when I was a kid. As I look at myself in the mirror, I notice something. My animagus form had the same soft black line on its lower waterline- my eyeliner mark! I scramble to put my boots on and run up the stairs two steps at a time, and fling the boys door open.

"Hey!" There are numerous shouts, and I remember they aren't the only ones in their dorm. Dan and Thomas are still in there, luckily both fully dressed and looking like they were just about to leave, but Pete I'm guessing is in the bathroom, Remus is definitely already up, but James and Sirius are half-changed.

"Some privacy here!" James shouted.

"Yeah, we could've all been naked!" Sirius agrees.

"Exactly!" Thomas says.

"And girls aren't allowed in here!" Dan adds.

"Oh please, I've been in here loads of times, you two just weren't. And James, Sirius, I was up and dressed at least 45 minutes ago and by that I mean 48 minutes ago so you should just get up earlier. And Remus is already up!" I scold, rolling my eyes while walking into the room, sitting down on James' bed as he pulls his shirt over his head.

"You've been in here before?" Thomas says in disbelief.

"At least 5 times. And by that I mean 7 times." I say silently smirking.

"Why?" Dan asks.

"Do I need a reason to come see my boyfriend and best friends?" I ask , as Sirius gives me a smirk knowing I meant him, even though they thought I meant James being my boyfriend.

"Gross… no more information, we're leaving." They say, and start walking down the spiral stairs.

"Why good morning my early-rising girlfriend!" Sirius says, coming up to me still shirtless and pecking me on the lips.

"Good morning, as I said I've been up for 49 minutes now and I transformed again." I say, after closing the door and locking it.

"Anything happen?" James asks.

"I tried out changing colour- which is awesome by the way - and I realised my serpa leopard form had the same eyeliner mark as me. Instead of a pinkish waterline, it had a soft black line on it." I inform them, and Pete comes out of the bathroom dressed.

"Really? So there are visual resemblances between the animagus and the human?" Pete asks interested.

"Yeah, I'd read about it in a book, but normally it's something like a scar, or glasses markings." I say, hesitating slightly as I say scar. Luckily Sirius misses it, though my thoughts are momentarily poisoned by the image of his damaged chest. "I never thought it could be something so subtle. Oh, and the transforming got slightly less painful. You guys should try it out in a bathroom sometime today. But only once!" I say warningly, the words rushing out.

"That's great! And we already know about the lessening pain thing…" Sirius replies to me and I look at him sharply. Damn it. I sigh.

"You transformed again after I left last night didn't you." I sigh, speaking to no one in particular. They all look around sheepishly.

"I'm hungry." James says, changing the subject.

"Yeah, so am I!" Pete catches on.

"Yeah, let's go down to breakfast now!" Sirius says, and James puts his arm around my shoulders, which was the only thing Sirius was completely fine with since we all do it anyway.

"So what are we going to do today?" I ask as we walk back to the common room.

"I dunno. We could plan a prank, our last one was two weeks ago… though it was pretty big we could do one a little downscaled?!" James suggests.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun to me." Sirius agrees, high-fiving James.

"I still have to do some homework." Remus says and I look at him in disbelief.

"Remus, you' e already done an extra inch on Professor Slughorn's essay! Do you want to get re-invited to the slug club?" I ask sarcastically.

"I just don't think it has all the important information about long-brewing potions on it!" He argues back, and we laugh at him.

"So Remus is out. Pete? Az?" Sirius asks.

"Professor Dumbledore gave me extra work on transfiguring the perfume bottle." He mumbles miserably.

"I'm in!" I say. "Come to my room we can plan there."

"Obviously." James remarks grinning at me.

"This time it's personal." Sirius says as soon as I lock the door.

"Definitely." James agrees.

"Personal to who?" I ask, wondering.

"Snivellus." Sirius says immediately. " Or my brother."

"I'd go for Snivellus, I don't have much against Regulus." James says shrugging.

"Do we need to?" I ask. "Snape hasn't actually done anything to us lately."

"Do we need a reason to prank him?" James asks me in disbelief.

"Yeah, and I never got him back for ruining my physique." Sirius agrees.

Thoughts tumble through my head. Were they being mean to him? I know they have a grudge but... this is pretty bad. Do they need to humiliate them once a month? I guess this time is okay. I mean, Sirius will never look the same.

"So, ideas?" I ask randomly. " You can't keep relying on me, and I'm empty."

"I think something classic this time, we've gone off our usual streak." James wonders allowed.

"Why don't we put a bucket of butobuter pus on top of their dorm door?" Sirius says, grinning. "I want to mark him back." He growls.

"If you wanted to get one over instead of just equal it, why not charming it in the great hall to drop onto him." I suggest, throwing being nice to Snape out the window.

"Perfect!" Sirius replies to me, grinning.

"We can do it at dinner, and just wingardium leviosa it up and shift it slightly to get it to fall on Snivellus." James says.

"I can put a dissilussion charm on it so it blends in. And take it off as it hits Snivellus." I say, knowing people would've noticed it.

"And I'll aim it and make it fall." Sirius says smirking. "I want to do the damage."

"Newest prank operation PUS planned and ready." James exclaims smiling.

"I love having you as my girlfriend!" Sirius says, grabbing me and pulling me into a kiss, lasting 9 seconds.

"Mate, that's disgusting." James says though grinning.

"Hey, I had to watch all 9 minutes 50 seconds of-" Sirius replies.

"8 minutes 57 seconds." I supply him.

"8 minutes 57 seconds of the snog you gave her in Madame Puddifoots! That was torturous!" He argues and James smiles sheepishly.

"Go idiots, I'm going to get changed!" I say shooing them out my room.

I come out soon in a dark scarlet knitted jumper and some black jeans. The jumper is one of my only items of clothing representing my esteemed house. Though I probably shouldn't call it esteemed… I guess it's not exactly the correct word to describe it. I get to the common room and when I notice James and Sirius are nowhere to be found, I remember they're getting the butobuter pus and the bucket for the prank. So, I walk pass the glances I get from the other Gryffindors, and head for the great hall.

I'm sitting at the almost empty table reading my charms textbook, waiting for James and Sirius to arrive.

"Hey." I look up and James stands there with his right hand in an awkward position, with Sirius standing behind him. They sit down opposite me, and I give them a questioning look. James leans in to give me a peck on the cheek but whispers in my ear despite the almost deserted hall.

"Under the invisibility cloak, I'm holding it." He mutters quickly.

"Take the cloak off a side so I can put the disillusion charm on it." I say, and I reach down under the table and pretend to have a shoelace to tie. Instead, I take my wand out of my right boot and tap the bucket and mutter the words as fast as I can. Soon I'm back up and nodding slowly.

"Look for the shimmer if you lose sight of it." Sirius says.

"And I know you won't drop it James, but don't drop it James." I add, smiling at my friend's talent.

"Wingardium Leviosa." He says calmly, and Sirius moves to cover the other students view of him as he lifts the bucket slowly to the top of the large doors of the great hall. I try to look like I'm reading my book as I glance every other seconds at the shimmer against the walls and background. I smile as I see it stop on top of the door, and stay there obviously balancing.

"Sirius, I'll take the charm off halfway towards Snape's head. Hopefully nothing weird will happen since it'll have two different charms on it." I say, frowning slightly.

"Stay tuned then." Sirius says.

"Snape always comes to the hall nearly last. So everyone will be here to see it." James says smiling.

"Sirius be discreet casting the charm, we don't want anyone getting suspicious as we are the only ones ever pranking Snivellus." I say, not wanting to get a detention as always.

"What have you guys planned then?" Remus asks as he sits down next to me.

"Oh, what do you mean Rem? We would never wish any misfortune on anyone!" I say innocently, and he raises his eyebrows.

"You're right it's a terrible act." I say scowling.

"And you'll see. Soon." James says wickedly.

"Yeah, you'll…see…" Sirius' voice blurs before me and I see a flash of grey eyes staring hard at me, and then they disappear. I put my head down. My first vision. Well, my first vision I've had that wasn't a nightmare or a bad dream.

"He's coming." Sirius mutters, and I turn to the door and see Snape entering with some Slytherins. Sirius takes his wand out quickly and we wait till Snape is a few metres away from the door. And I recognise someone. It's Regulus, walking next to Snape, chatting with him unknowingly. I look to Sirius and I see his discreet grin as he mutters the words. Do I feel guilty? I guess not. I see the shimmer fall, and I mutter the counter-charm and the bucket appears. I see the bright green goo start to splash out, and I see it fall all over Snape. And Regulus.

A shout comes from the doors and laughter bursts out throughout the hall. Gryffindors at first, then Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, then even some Slytherins. I bite my lip but the laughter rises in my throat, and I can't stop myself from laughing endlessly. Snape has a look of utmost outrage plastered on him, and he's scraping the pus out of his hair and face, only to get it on his hands and he's grimacing in pain. He looks ridiculous.

"Oh my god that was fucking awesome!" James says through his unconfined laughter, and I see even Remus is laughing uncontrollably. I flit my eyes back to Snape and just grin wildly. But then my eyes go to the boy next to him, not shouting in pain, not in an outrage, not scraping the pus out of his hair and face. He has a cold stare of hatred ploughing through the crowd, and somehow they find me. His grey eyes pierce my laughter and my smile disappears, and worry replaces it throughout my body.

The flash of his eyes close up haunt me, and I grab the table for support. I don't even know what I've done. And I don't think I'll be able to fix it if he knows its me. And that I don't plan on being with him. And that I plan on not really talking to him. Or being friendly to him. Or holding back my disgust towards Slytherin for him. Or doing _anything, _for him.

**Please Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

"He knows something's up." I say worriedly as we hurry back to the common room.

"What do you mean?" James asks me and I just shake my head.

"It shouldn't have hit him, he knows I don't plan on leaving you guys for him." I say, trying not to scowl. I really have gotten into a bad habit around these guys.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was just hating his guts." Sirius says, though somehow actually means it apologetically.

"You could just avoid him. The way he asked you to avoid us." Pete suggests. I look at him. No. I can't. Regulus knows my secret. And I can't afford to have anyone knowing. Even just having the threat of anyone telling is dangerous.

"It won't work. He'll find me in less than a week or so. And he's on the quidditch team so he'll just try and corner me in the match when their chasers are failing." I say, using the most realistic excuse possible. I hope it is anyway.

"We need to make sure he knows you don't want any trouble with him." Remus says sensibly. I can't do that either.

"Yeah, how about after we kick his arse in quidditch, you just kick him in the groin!" James says and I have to smile. I could just explain to him that I don't want to leave my friends. He's my friend after all, and we can stay just that. He wouldn't tell anyone.

"Okay, so after the quidditch match I talk to him. I honestly don't know what I'll say, but hopefully it'll convince him." I say almost convincingly.

"And if it doesn't, I'll be his lovely older brother counselling him in the right direction!" Sirius says and I give him a look.

"You can talk to him; don't do anything rash, and no more butobuter pus." I tell him sternly. No way can he do something terrible. It'll just make everything worse.

"I'll need help hiding from him. I'll go to breakfast early with Remus, eat fast, if he's there I'll just eat in the kitchens, I don't know what else I can do other than that." I explain.

"We can use the map if he ever tries to come alone. And he should always be with his cronies, so he'll be easy to spot, and won't be able to surprise us." Remus adds.

"Okay. Plan formed. I am going to get some very well needed sleep. Especially since next week we won't be getting any for a few days." I say, smiling at the thought of running around at full moon.

I'm back in my room, reading a book from the library about second guessed facts.

_Even though everyone thinks the full moon lasts a few days, mostly known because of the werewolf cycle, the moon is only completely full for around a minute or so in each lunar cycle._

Remus would be interested in that.

I don't know what I'm going to say to Regulus. Sorry, we can only be friends since I'm in love with your brother, but you can't tell anyone cos I'm James' fake girlfriend? He'd definitely take that well. I get up and try to shower away my troubles, but they cling to my mind like James does to his broomstick. I slip underneath my covers but I already know I won't be able to get any sleep. I can only think of one thing to do. I get out of bed, pull on my oversized red shirt that goes all the way down to my lower thigh, and slide open my door.

I make my way past the common room, trying not to attract attention and to the boys' dormitory. It's almost 10 now, so they should be playing around with some magical sweets or trying out some bertie box every flavour beans on dares. I knock on the door lightly, after hearing I think Dan swear from an earwax flavoured bean.

"Yes?" I hear Remus' sensible voice through the door.

"It's me." I say, opening the door.

"At this time?" Thomas says and I roll my eyes.

"Can I speak to Sirius?" I ask, and Pete, Rem and James share a look. Dan and Thomas just carry on eating sweets, oblivious to the fact I just asked to see my real boyfriend at 10 pm. I roll my eyes at the marauders and just look at them pleadingly.

"Sure." Sirius says, and exits the dorm with me.

"What's up?" He asks concerned. I take his hand and take him quietly to my room, not wanting to be overheard.

"Sirius, I can't stop thinking about Regulus. He looked at me so coldly, it was terrifying. And-" I say timidly.

"Az, he won't do anything. As long as your mine he won't lay a hand on you or screw brothers pact I'm kicking him in the balls." He says, putting his arms round me.

"Please, if anyone's kicking his balls, it should be me." I argue playfully.

"Oh really, did he try to take your girlfriend? Or was it mine…?" He says thoughtfully.

"He tried to come back into my life with no thought to the fact I'd moved on." I say intellectually.

"You make everything you say sound like it's the most scientific thing in the world." He tells me smiling.

"Well…" I say, raising my eyebrows with a cocky nature. He grins and kisses me, and I relax in his arms. I feel his grin through the kiss, like he can't stop it from surfacing. He puts his hands on my waist and my teeth instantly go to bite my lip but shit I bit his. He groans and I break off and look at my feet embarresed.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident-" I apologise quickly.

"Accident or not it kind of turned me on you know. Despite the slight salty taste it had a good effect-" He says cockily.

"I drew blood? Oh my god I'm so sorry is it bad?" I say my eyes widening as I immediately look back up examining the small cut I gave him.

"Nah… I mean yeah, really bad. In fact you owe me for filling my mouth with blood." He says flirtatiously.

"Oh really. I owe you?" I say raising my eyebrows. "Well you owe me for making your brother hate me more by filling his hair with pus."

"Hm, so it's like that huh? Well…" He grabs me and flips me onto my bed, curling up next to me putting his arms around me. I absentmindedly shuffle into his warmth, entangling my hands with his.

"You know James is going to ask me what I was doing with you tonight." Sirius murmurs.

"Mmhm…" I reply, still welcoming his comfort.

"Should I tell him I slept with you?" I jump out of bed and look at him incredulously.

"You just ruined the moment!" I yell at him, half angry, have sad. He chuckles.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself… but…" He says suggestively and I glare at him.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence young man! We're…" I'm about to say we're fifteen, too young to start something like that after knowing each other for a few weeks, but I stop myself and look at him in wonder. No… he couldn't have… could he have? James said he was a lot worse before I came… what was that supposed to mean? "…I'm not even going to think about what you're suggesting!" I change my sentence but he notices.

"It's okay I was joking." He says and pats the space next to him on the bed. He was joking? So he hasn't done it? Oh what the hell am I thinking? I can't even imagine what he'd feel if he found out what I'm thinking right now. I lie back down next to him, but I know I'm stiff from my thoughts. I try to relax in his embrace though, and I really, really hope he doesn't notice. Being Sirius though… I have a feeling he has. But he doesn't say anything, and soon I'm falling asleep at ease with his arms wrapping me in his protective embrace.

I'm up the next morning early, and this time I make sure I'm in the bathroom before I change into my school clothes. Don't care what he thinks, I'm not sure I want that happening again in the near future. And I'm changed and ready to leave just as his eyes are flicking open, and his mouth shaping into a groan at the light.

"Damn you and your early mornings." He mutters and I walk over to him and kiss him on his nose.

"You know, I can think of plenty of spells to get you out of this bed right now…" I say loudly and thoughtfully, while swirling my wand about in my hand. He's up almost immediately, and he snatches my wand from me. I fake an outraged face as he takes my wand from me, but then I remember yesterday morning and transform easily into my leopard form. _Camouflage. _Sirius had his eyes on me, but then he squints as I become the wood walls behind me. I slowly circle him, blending into the various things behind me, as I see him try to identify where I am. Then he grins and I see him transform into his shaggy black dog form.

He still can't see me, but then he starts sniffing. Well, he's definitely clever I'll give him that, but if I keep moving he won't be able to find me. I continue circling him and though he keeps getting closer, I always dart out of the way. He barks, and then I leap over onto the bed, and jump off the other side, landing on his back forcing him to roll over.

My claws retract instinctively, and while my paw hold him down, my claws stick into the floor, making holes. I retract them as soon as I realise what I did, but he's still playing. Unfortunately for me, he's still heavier, and soon I'm the one pinned to the floor. He licks my face and neck, and I quickly transform back into myself and I hold him by his paws.

"Sirius! You got your dog slobber on my face!" I say angrily, and soon he transforms back and is laughing uncontrollably. I go into my bathroom and lock the door, and begin to wash my face for the second time this morning. When I come out he's gone back to his room, and I quickly go to the common room to find Remus waiting for me.

"You took longer than usual." He remarks, but with no suggestive tone. I love him for that.

"Sirius covered my face with dog slobber." I mutter with an annoyed tone, and he chuckles.

"Well, he was never very hygienic I suppose." He replies.

"Of course Rem, but dog slobber? And I was already ready to come have breakfast with you!" I say as we leave the common room and go to eat.

The day goes by quickly, with no trouble from Regulus. In fact I don't see him all day, and Remus leaves the Potions, the last lesson early. James comes with me to the kitchen to get some food and we head back to the common room together.

"You know, people are going to start thinking you're cheating on me if Sirius keeps staying the night with you…" He says smirking.

"Don't start, please! And please tell him not to lick my face again, it took me ages to get it off." I say as we're reaching the common room. He laughs.

"He's Sirius, he's not going to stop. And we were talking about nicknames earlier!" I slouch onto the sofa in the deserted common room, but turn to listen attentively.

"Obviously I'm Prongs, we were thinking Moony for Remus, any ideas?" He asks.

"Moony's good… perhaps Wormtail for Pete? Oh, Slobber for Sirius." I say obviously, and he laughs.

"Wormtail's perfect, but think seriously for Sirius." He says and I put my feet in his lap.

"What about Padfoot? You should feel his paws, they're so cute." I say, and he smirks.

"That's a good one, he thought up one for you too."

"Really? Enlighten me. If it's dirty I'm going to behead him."

"Claws." He says simply, and I smile.

"Well maybe that is suitable. Want to come to my room?" I ask and he nods. We get in and I think while walking in, _Be Claws._ I transform and bound up to the mirror, and see James become Proud Prongs. I hop up onto my bed, and crawl onto his back and stand on my back feet, balancing on his antlers.

I retract my claws and Prongs motions to the marks on the floor I made this morning. I jump off him and land easily on the floor, placing my claws into the spaces in the wood. When I look up, Prongs has lowered and is sitting comfortably against my bed. I camouflage against my desk, and James tries to find me in amusement. He makes the most unusual noise I've heard and I let out a pur of laughter. I prowl up to him and settle myself against him, and he nuzzles my fur.

We transform back at the same time, and I realise that we're sitting against my bed with his arm around my shoulders, just like we do in our human forms.

"You are definitely Claws!" He remarks, and I smile.

"Well Prongs, your antlers are really very strong you know." I reply and jump up. "You should probably get back. Sirius and Pete should be back by now, and it gets dark in half an hour."

He leaves and I change out of my school uniform, into a sly one shoulder scarlet top, and some black leggings. I honestly don't know how tonight will go. Werewolf rage calms down when the werewolf isn't in contact with humans, or anything it may want to tear apart. And when surrounded by other animals it's mind relaxes more, and isn't on edge as much. However, there are still many dangers. If anything causes Rem to lose control, or if he gets angry, we would all be in a lot of danger. None of us would want to hurt Remus, but he would be willing to hurt us without hesitation.

Luckily Rem is a very calm person. He's sensible, and has a very long fuse. I haven't seen him get angry or annoyed once! Just serious, and perhaps determined. It'll go fine. I look out my window and take my broom and settle on top of it. I open my window and fly out fluidly, and go to the owlery where James, Sirius and Pete would be meeting me. Remus should already be in the shrieking shack, and has transformed. The full moon is already shining brightly, and as I fly through the cloudless sky doubt clouds my mind. I land swiftly and stow my broom away in a corner.

"Az!" I hear James call my name quietly from outside, and they walk up to me.

"Remus should've already transformed by now." Pete says nervously.

"There's no need to be nervous, Remus wouldn't hurt us." Sirius reassures Pete. _But a werewolf would. _

"We should transform now. Let's go." I say hurriedly, and I remember myself transforming in the mirror. I remember myself in the darkest navy colour, and the edges of my eyesight become the same colour, notifying me of my colour change. I pur out to the black dog, tall stag, and tiny rat, who scrambles onto Prongs' back.

I start to run through the Hogwarts grounds, enjoying the unusual feeling of freedom as my four legs make me feel like I'm gliding, instead of running. I see Padfoot running alongside me, and I speed up and camouflage against the night sky. I wind in and out of the trees, my paws projecting me off the roots of the trees. Through the rush, the whomping willow comes into sight, and I skid to a stop, changing back into snow leopard colours. We're not close enough for the tree to start attacking us, but it's still moving randomly.

Wormtail, who's obviously the smallest scrambles off Prongs' back and scurries to press the small knot of branches at the base of the tree. Padfoots goes first, and one by one we slide into the murky tunnel and I feel the cold dirt underneath my paws. Prongs takes a little longer to get in, not wanting to get his antlers in a twist, but eventually get to trotting through the tunnel, all alert and aware of what's on the other side.

I walk beside Padfoot, and as soon as I see the door at the end of the tunnel, I sprint up to it, and camouflage against the wood. I try to push it open with my head, but it's jammed shut. Padfoots rears on his back legs and tries to push it with his front paws, but I knock him away and retract my claws with an idea. I stick my claws into the small gap, and use my claws as a lever to creak the door open.

I cautiously prowl inside, invisible to the eye. Slowly, I take in the shaggy furniture, and the deep scratch marks in the walls and furniture. A lot of the fabric of the armchairs have been torn in a ragged direction, and I frown. I hear a howl from a neighbouring room, and I cautiously prowl in, keeping myself the colour of the walls behind me, a dirty beige. Moony is curled up in a ball on a four poster bed in the centre of the room, the headboard against the bed. The curtains are scrapped away, and the wolf looks up. Moony lifts his snout and starts to sniff towards me. He gets close, and I stay, frozen where I am.

He gets right up close to me, and he knows where I am due to my distinct smell. He settles on a growl, but as soon as it's in place, Prongs is in Moony's face, standing proudly in front of me while Padfoot comes beside me. I change back into a snow leopard. Moony's growls get lower, and quieter, and he slowly looks up. I smile, and Moony slowly becomes an almost adorable dog.

I walk up to him, despite Padfoot's dislike for it, and gently stroke his head with my paw, claws obviously away. Moony whines sweetly, and the atmosphere relaxes. Prongs comes closer and I jumps onto his back, holding my paws around his neck, while acting like I'm part of the lion king. I soon see Wormtail clinging onto the top of Prongs' antler, and I retract a claw and pretend to swipe him onto the floor. Then Padfoots is rolling me onto the floor, and begins barking at me. I pur back attempt to throw him off. My human mind is laughing as we behave just as we usually do, just all in a different form.

"I wonder how Moony's doing!" I say brightly as we enter the great hall in the morning.

"A lot better now he's been cheered up!" Pete says proudly.

"Well Claws, we're lucky my brother goes to breakfast late every day, otherwise we'd probably be having a nice encounter with my brother probably." Sirius says, indicating the Slytherin table.

"Well Padfoot, I'm on a high, so I think I can handle having to be invisible to the eye and slipping away from him." I reply knowingly. We grin and the whole day goes by, almost perfect. In fact, I'm pretty sure these are some of the best days I've had here.

"We'll meet you later, same place same time." James mutters to me as I leave the common room to go to my room. I nod and kiss him on the cheek earning another glare from Evans in the corner. At least that's still going well. I give her a regal look and can't help but smirk going into my room. Once I'm in I let out a squeal of joy and do this weird jump into the air, overjoyed with myself.

"I'm turning into a girl… perhaps it's a side-effect of being an animagus…" I wonder aloud, and I go to change out of my school uniform like the night before.

I'm down there and stowing my broom away like before, and the others and I are bounding through the forest like the night before. This time, the door opens easily, and there's no misunderstanding between Moony and the animagi. In fact, Moony bounds towards us as soon as the door creaks open. We end up running through the night, exploring the Shreiking shack, Wormtail wriggling through peep-holes, Padfoots chasing his tail, Prongs ramming doors open with his strong antlers, Moony jumping around with excitement, as I use my claws to pick locks and cling onto walls.

Though we don't utter a single word, I can honestly say it is one of the best nights of my life, stretching my legs, experimenting what our animagus forms do, laughing at my crazy friends. In fact, time flies by and suddenly I realise it's 4:38 a.m. and I growl for the other's attention. We scramble through the tunnel to the owlery, grabbing our brooms.

"We shouldn't have stayed so long!" I say worriedly, mounting my broom as James helps Pete onto his.

"Don't fret Az, I'm sure we'll only miss the first few lessons!" Sirius replies, laughing at me, I scowl, and take off, after a blissful night.

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	12. Chapter 12

Soon the moonlit nights are over, and Remus is back "in school". The quidditch match is tomorrow, and I've been 1) working my butt of in practice, and 2) worrying about what I'm going to say to Reg.

"Az! Watch it!" I hear Leo shout and refocus my eyes to whip out of the way of a bludger hurtling towards me.

"Sorry Leo!" I shout, shaking my head. I really shouldn't doze off in the middle of a quidditch practice. Then Onyx comes at me with a shot into the left hoop, I catch it quickly and throw it back but then Marie comes straight away with a shot to the middle hoop. My mind still buzzing with what I'm going to say to Reg, I only manage to skim the quaffle, letting it fall to the ground clumsily. Then I realise Onyx has come again, but into the left hoop so I spin quickly and try to get my focus back. Unfortunately my timing goes wrong and I end up accidently shoving the quaffle into the hoop itself. I groan.

"Azzy! What's going on with you?" Leo asks, stopping everybody.

"Sorry Leo, I'm just tired and distracted, I won't let a single shot in tomorrow." I say confidently, handing the quaffle back to Onyx who's now grinning wildly.

"Are you sure? You've never let a goal in before… except that one time with James…" I scowl at the memory of James flying straight at me with the quaffle, as he nearly slammed right into me but instead kissed me on the cheek throwing the quaffle into the hoop behind me.

"No one's going to come at and kiss me in the middle of a quidditch match. And if you think I'm out of it, Onyx, hit me." I say flying back to the hoops, this time ready for action. Leo, Sirius and James watch as the three chasers hurl three quaffle at me in quick succession.

_I see a fast powerful shot to the left hoop from Onyx, then a fast shot into the right hoop, and lastly a spinning shot into the middle…_

My vision fades and I grin. I hit Onyx's shot back with the underside of my broom, send Chris' quaffle back letting it slide into my hand before using it's momentum to give it back, then head Marie's shot back, not feeling any pain.

"Okay, you're forgiven for your sleepiness. Back to work!" Leo says, now smirking. I can't help but smirk back. Slytherin had no chance.

"Az, you were on fire!" James says flinging his arm round me as we enter the common room, now clean from the showers.

"Hey, you were great too! I saw that catch just before you smashed into the ground!" I counter, but Sirius backs him up.

"Yeah, but you were incredible! It's like you knew where everything was going to come before it happened!" Oh damn. Of course he was the one to notice.

"Well, it'll be harder with the Slytherins, I've been keeper for Onyx, Marie and Chris for sometime now, and I can often just predict what they're going to do. They all have preferences." I say, trying to push away the idea of me seeing the future. The visions are coming a lot more often, and at the most unexpected times. I often space out for a second, and see what's just about to happen, like whoever's walking round the corner. In fact, I'm beginning to see at will.

This morning, I was wondering whether Snape would make a move in Defence, and suddenly I had a vision of him just glaring unnaturally at James and Sirius, in the Defence classroom, with a clock in the corner reading 10:19. That exact same thing happened, and Snape didn't do anything apart from scowl, glare and snarl at the marauders all through the lesson. It's getting stronger, and I think I'm learning how to control it.

"You guys look exhausted." Pete says as we slump onto the sofa.

"You should probably get an early night." Remus adds, but I think he was more concerned about us getting worn out from visiting him for the last few nights.

"We can rest after Slytherin is destroyed!" James almost roars, and I laugh, agreeing with him.

"As far as I'm concerned, they're already shattered into tiny little pieces!" I say smirking.

I curl up, snuggling into James' arm while resting my feet on Sirius' lap and start reading a new fiction book I picked up from the library – The forgotten few. There aren't many wizarding fiction books, most are muggle, but muggle fiction books don't include any of the excitements of magic. Then, I hear someone clear their throat and look up.

"Um, Professor Slughorn wanted me to tell you that if you want to join the Slug club now, that you're welcome to now you've settled in." Lily Evans is looking down on me, but I can see her eyes turning towards James. I smirk inwardly, and make sure James is paying no attention to her.

"Oh, um, I don't really think I'll have time… I mean between Quidditch and spending quality time with James I don't think I'll be able to make time for it. Especially now since when we win against Slytherin we'll need to secure a win against Hufflepuff." I say, really digging into her, looking at James cheesily while he gazes back to me. Evans immediately scowls.

"Well, I wouldn't want to ruin your relationship… good luck with the quidditch, lets hope you don't get hit by another bludger!" She remarks, obviously irritated, and I carry on reading.

"Nice façade." I mutter to James, and he smiles.

"I can't believe she actually came up to us." He murmurs, but I can hear the excitement in his voice.

"Seriously James… you've got it bad for this girl." I say, rolling my eyes.

I take a sleeping draught that night to make sure I get a full 9 hours of sleep, and I take it at 9:30 and wake up at 6:32. Full of determination, I slide out of bed and put my scarlet quidditch robes on, with an unusual sense of pride. I use refresh spray and moisturise, settle for some waterproof grey eyeliner on upper and lower waterlines for some extra pizazz, and tie all my hair up neatly in a high ponytail, securing it with two hairbands. I use hairspray just to make sure none of it will go into my face during the game, and remind myself to tuck my ponytail into my robes before going into the pitch.

I'm downstairs in the common room at 7 o'clock sharp, and for once both James and Sirius are down early. At least they're serious about something.

"All right everyone! Gather round!" Leo yells before we take to the field. "Everyone knows this will be the most heated match of the season! Slytherin are our mortal enemies, and they like to play dirty. We however will not stoop so low! Sirius and I will be working more on protecting you guys than killing them, Chris, Marie and Onyx, we need your fast handiwork, and your shots need to be fast and skill-full, power shots won't work so well in this match because of Montague their keeper. James, fly fast, keep out of the way till you see the snitch. Azzy, we all know their chasers are big and brawny so don't worry too much about misleading shots. I'm guessing most of their bludgers will be heading for James as usual, and Azzy. They want James to be out so he can't get the snitch, and Azzy so they can get their shots in. This is the most important match of the season as usual, so be on aware, but we're going to win this! Break!"

With Leo's last words, we mount our brooms, me and James at the front as Keeper and Seeker, then Leo and Sirius, the Onyx, Marie and Chris. The gate opens, light shines through, and we all shoot onto the pitch.

"Welcome everybody to our third match of the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin! Both teams won their first matches respectively, Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw by a massive 270 points, Gryffindor's new keeper Azalea Zamora only letting in one goal while Slytherin won by 30 points, not managing to catch the snitch but leaving two of hufflepuff's players down due to some powerful bludgers! How will this match turn out?" Thomas Taylor, hufflepuff informs the crowd.

I take my comfortable position in front of the posts and spot Regulus in the chasers position. I grip my broom, and keep my eyes trained on the quaffle. They won't score any points if I have anything to say. The whistle blows and Onyx gets shoved away as Regulus takes the quaffle. Lucky it was Onyx, a small shove like that can't harm him.

"Black from Slytherin takes the quaffle, it goes to Porcher, then Horak nearing the posts, back to Black he shoots and…" Regulus shoots towards me fast and it's obvious he's going for a slam down into the middle hoop. He fakes downwards and I pretend to follow it but jump off my broom as he slams it down, take it firmly into my hand and slide back onto my broom easily.

"Zamora demonstrates amazing skill catching the well aimed slam easily, throwing it to Ender! I'm sure team captain Black will not be happy." Regulus glowers at me, obviously unsure whether to go for the complete glare, then speeds off. I just smirk.

Soon, Horak comes at me with a surprisingly good spin shot for the left hoop but I kick it away, and it goes farther than I would've thought and I see Chris catch it on the other side. Suddenly, a bludger comes towards me from below and I spiral out of the way smoothly, but it leaves me to the left of the left hoop, a little too far away for my comfort.

"Leo! Get these guys of me! I can dodge but I don't want to risk them scoring!" I shout and I see his blonde head nod before flying closer to me and deflecting another bludger coming my way.

I see Chris score at the other end, flying round the stadium to celebrate, but as he lifts his arms up after his 4th goal a bludger hits him square in the chest and he falls to the ground. The score's 90-0, and I've stopped 16 attempts so far, and I think Regulus is starting to get the fact that I'm not holding back against him, and that I'm pretty good.

_Regulus does a fast shot to the right hoop… then another shot to the right again… then one to the left, but this one's hard, fast, and unforgiving…_

The vision fades and I know my eyes had gone slightly glassy, and I see Regulus coming at me from the right. Acting on my vision I catch the quaffle easily then throw it away… but he intercepts my throw and comes again into the same hoop. I can hear the Slytherin supporters already screaming in victory but I kick my feet up so I'm ultimately doing a hand-stand on my broom and hook a foot round the quaffle and bring it back down into my hands, sliding onto my broom, smirking. This is a point where I love my visions. So, so much.

"The Gryffindor Keeper performs an unbelievable save, leaving the Slytherin Captain stunned! I don't think we've ever seen such an amazing save, combining keeper reflexes with such acrobatics! The other players are…" The commentator describes my save. The Gryffindor supporters are screaming in victory, and the Slytherins boo. Regulus just looks at me amazed.

"Takeout manoeuvre!" Regulus yells to one of his beaters. What's that… Oops, I'm still holding the quaffle! I throw back to Onyx but then a bludger hits him, he gets back up but Regulus has the quaffle again. I'm at the right hoop and I see him aim the hard powerful shot to the left hoop but I'm already ready, feeling a burst of speed and I fly into the quaffle, catching it but then I feel a sudden pain in my right shoulder.

"Ah!" I shout out and realise a bludger followed right after the quaffle. I'm falling fast but I still have consciousness and I quickly pass to Marie before landing. I see James flying down to help me but I yell at him.

"Don't you dare come down here James!" I yell, determined to win the game. "Catch that bloody snitch!" I can tell my shoulder's dislocated and I can already see Madam Pomfrey coming out onto the field to help me. I cannot be out of this game.

"The Gryffindor keeper is down after a nasty blow to the shoulder due to some dirty tactics from the Slytherins, who had a bludger following the quaffle closely causing the skilled keeper to be hit after yet another save!" I hear the commentators voice boom out and I grit my teeth angrily, feeling the pain and see blood start to come from the hit. Damn it.

"It seems the amazing Gryffindor keeper will be down for the rest of the game and Captain Black scores… hang on!" I hear Thomas Taylors confused voice as I intercept a well aimed shot into the middle hoop, hitting it away with my broom.

"This can't be! The Gryffindor Keeper is back on the field even after her shoulder had been what looked like dislocated!" I stare at Regulus defiantly, even rolling my shoulder that I'd just popped back into place, blood staining my robes leaving an obvious splash of an even darker shade of red over my shoulder. He scowls at me but turns away as Marie scores.

"Az! Are you okay?" James is above me while the action is down the other end.

"James, you better catch the snitch cos that fucking hurt but I still don't plan on letting any ball through these hoops!" I say, making eye contact and he smirks.

"Just don't get hurt okay! You're distracting Padfoot!" James replies and I smile nicely.

"Tell him not to worry except about how his brothers teeth will get broken for that." I yell at him as he flies off. It's 140-0, and even though Chris is down, Marie and Onyx are just about holding their own against the chasers, and Leo and Sirius are just managing to keep the bludgers away with some help from James, who's been hovering closer to the beaters giving them a better shot. But after what they called the "takeout manoeuvre", the Slytherin team are starting to play rougher.

"And as Ender gets another shot in, Gryffindor have a very good chance of winning, especially since Potter is yet to miss the snitch! Oh, but look at this! Ender is down after being struck by a close ranged bludger to the back!" I hear the commentators voice and search frantically for Onyx. Madam Pomfrey has him on a stretcher leaving the pitch, Onyx looking just conscious but in obvious pain. It seems Regulus has taken his eyes off me, and started trying to take out the rest of my team.

"James!" I yell high up into the stadium. "Now would be a great time to catch the snitch! Marie has no one to throw to so I doubt we'll be scoring any more points that way!" He takes his eyes of the pitch for a second to nod at me, and I signal Sirius to come closer to me.

"What is it? Leo and I will be staying closer to you now they'll be able to get the quaffle more easily-" Sirius starts but I cut him off.

"No, you look after Prongs, he's going to be the one to finish the match, and they're going to try to take him out. And I don't know whether I'll be able to hold these posts for much longer." I tell him, and he looks torn between looking after me and helping James. "Do it!" I say forcefully, and he sends me a reproachful look before flying off after James.

I see Horak with the quaffle at the other end of the pitch and… call on my power. It's cheating I guess… but I'll end up in the infirmary if I don't… or I'm guessing.

_What will happen next?_ My voice runs clear through my head.

_Horak goes for a simple throw into the middle hoop… Porcher backs him up and takes the quaffle from Marie forcefully… Porcher fakes left but then she cuts upwards to the middle hoop…_

I blink my glassy eyes away and ready myself to hit Horak's throw to Marie with the stick of my broom. He comes towards me unusually sloppily and I go through the steps of my plan easily, watching- or perhaps it's remembering- Porcher shoving Marie, taking the quaffle from her. Not being able to keep the pretence I don't bother following Porcher's fake and just wait at the middle hoop for her to do her uppercut.

_An image of a bludger flashes between my eyes…_

I read my vision and immediately know what's coming.

I pretend to think Porcher's going for the right hoop then spin back to the centre, catching the quaffle nimbly while slipping out of the way of the bludger that closely followed the quaffle in another "takeout manoeuvre".

"You're not going to get me again Slytherin! Not while I'm still bleeding!" I yell at no one in particular, motioning to my shoulder that is still bleeding lightly. I signal to Marie and she smirks, and shoots in the direction of the other hoops, though I still have the quaffle.

Porcher, still close by looks confused and I can't help but smirk as I begin to pull off the move I'd practiced with Onyx the day before. Though I had not practiced it with Marie, I knew it wouldn't fail. I come from behind my hoops and throw the quaffle above me. I slide off my broom and put all my weight onto my right foot and place it on the middle ring. I have my broom in my hands like a bat and I swing with as much strength and accuracy as I can, going on watching Sirius hit a bludger to Leo. I hit the quaffle square on, and plus the speed I'd picked up from flying towards the hoop, the quaffle flew high in the sky, nearly knocking the Slytherin seeker off his broom, and Marie watched over her shoulder and caught it carefully, over half-way across the pitch.

I hear Gryffindor screaming and can't help but roar with them. The feeling of conquering the Slytherin in a game of such fills me with determination, and I know I will be cocky when we win. Perhaps it's overconfidence but… Suddenly, as all the other players but the seekers and Sirius shoot to the other end of the pitch with the quaffle, I see a Remus and Pete cheering from the stands. But what I recognise is a gold fleck, just behind both of them, almost outside the pitch.

I look to James instantly, but a dilemma invades my mind and time stops, allowing me to think. If I yell "James, Gryffindor stands", the Slytherin seeker will hear just as well, and he is closer to Pete and Remus. He might even understand if I say Rem and Pete... oh I love our animagus forms…Time commences and my head snaps towards James.

"Prongs!" I yell, and James and Sirius turn, but the Slytheirn Seeker… Chalk I think his surname is… remains where he is, oblivious to my call.

"Moony and Wormtail!" I say my friends' names with such an incredulous tone that James looks confused, but Sirius's eyes snap to Rem and Pete and he shoves James to look. This is when I realise James is an unusually naturally skilled seeker. He doesn't grin, he doesn't fumble, he doesn't hesitate. He shoots faster than anything I've ever seen, leaving gusts of wind in his wake, straight to Rem and Pete. My two, scared of flight friends look terrified out of their wits as their best friend dives towards them about to smash right into them without what would have usually been a look of wicked amusement, but James doesn't see anything but the snitch. Faster than I thought possible he's right there, and the snitch is in his hand before its magic can work and it can fly away, though the wood of the stands had broken through, its occupants ducking out of the way in fear.

James flies straight into the air holding a still struggling snitch in his hand, and Sirius and I shoot to join him. I scream in victory, embracing Sirius and James, so happy with confidence we nearly fall to of our brooms. The commentator is only just realising- Gryffindor have won!

"Merlin's bloody beard! It happened so fast I didn't even see it! Gryffindor's skilled seeker grabs the snitch just after Marie Lamont scores for the last time in this match, and with an immense score of 310-0 making Gryffindor the victor!" The crowd erupts and as James, Sirius and I fly to the ground Leo, Marie, and a limping Chris all tackle us to the ground, and we all scream our joy out.

"It's safe to say, with Potter's amazing seeking skills, their beater's protective hits, the three tactical chasers and the consistently unbelievable skill of Zamora, this must be one of the strongest quidditch teams Hogwarts has ever seen…"

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	13. Chapter 13

"We won!" I yell as the Gryffindor quidditch team return to the common room. There's various congratulations, and I walk in with James and Sirius, their arm slung over me helping me in.

"I can't believe to sprained your ankle walking up the stairs, and not in the quidditch match." Remus says walking up to us, and I smile sheepishly.

"I guess, but I need to go and change, the blood from earlier is drying and it's feels a little weird." I say, pulling my robe down from my shoulder to examine my wound. There was some kind of… tear is the best word for I guess from when the bludger hit my shoulder. It had stopped bleeding now, but it needed to be cleaned up.

"Congratulations, James, Sirius, oh Azalea how did you get that, it looks horrible!" Evans says, coming up to us, and I push a scowl back as she fake examines my ankle. "That's really bad, I think you should stay in bed the rest of the night."

"Thanks Evans, but I'm not missing out on the party, or time with this guy." I say, smiling goofily, leaning closer to James. "I just need to clean up in my room but I'll be back here with you."

"Come on then, I'll help you to your room." Sirius says, looping his arm under mine, half carrying me up the stairs. I push the door of my room open and he puts me on my bed. I roll upside down so I'm lying on my front and peak my head under my bed, fishing around for my medical supplies.

"You know, you could just go to Madam Pomfrey." Sirius say, closing the door.

"You know I like to do things myself." I say, and catch him casting a silencing charm over the door.

I pull the quidditch robe over my head leaving me in some black leggings and a black tank top. I start applying the essence of dittany over where my skin tore, watching it seal up.

"What about your ankle?" Sirius asks, sitting down next to me.

"Meh, it's just a sprain, I can live with it." I say, dabbing burlap essence over the top to help it heal.

"Good." He says, then takes my waist and leans in to kiss me.

I kiss back automatically, placing my hands on his shoulders. He starts kissing up my jawline to my ear.

"You deserve a very long kiss for what you did today…" He murmurs into my ear, then comes back to my mouth. He pushes me back onto the bed and starts kissing my neck. I moan in surprise.

"Sirius… James, Remus and Pete could walk in any minute." I murmur, smiling as he starts fingering the hem of my tank top.

"Even if they did I wouldn't stop." He replies stubbornly into my ear. I stop myself from whacking by pulling his t-shirt up, pushing slightly on his hard chest. Meanwhile my top's risen up and he's running his hands over my stomach. I pull his face back to me so I can kiss him again, and he doesn't hesitate to deepen the kiss immediately. Soon my t-shirt is off and he's kissing my neck appreciately. But suddenly I feel a whelp of pain in my ankle and groan.

"Sirius…" I say, and try to push his off me when I realise he is effectively standing on my bad ankle. He carries on kissing me and the pain greatens so I knee him in the ribs to get him off.

"Hey!" He says, but I lean down to my ankle, paying him no attention.

"You were enjoying yourself too much, maybe I do need to do something about this. I could try that spell I read about…" I say, ever so slightly irritated, hopping over to my desk, sifting through the books towering over on it.

"Did I hurt you?" He asks, realising my pain.

"A bit… unknowingly." I reply with no emotion and he comes up to me and puts his arms around my bare waist.

"I'm sorry." He says, moving his thumb in small circles.

"Found it! Oh I knew it was that!" I say, after finding the spell I wanted on page 238.

"Stand back, Episkey!" I say, pushing him away and pointing my wand at my ankle. I feel a sudden jolt and a bit of a crack and fall back onto Sirius who catches me.

"You okay?" He asks while I examine my ankle.

"Oooh, that's a good one." I say, rotating my ankle. "You go back to James and the others." I say, and he opens his mouth to interject. "No, you're going back, I'm going to put something on that covers these up, and you are going to try and not get too drunk at the party." I say, indicating the marks on my neck and pushing him out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

I sigh and go over to my closet and look at myself in the mirror, grabbing my discarded tank top and throwing it into the washing basket. It was too sweaty anyway. I change into a cropped, black, polo neck top that had long sleeves and pulled on some high-waisted mulberry jeans so about an inch wide strip of skin was showing. I wouldn't usually wear this top… at all really, but Sirius decided to cover my neck with three bite marks, which I'm pretty sure are going to prove difficult to cover up. I go and wash my face and put on concealer, do eyeliner and mascara and pluck out a few eyebrow hairs that were outside my perfect shape. I then take my hair out of its confined ponytail and brush it out, leaving it nice and straight down to my waist.

After putting my usual boots on I step back down to the common room, where a party has already began to take place. I see Remus sitting in the corner and go to join him.

"Do they really like these sort of scenes?" I ask, and he looks up.

"I'm not sure, I think they just enjoy the winning, and of course all the compliments." He says.

"Did something happen, Padfoot came down with an odd expression on his face." Rem asks hesitantly.

"Nothing much, he just managed to step on my ankle. Episkey is a great spell by the way, it doesn't hurt at all anymore." I say, leaning on my once sprained ankle to show him.

"Cool… I think Sirius may have taken something the wrong way then…" He says, indicating Sirius holding a bottle of butterbeer in his hand, standing in the middle of the common room surrounded by girls. Even Kitty Wills.

I try to repress disappointment so instead a scowl comes out.

"Excuse me Rem." I say politely, walking my way through the crowd to James who was sitting on the sofa, people still around him, though he wasn't lapping it up like Sirius.

"Hey." I say, sitting down on his lap and leaning back on him.

"Hey he says, while leaning in to whisper into my ear. "I thought this was something Sirius didn't allow us to do."

"Well maybe he should have thought about that before doing that." I say pointing to Sirius who was now dancing very closely to some of the girls. I grit my teeth and put my head on his shoulder.

"Why is he like this?..." I ask James hopelessly, and he pats my shoulder.

"What happened before he came, down, he looked kind of… grumpy." James asks, and I sigh.

"Nothing of consequence, we were just kissing, then he accidently stepped on my ankle so I had to shove him off me cos he decided not to listen." I say worriedly.

"How… far did you get?" He asks, hesitating. I narrow my eyes at him.

"I promise I won't laugh." He says, smiling slightly though.

I pull down my polo neck slightly so only he can see the marks Sirius left. "He may have taken my top as well…" I mutter, embarrassed.

"I think… he may be annoyed." James says and I frown.

"Annoyed?" I ask in confusion.

"Padfoot isn't used to rejection… whether it's because of your ankle or something else. What did you do afterwards?"

"Sent him down here and fixed my ankle, got changed, and came down." I reply, suddenly anxious.

"I don't know, you should probably talk to him." He says.

"When he's in the middle of doing that no thank you." I say, catching sight of him taking another girl by the waist, pulling her close and twirling her around. I kiss James on the cheek and stand up, trying not to look like I was storming out of the portrait hole. I had to talk to Regulus anyway.

It's still not that late, so I pass a few students on my way to the Slytherin common room, trying not to look extremely pissed off.

"Azalea my dear." I hear a gentle voice, easily recognisable and turn around with a smile on my face.

"Albus. It is good to see you!" I say warmly, Desperate not to show my conflicted mind to him.

"Yes, and I must congratulate you on your latest win on the quidditch field. Though I do not exactly approve of you resuming the match after that terrible fall… you saw every goal coming." Albus says, a twinkle in his eyes. I look at my feet guiltily.

"I know it's against the rules, it just keeps happening. My vision blurs and I see someone shoot, and then I'm back and the exact thing I just saw was about to happen, and my instincts pull in. Though I didn't see that first bludger." I say, explaining it to him, feeling completely safe.

"Well, it's obvious you are growing more comfortable with your powers…" He pauses for a second looking down the deserted corridor for any ears. "You must realise though, not everything you see may come to pass. Often, if you intervene in some way, the future will change."

"I understand. I-" I hesitate to tell him about Regulus, but I feel as though I shouldn't tell him…I'm sure I can handle it. "-still haven't told anyone. No one knows."

"Or can ever know while you are still in school, and unprepared for what may come." Albus adds, his voice turning grave. I nod in agreement. "Though you mustn't worry, I can assure you nothing will hurt you while protected in these walls." He continues, the playfulness returning to his voice.

"I'm not worried at all." I say, smiling warmly.

"Of course you aren't. I will leave you to your evening festivities." Albus says, eyes twinkling and turning to disappear. I take a deep breath after listening to his steps slowly disappear, and think easily, _become Claws. _I blend myself into the walls, and prowl deeper into the castle, down to the dungeons. It doesn't take long to find the stone hiding the entrance, and not too soon a 7th year Slytherin I don't know the name of has said the password a little too loudly and entered. I follow the female student through the passageway and into their familiar common room. I look at the fur on my arms… or should I say front legs, and find the shimmering green and silver unusually appealing.

I keep out of the moody Slytherins' ways, a smirk passing through my mind at the constant sulking mood. I see no sign of Regulus in the common room, and prowl unwillingly to the dorm I know he'll be in. I enter and he and some of the Slytherin quidditch team are in there, being sour losers.

"I can't believe that stupid keeper Zamora got up after that perfect takeout manouvre!" Porcher, a chaser exclaims, looking straight at a wall. Though well camouflaged, I stay out of sight and place myself underneath the bed adjacent to the one Regulus was lounging on, staring angrily at a wall.

"She would've been out of the way from the beginning of the match if Hugh hadn't been so persistent. Idiotic excuse for a captain!" I recognise Goyle one of the beaters snapping endlessly.

"The real problem was Az… Zamora. We depend on scoring goals since Chalk is so shitty and she was just… too good." Regulus mutters thoughtfully. Crap.

"I'm going back to the common room. Hopefully Montague will be a good enough distraction." Goyle grumbles, and Porcher and Horak follow leaving Regulus alone in the dorm. I transform back into myself quickly, flick out my wand locking the dorm door. Regulus sat up suddenly at the sound of the door clicking, and I roll out from underneath the bed.

"Azzy." Regulus says, my name gritting out his teeth.

"Reg…how are you?" I ask awkwardly suddenly finding myself lost for words.

"How am I? Well I just found out one of my most trusted friends betrayed me, and used her powers to cheat at a quidditch match. I also realised not that long ago that she'd been avoiding me, and that she decided to coat me in butobuter pus would be a good idea." Regulus says sarcastically, and I intake a sharp breath of air.

"Regulus, it wasn't like that. You weren't supposed to get hit, Snape is horrible to us, and I got a vision randomly in the middle of the match! I don't cheat I didn't purposely look into the future for a quidditch match!" I say worriedly, knowing I'm lying. I'm a marauder, I had an advantage, like I wasn't going to use it.

"Us." He says venomously. "It seems you've befriended my stupid backstabbing brother, and I've heard everything, you've been messing around with patriotic potter!"

"I'm a Gryffindor Regulus. And I didn't know he was your brother. Reg, I don't think us being friends is a good idea. You're being… you're stuck in the past. I can't be friends with you. And… the other thing. The kiss was a mistake. It was years ago and the fact you think I haven't moved on is-" I try to argue.

"So that's it huh. You get put in a different house and your loyalty swaps. Well, no." He interrupts, his voice laced with poison, obviously his temper well gone.

"No? Reg, you can't dictate me-" I say, suddenly angry.

"No. You're with me, so let me put it this way, you will stay away from my brother. You will break up with Potter. You won't even talk to any of them. Not that idiot Lupin and mouse boy either. You can only talk to who I tell you to. You will stay around me. You will do what I say. Or I will tell everyone about your secret." He says, taking steps towards me, backing me up against the wall, his hands either side of my head. My breath is shaky and my heart is beating out of my chest, eyes wide, hands shaking.

"That's right. Everyone will know about the young seer, the news will go from student to parent, parent to colleague, colleague to friend, friend to every corner of the earth." He says, breathing down into my ear. Technically there aren't any corners of the earth. It's a sphere for heaven's sake. But I can't really say that now. He looks down and pushes my polo neck down, revealing Sirius' bite marks.

"Did potter give these to you?" No. But he doesn't have to know that. I nod shakily, not trusting myself to say it in words. "Ah… well that won't do. I'll have to replace them." He moves his lips to my neck and bits down tenderly. He moves away and I don't need to look to know that now my whole neck is covered in at least ten dark red marks, instead of just the three. When Sirius bit me I enjoyed it, with pleasure in my veins. Now it's been replaced with fear, and pain.

"Now, why don't you scurry away. Remember, not a word… to anyone." He whispers huskily, and he walks away through his dorm door, unlocking it swiftly, leaving me alone in his dorm. My knees give way and I break down, tears of disbelief falling slowly in front of me. My right hand goes to my neck, gently massaging the lingering pain away. My first friend did this to me. My first friend, the person I used to trust so much is going to pull my life apart. And I have no idea what to do.

I transform and sneak my way clumsily back to Gryffindor tower, too empty to even notice what was going on around me. As I enter the common room unnoticed, I see James, Sirius, Remus and Pete all laughing together, butterbeer in hand. They'll be fine without me. They'll go back to when I wasn't around, when I didn't bring my mess with me. I don't even remember telling my legs to move, but soon I'm in my room, the door locked with magic and my bookcase, and I'm drowning myself with hot water, trying to find a way to make the helpless feeling inside me go away.

I even forgot to take my socks off… they're soaking now but what does that matter. And my hair band is wet and won't dry off for a couple of days. None of it even matters. I drag my plain black t-shirt on and some underwear before pushing the covers over and dropping into bed. I lie there for… hours, trying to think of something to think of, but I have… nothing. I don't even know when I passed out…

_I'm walking down a corridor recognisable by the portrait of the massive dog on my left. My footsteps don't sound and my legs are moving automatically, as though moving on orders like a robot of some sort. I come to some metal stairs, and though I know I'm barefoot I don't feel the flash of cold, skin against metal that I should feel. The tick of the clock on the astronomy tower mustn't be working, because even though I see the hands moving normally, I don't hear anything. It's just… silent. And then I hear it. The heavy thumping of my chest. My heart beating loudly in my ears, drumming on them as if trying to break my eardrums._

_ I begin moving up the stairs, and I couldn't even call it walking, it's so robotic. My hands don't skim the cold freezing railing like they usually do, though I hear the back of my mind screaming for something to wake me up from this dream. I reach the top, and it's raining violently, lightning but no thunder. I see the raindrops slapping against the edge of the floor, but hear nothing. And I'm only looking straight ahead. I try to think to myself, I try to tell my body to go back inside and get warm, because even though I don't feel it, I know my hands are numbing from the cold hard air._

_ I know my mind is screaming something, but I don't acknowledge it at all. I legs move in a straight line stopping just before the edge. I look down, and I don't even see the ground. Just the raging grey/blue of the rain, and the darkness of the tower. My heart beat's not rising though, like I feel it should be. I'm not freaking out at the extreme height, I'm not shivering at the cold. I __**want **__to be out here. And then it happens, and somehow I didn't see it coming. I step off._

I scream. It's not a noise that would usually ever pass through my mouth. But it sounds familiar. All too familiar. It's the sound of my mum. Only now I realise my body is as tense as metal, I'm sat rigid in bed, my heart not beating the steady beat in my nightmare, beating at least… 2.37 times as fast. And my skin, soaked with sweat, pouring down my neck, my face, my hair my back, even my legs and feet damp. I'm reaching a feverish temperature, and I only start to calm down when I realise, I'm in my bed, in my room, my bookcase blocking the door, my desk covered in used parchment, new parchment, ink, quills and more books, my wardrobe ajar, the door to my bathroom closed.

My breath turns into a gasping panting noise, and I taste salty tears on the corners of my mouth. This can't be happening.

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	14. Chapter 14

I didn't get any more sleep that night. I didn't even try to. I turned the lights on, suddenly afraid of the empty darkness in my own room. I read. I've read quite a lot of books, all about wild creatures, unusual spells, new concepts… I think I want to start reading some stories. You know, like the stuff muggles read. Anyhow, I wasn't going to step out of my room until it was light.

When it came to around six, I stopped reading and had a shower. I must be having way too many. Afterwards I change into a blue jean tank top and some grey/black jeans. I think of going down to breakfast with Remus, but Regulus' words haunt me. Instead, I hurry to the kitchens, where I'm greeted by many house-elves.

"Good Morning Miss Zamora!" They chorus and I smile sweetly.

"Good morning Wells, Minxy, Dally, Rinner and Slelly!" I answer brightly, remembering all their different names. I go through the kitchens greeting the house-elves I had seen before, and learning the names of new ones.

"Hello there!" I say to a house-elf I haven't seen before.

"Good M-Morning M-Miss Zamora." The elf is particularly small compared to the others and is currently handling quite a big saucepan.

"Here, Let me help you with that…?" I say, offering my hands out to the elf.

"… Lexy." The little elf says nervously. I smile and she hesitantly hands the pan over and I take it to the other side of the kitchen for her.

"Miss Zamora! Can we do anything for you today?" Hetchly, one of the more senior house-elfs asks politely.

"Thank you Hetchly, just some breakfast would be fine… some French toast perhaps?" I wonder aloud. Hetchly nods and I go back to Lexy.

"So Lexy, how long have you been at Hogwarts?" I ask sensitively.

"… 3 weeks miss." She replies, again, hesitantly.

"How nice! Do you like it here? Do you like all the cooking and cleaning?" I ask, and she nods, unable to contain herself this time.

"Very much miss! Though I must say the Gryffindors leave the biggest messes after themselves." She mutters, then places a hand over her mouth in shock.

"I am s-sorry m-miss! I don't know what came over me-" Lexy stutters, eyes wide with shock.

"Do not worry Lexy! And I must say, I do agree. Out of all of the houses the Gryffindors must make the most mess." I say thoughtfully, and Lexy's eyes soften.

"Really miss? You will not…?" She asks with curiousity.

"Yes it is quite all right! Thank you Hetchly." I say thankfully as Hetchly hands me my food. I sit down in the corner and eat my food, trying to get Lexy to open up a bit more. She's quite an anxious house-elf, and relatively young, so I wonder if she had a previous employer.

"So Lexy, did you have a previous employer?" I ask hesitantly, knowing some elves can become very distressed at the mention of failed jobs.

"…Yes miss." She sniffs briefly. "Lexy did wrong… Lexy spoke out against the master… She said horribly, unrightly things… but Lexy is better now." She ends with a certain determination in her voice, as if she wanted to completely move on. If only I had that courage.

"Of course Lexy. And I don't wish to put you into dismay, but if you were sorted, your bravery would've put you in Gryffindor I think." I say, smiling at her. She smiles back sheepishly.

"I like to think so too Miss." I hear Lexy mutter.

"I must get going now Lexy, I have a Transfiguration essay to finish. But if your ever around Gryffindor tower, don't hesitate to come and see me if you want to." I say, standing up and holding a hand up to her.

"Of course Miss Zamora."

After I leave the kitchens, I begin to walk back to the common room. As soon as the house-elves cheery nature disappeared from around me, my head became clouded with worry and cautiousness. I was not daring enough to even try and think of a way to get out of this yet. And I know if Regulus tells anyone, it will spread so fast, and I will be dead within a week. Death. I've never really thought about the prospect of it. When I was younger, even though my mother instructed me to stay inside the cottage, I always ventured into the forests, wishing for the fresh air.

_James and Sirius walk round the corner, chatting more discreetly than usual…_

The image flashes into my eyes and I stop in my tracks, quickly checking for people around me. I was in a deserted corridor, but I could suddenly hear James' voice from round the corner. _Be claws. _I feel the transformation easily, the pain that used to tear me apart having subsided slowly after transforming enough times. I blend in with the walls, just as James and Sirius come round the corner. What were they doing here?

"Seriously dude, she's been in isolation for fifteen years and you think she'll take that well?" James tells Sirius.

"She blew me off, I was just… dealing with it." Sirius answers stubbornly. I try not to growl.

"According to her, she didn't blow you off. She did have a sprained ankle you know." James argues for me, my heart softens slightly. "And your way of "dealing with it" is not exactly… nice. You're lucky she left before Kitty came up and kissed you."

I stop. … This…. Kitty kissed Sirius. They kissed… It doesn't matter. It's not like I can stay his secret girlfriend anymore… or James' fake girlfriend.

"I guess… I just hope we can find her. Not in her room, not in the great hall, not in the library… where else would she go?!" Sirius carries on awkwardly.

"Anywhere, this is Azzy we're talking about, if she doesn't want to be found, she won't be. Especially with Claws." James answered. "But Padfoot, she's my friend too, and last night was really, not good."

I hurry away, pouncing through the hallways. They said they'd already checked the Library, that means I could go there now. I transform as soon as a vision tells me of a person coming round the corner, and I walk swiftly to the Library. I stay to the corners, not walking in a straight line, not talking to anyone, not making any eye contact. Easy enough to keep unnoticed. I step into the Library, and go up to Madam Pince.

"Azalea Zamora, it's nice to see you, you are the Gryffindor who graces these rooms more than anyone in the last weeks." Madam Pince exclaims, coming up to me gracefully.

"Thank you Madam Pince. I was wondering, do we have any Muggle Fiction books here? I wanted to try broadening my repertoire." I explain, and she smiles.

"Of course, far lane on the left. That whole aisle, I'm sure you'll find something of interest. If in doubt just start with some of the Muggle Classics." I smile and bow my head slightly, before going off to the appointed aisle. Wuthering Heights… Oliver Twist… Great Expectations… Oh, The Hobbit. That sounds interesting… I think I'll take it. Looks like a nice long read, exactly what I need.

After loaning the book out, I change into Claws a few corridors away, and go back to my room. I read for… hours, and hours, at least 4. And I'm still barely half way through the hobbit, and I thought I was a fast reader! There's so much extensive detail, with a perfect adventurous story line.

It's about 6 now… and I'm starting to get hungry. I'm about halfway through the hobbit now, and I've done all my homework. I should probably go and eat something… I can go and see Lexy again… That could work. I change into claws in my room and leave through the common room, and head straight for the kitchen, blending in with the walls. I transform back outside the painting of the bowl of fruit, and tickle the pear quickly, wary of anyone coming to talk to me. Luckily the painting swings open before I even hear any footsteps.

"Miss Zamora! It's nice to see you again!" The house elves turn their heads towards me, and chorus their welcome.

"It's nice to see you all too." I answer, and see Lexy beaming over by her usual cooking station.

"Hey there Lexy, how's your day been?" I ask, going up to her.

"Very well miss, it's quite busy here, but Lexy likes all the work!" Lexy answers, moving away from her station. "Did Miss want to talk to me?"

"Actually yes… I was wandering earlier, when you spoke about your previous employer…" Her face pales and her features freeze, but I carry on boldly. "… do you mind me asking who it was? I just… I want to make sure that they know they should miss you."

"They won't miss me miss. They have plenty of other house-elves. They all to their work perfectly. Not like Lexy. Lexy did badly, Lexy had to iron over her hands, Lexy had to hit herself against the wall, Lexy was barred from work for days!" Lexy's voice comes out strangled, her eyes focussing on one point on the floor.

"The Malfoy family are esteemed… so very esteemed… Lexy did badly, Lexy did badly! Lexy failed her work, Lexy didn't get enough punishment, but Lexy was freed! Lexy had to find other work Lexy…" Lexy carried on wailing out her words, and I sit her down on a nearby bench, trying to avoid the confused looks from the other house-elves. Malfoy family. I should've guessed. That foul evil little cockroach… He will suffice for now. My anger stirs up, but all the house-elves are staring at Lexy as she brings herself to tears. I can already see there's nothing to bring her back to her senses at the moment.

"Lexy, you sit here, have a drink, and all will be well." I say calmly, but the other house-elves stare at me, when I stand up I think it through. I can eat fast. I shouldn't disturb the house-elves further… they probably don't like me that much right now anyway…

"I'll just go now Lexy… you'll be okay."

That was close. I probably shouldn't have asked her that… I'm leaning my back against the painting of the bowl of fruit, taking a deep breath out. I hated Malfoy before, now I hate him even more. But that can wait. My stomach's really growling now, I should get some food. I'll just grab some and disappear, I'm sure it won't cause too much trouble.

My footsteps seem so much louder as I walk up to the doors of the great hall. As the four tables, busy with people come into view, I pause slightly in the doorway. The candles were lit, tables filled, people chatting and eating. You could see the diversity. Ravenclaws just eating, with a book by their side, Hufflepuffs eating and chatting kindly to their neighbours, Slytherins eating very civilizes, probably talking in some posh pureblood manner, and Gryffindors, stuffing their faces while talking with their mouthful. I spot Regulus on the Slytherin table, looking at me with a welcoming smirk, and then I see James, Sirius, and Pete, all eating loudly while Remus is a little more neat next to them.

I don't go up to either of them. I just hurry and walk along the long Gryffindor table, stopping next to Lily Evans group (to my horror), and quickly levitating some chicken legs, salad, and bread with my wand and turning as fast as I can, but the people I wished wouldn't see me due to their stuffing of faces, caught up to me faster than I would've thought.

"Azzy! Where have you been?" James asks loudly, putting a hand on my arm.

"We've been looking for you all day!" Sirius says, almost alarmed.

"They were thinking of ambushing you tonight in your room!" Pete adds in, standing by their side.

"Which is of course ridiculous…"Remus exclaims, shaking his head.

"I've been various places, now will you please excuse me." I say politely, and turning on my heel.

"Az?" Sirius asks in concern.

"Babe, what's the matter?" James asks, and my insides cringe and I purse my lips not to burst out laughing at the "babe" motion. James moves closer, taking me into a sort of embrace.

"James, I need to leave." I say.

"Sirius is sorry for what he did-" James tells me, Sirius having to stand away from us.

"Well it's not about that!" I snap at him, and frowns.

"Azzy, what are you talking about?" James asks and I almost faint at the voice I hear from behind me. A lot of the people around us, including Gryffindors, Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs are all looking in our direction.

"Everything, Potter. Azzy why don't you explain." Regulus says smoothly. I look back at him and turn to James, trying to look as if I have a bitchy face on. At least I think…

"James, let me go." I say slightly scared of myself. No… I can't be doing this… Please, I send Regulus a pleading look, but he just smirks. James, Sirius, Remus and Pete all give me a questioning look.

"Carry on Azzy dear." Regulus says, and I see Sirius grimace.

"He's right James, let me go." I say, a little more forcefully. I hope they don't see my heart quivering with fear inside me.

"What? Azzy, what is he talking about-" Sirius asks, unable to restrain from asking questions.

"He's telling the truth." I snap, now looking at them with a cold, Slytherin like stare. They look shocked at the transformation. Regulus' words echo in my head…" You won't even talk to any of them. Not that idiot Lupin and mouse boy either. You can only talk to who I tell you to. You will stay around me. You will do what I say. Or I will tell everyone about your secret."

"We're done James… It was fun… I guess. It used up enough of my time… sorry… though I guess I'm not. You just got boring. All of you. Seeya… oh sorry… You won't be seeing me." I try to say in the most Slytherin bitch way I can think of, imagining perhaps Greengrass' or Montague's sneer. I turn on my heel and Regulus is looking at me proudly.

"I knew you were a perfect Slytherin at heart… come with me…" He says, putting his arm around me, purposely bringing his wand with him. He mutters what I know to be a counter curse for my concealment spell, and I feel the people near me gasp as the marks he gave me last night are revealed. I know he's bringing me to the Slytherin table, but I turn and stop him.

"Please… I have to finish that Transfiguration essay… I don't want to fail my OWLS." I say innocently, kissing him on the cheek, glancing over his shoulder to look at the awe-stricken faces of a lot of Gryffindors. Mostly the boys, members of the Quidditch team, Dan and Thomas… nothing compared to Sirius though. My expression doesn't falter though, and WHILE Regulus is surprised by my soft kiss, I turn fast and whip out of the hall before anyone can say a word.

My heart is dragged down in sadness, and worry as I hurry back to my room, a sobbing mess. I don't have the energy or the will to transform into Claws, and since everyone's at dinner, the corridors are empty. I whimper out the password to the fat lady, she frowns at me before swinging open, and I sprint to my room, and block the door with at least seven spells. And a bookcase. I seal the window, and quickly let my clothes fall of me, and I drag myself into the shower. I try to lose myself in the usually relaxing water, but my head keeps on pounding, my mind filled with the spiteful words I'd just said to them. To my friends.

I force myself out of the shower, and put some underwear on, not bothering with a bra since I won't be coming out for hours, and shrug on the largest sweatshirt I own; a scarlet one with long sleeves that go down to mid-calf. Then I slop myself down on my bed, and cry. The tears fall out, and I keep on summoning glasses and glasses of water to keep me hydrated, as they fuel more tears to fall. The only good thing I can find out of this mess, is that Project Fate is still underway. After hours of crying, I look at the clock and it's 11:30, and I manage to drag my quill out on my desk and a scrap piece of parchment.

_Don't waste my sacrifice_

_Az xxx_

I levitate the small note out of the window, letting my hair fly behind me as I lean out the window, floating it through their lower window, dropping it onto James' bed. They'll find it in the morning. _What will they do when they find it? _I ask into my head/

D_an and Thomas are already out the door, and James reveals the small note to his three friends._

"_Fuck my brother. Let him go to all seven hells!" Sirius yells into the room, shoving a stack of books beside his bed onto the floor._

"_We don't even know what she did… or what happened…" Remus says sadly._

"_I'm more pissed at the fact that… she may've left, for me. To be with Lily. Of course there's more to it… but what's missing? Why is she with your brother? None of it makes sense…" James mumbles…_

I bow my head after the vivid vision, and I can't find any happiness within me. My heart's sinking down to my feet, and I can't think of anything to stop it. My feet quiver, and I slump onto my bed, the exhaustion from the emotional stress, and all the crying, washes over me, and I fall to sleep.

_I'm walking down a corridor recognisable by the portrait of the massive dog on my left. My footsteps don't sound and my legs are moving automatically, as though moving on orders like a robot of some sort. I come to some metal stairs, and though I know I'm barefoot I don't feel the flash of cold, skin against metal that I should feel. The tick of the clock on the astronomy tower mustn't be working, because even though I see the hands moving normally, I don't hear anything. It's just… silent. And then I hear it. The heavy thumping of my chest. My heart beating loudly in my ears, drumming on them as if trying to break my eardrums._

_ I begin moving up the stairs, and I couldn't even call it walking, it's so robotic. My hands don't skim the cold freezing railing like they usually do, though I hear the back of my mind screaming for something to wake me up from this dream. I reach the top, and it's raining violently, lightning but no thunder. I see the raindrops slapping against the edge of the floor, but hear nothing. And I'm only looking straight ahead. I try to think to myself, I try to tell my body to go back inside and get warm, because even though I don't feel it, I know my hands are numbing from the cold hard air._

_ I know my mind is screaming something, but I don't acknowledge it at all. I legs move in a straight line stopping just before the edge. I look down, and I don't even see the ground. Just the raging grey/blue of the rain, and the darkness of the tower. My heart beat's not rising though, like I feel it should be. I'm not freaking out at the extreme height, I'm not shivering at the cold. I __**want **__to be out here. And then it happens, and somehow I didn't see it coming. I step off._

My breath comes out in sobs, and my cheeks are stinging from the salty tears down my face. The same dream. The same dream. My hearts hammering and I can't stop the pounding headache, I stumble out of my bed, and out to the bathroom, but my legs collapse, and I'm only using my arms to drag me to the sink. The tears are still streaming down my face, my mouth making strangled sobs without my knowing and I reach for the tap. I reach, but my hands drop due to lack of energy. I black out… after another intense nightmare. Exactly the same. This can't be happening.

**Please Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

I deal with the dream the same way I had the night before. I took a shower, turned the light on, and read. And then, as soon as it looked light enough outside to get up, I did. I got changed into my school robes, and put all my books in my satchel. Then I read some more. I needed this distraction. But now I think about it… He told me I had to stay away from them. I wasn't allowed to talk to them, sit with them, make eye contact, or anything. But he never said anything about avoiding him as well.

My mind's made up. Even if he does find me, I can just say I thought he wanted me to stay away from everyone, including him. I can eat every day in the kitchens, and turn up late to every lesson, and leave earliest. A boring life is better than no life at all… at least I'm pretty sure it is.

I hurry to the kitchens, and get something to eat without talking to the house elves. Then, I turn up 2 minutes late for Charms. Then, I leave my seat before we're dismissed, and walk as fast as I can, the long way round to Transfiguration. I'm about to turn the next corner when…

_"Azzy! What the hell has been wrong with you?!" Sirius yells, pinning me to the wall after coming round the corner._

I quickly transform into Claws, and camouflage myself into the walls. I watch him sadly as he walks straight past me, a serious look on his face, not even noticing me. Shortly after he's gone, I transform back, and head straight into the classroom, feeling completely empty inside. The lesson passes and I'm soon jumping off my seat, and going back to the kitchens to eat lunch. Then, I head to the library and quickly sketch a plan for the Charms essay on how Charms are discovered, before going late to Ancient Runes.

As soon as I see Remus, my insides squirm. He looks up at me and I look away, sitting at the back of the class, whereas he's at the front. He looks tired, and shabbier than usual. It's not even been a week since the full moon, and it's already getting worse. I can't imagine what being a werewolf would be like. I manage to make it through the lesson, but I know my head's not where it should be. My eyes are tired from my sleepless night, and my mind is too busy on… all the other stuff.

The lesson ends promptly though and I scramble out, narrowly avoiding Remus by turning into Claws. This is torture. I go to my next lessons, and then go back to the kitchens for some food, before locking myself in my room. I do my Charms essay, some research on the first runes, and once deciding how completely bored I am at 6 pm only, I get my cauldron out and my potions book. I make a quick batch of sleeping potion, but soon I realise that won't be enough to keep that nightmare away. I read through my advanced potions plus book, and find out the dreamless sleep potion is a sleeping potion, with a few added ingredients. However, there are ingredients I don't have, and I remember clearly how Sirius told me Professor Slughorn keeps exactly 4 different lock spells on the potion cupboard, each one more complicated than the other.

So, I order the ingredients by owl post, and I guess I'll have to do with Wake-up potion until the ingredients come. I make a batch, getting out Great Expectations while it simmers for an hour and a half. When it's finished I package it away into vials, and look at my clock. Around nine. What am I going to do all night. I face-plant myself into my bed, but quickly hop off before I can close my eyes. I can't bear to go through that nightmare again. I catch sight of my broom, tucked away beside my wardrobe, and go to pick it up.

I'm flying around the lake, going as fast as I ever have, the wind slapping into my face, keeping my eyes wide open. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to fall asleep while flying fast. I flash down to the lake, letting my hands trail against the surface of the water the way I like it, spiralling on my broom, doing tricks and flips to my hearts content. Except for the fact my muscles are growing sloppy, and I can feel the weight on my shoulders. It must be at least two now. I've been out here for hours, and even though I'm wrapped up in a long sleeve and a woolly jumper, my arms are starting to grow numb. My hands must've gone numb at least an hour and a half ago.

I get back to my room as soon as the sun rises, and I shower, change back into school robes, and take some wake-up potion. And so, another day starts.

I go through three days like that. Three days. The same, evasive manoeuvres… I'm pretty sure no one knows what it really feels like until you experience it. But I can handle it. It's for the best. I don't get killed, after all. But somehow, after three days, I manage to find something to smile about.

I jump through the portrait hole as Claws, feeling a usual tingle that goes through me as my fur changes colour. And I see them.

"Yeah, the hex is easy as soon you get the wrist motion." I see James in front of the sofa, Sirius lounging on the sofa. And of all people, Lily Evans, standing there with her wand, twirling it about as James corrects her movements.

"You have no idea how humiliating it's been. Already in fifth year, and I still haven't mastered the bat-bogey hex. And most hexes… and curses. All the offense in Defence against the Dark Arts really isn't for me." She answers, before doing a completely correct flick to the opposite wall.

"You got it! You have to think of it nothing serious, but of course there are wizards out there who won't hesitate to try and kill you. It's merely a precaution." James answers smoothly. Such a charming ladies man.

They sit down on the sofa, Lily sitting in between Sirius and James. I prowl up quietly, unseen of course, and sit down comfortably behind the armchair Rem usually sits on.

"So I was wondering… its still two weeks away… but would you like to go to Hogsmead with me?" James asks, scratching the back of his neck nervously. She looks surprised, but then smiles sweetly.

"I'd love to! We can go to Madam Puddifoots, and walk through town…" James has a grin plastered on his face, as he listens to the details Lily was going on about. I smile. He finally got his chance. He'll go on the perfect date.

I can't stop smiling… until I realise. Everything she's describing… it's what we did on our fake date. They'll kiss for 8 minutes 57 seconds… just as we did. And they'll sit together in lessons, spend time together in the common room, and… she's sitting right there. Right where I used to sit. My heart sinks I mile further. This is what I wanted. I wanted them to be together, for her to become part of their group. This is what I wanted. I feel tears welling p in my eyes and take in a sharp breath, and look at Sirius. He has a glum look on his face. He's looking down at the floor, not even doing anything.

"Sirius, why do you look so down?" Lily's voice comes out from nowhere, and he's startled out of his gaze. "What's the matter? You've been half-asleep for the last few days, you haven't even said anything… well gross." She says, frowning.

"Nothing to worry about…" He mutters turning away. I look down at the floor.

"James!" I hear Sirius suddenly yelp, and I look up. Both James and Sirius are staring right at me. I'm still camouflaged though. I stare back at them in shock, as Lily is looking at them both, completely confused.

"What…?!" Lily says, but I've pounced out of my position, and have taken the direct route, climbing over the sofa, using Sirius' shoulder as a push-off point.

"Get her James!" Sirius yells, and I hear them scrambling after me. The spiralling stairs to my room are empty, so I transform back in order to say the password into my room. As I spin into my room, I see one last look of Sirius, sprinting to my door, before I close it on him.

I flash my wand out and put all the protective spells on it. But I still hear the banging.

"Az! Open up! Please Az!" I hear Sirius yell, and my eyes tear up, and I sink down to the floor, the tears already falling rapidly.

"Azzy! Open this door right now before we blow it up!" James' voice adds to the mix.

"Honestly James, this is Azzy, she's probably shielded it from Bombarda, as she has put all those other protective spells on it." Remus remarks.

"Yeah!" I hear Pete. I smile at Remus' comment, before breaking down more.

"Az… please, I can hear you… please for me…" I hear Sirius pleading, and hastily cast a silencing spell on myself. I can't hear the tears out loud anymore, but they're screaming out in my head. They stop after that. I almost wish they hadn't. But of course I can't.

More days go by, and I'm even more careful about where I go. I don't even risk eavesdropping on the Marauders anymore, I just foresee anything important they talk about. But a week after seeing James with Lily, my other nightmare finds me.

"Azzy!" I'm in the library, looking for more books to read, and I make myself turn around to the voice.

"Regulus." I say softly, before turning back around to look through the books. I feel his hands shape around my waist.

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages." He murmurs into my ear, and I try not to shudder.

I turn around, trying to create more space between us.

"What do you mean? I've been having to eat at the kitchens because I can't go near Gryffindors, go to lessons late and leave early, and other than that I've just been spending time in my room and here of course. I even sent Leo a note to quite the Quidditch team." I tell him innocently, frowning a bit to try not to give it away.

"Well that's great… but why don't you come and sit with me at meal times." He says, and I draw in breath. "I'd hate to think of you being completely alone all the time. Plus we get to see each other."

"But… the other Slytherins won't like me Reg... " I say, reaching for an excuse.

"Don't worry about them. I have some power over them, they listen to most purebloods."

"What about Malfoy? And Snape? They hate my guts." I argue softly, trying to seem anxious.

"They owe me a favour. Plus I'm sure once we show them the real you they'll be so jealous of how I got you." He replies easily. I'm not getting out of this. The real me isn't getting out of this. I nod subtly, and he smiles.

"Good. Make sure you're there Azzy." He says while leaving me, but there's a tone to his voice that tells me he absolutely means it.

That night, I hurry back to my bedroom, books in hand. Too exhausted from my mind, I sink onto my bed, enjoying the comfort…

_I'm walking down a corridor recognisable by the portrait of the massive dog on my left. My footsteps don't sound and my legs are moving automatically, as though moving on orders like a robot of some sort. I come to some metal stairs, and though I know I'm barefoot I don't feel the flash of cold, skin against metal that I should feel. The tick of the clock on the astronomy tower mustn't be working, because even though I see the hands moving normally, I don't hear anything. It's just… silent. And then I hear it. The heavy thumping of my chest. My heart beating loudly in my ears, drumming on them as if trying to break my eardrums._

_ I begin moving up the stairs, and I couldn't even call it walking, it's so robotic. My hands don't skim the cold freezing railing like they usually do, though I hear the back of my mind screaming for something to wake me up from this dream. I reach the top, and it's raining violently, lightning but no thunder. I see the raindrops slapping against the edge of the floor, but hear nothing. And I'm only looking straight ahead. I try to think to myself, I try to tell my body to go back inside and get warm, because even though I don't feel it, I know my hands are numbing from the cold hard air._

_ I know my mind is screaming something, but I don't acknowledge it at all. I legs move in a straight line stopping just before the edge. I look down, and I don't even see the ground. Just the raging grey/blue of the rain, and the darkness of the tower. My heart beat's not rising though, like I feel it should be. I'm not freaking out at the extreme height, I'm not shivering at the cold. I __**want **__to be out here. And then it happens, and somehow I didn't see it coming. I step off._

I scream this time, shattering the night air. My face is already dripping wet with tears, my breath already ragged. It's been the same one since that first night. Every single night. How can I have the same reoccurring dream every night? The normal sleeping potion doesn't stop it. Hopefully, tonight I'll be able to sleep with the Dreamless sleep potion in me. The owl with the ingredients was late, it got caught up in a fight with a trespassing owl. But the contents of the package came out just okay.

I take a usual gulp of Wake-up potion, before getting changed with the energy it gave me. My shoulders are drooping from my non-existent sleep. I trudge out of my room late, knowing I couldn't risk bumping into any of the others. I walk through the empty corridors, normally full of busy students, now just abandoned. As I step slowly towards the massive doors of the great hall, I peak through the gap, see a flash of red and gold, and step back. I have to do this.

As confidently as I can, I step into the great hall, and at first no one notices me. Then I start walking round to the Slytherin table. I hear gasps follow me, and as I get closer to the Slytherin table, cold stares approach me from most students.

"Let her through boys, she's with me." I hear Regulus' voice and look away instinctively, before I feel hands on my shoulders, guiding me to sit down. I still hear the whispers from here. I look up slowly, to see two of the nastiest sneers facing me.

"This, is who you were talking about?" Snape asks sarcastically.

"No, absolutely not! She cannot stay here!" Malfoy proclaims. Please let them convince him.

"You owe me that favour. And she thinks she was stupid to do all those things to you. You've got to admit, those pink robes were rather dashing." Regulus argues, but completely unbothered by their words. Snape and Malfoy look outraged by his words, and I try to find a perfectly good reason for them to kick me out.

However, the table stays quiet from them, so I begin to pick small pieces of food onto my plate, eating them in the most civilised manner that I can muster. Suddenly, Regulus puts his arm around my waist, and slides me onto his lap. I almost yell out in surprise, but stop myself just in time. I look to him for his cause of doing this, as it's most uncomfortable compared to Si… all the other laps I've sat on. He just looks his normal innocent self.

I look around and- I've found my cause. My heart rate quickens as I see Remus, Pete, James and Sirius all staring at me. Our eyes all link, and my mouth opens with no words. I see Sirius starting straight towards me, but James puts a hand out in front of him and they start to argue. I can't hear what they're saying, but I can bet they're weighing the chances of coming to see me the first time I've come into the open. They seem to have made a decision, but Sirius is shaking his head. My shoulders droop an inch further. They're not coming. Suddenly I hear a crash, and I look up and Sirius is barging his way towards us, pushing past people. Suddenly his wand is out and he's cast a non-verbal spell I DON'T KNOW at the table, and we all get blasted away, scattering on the floor.

I feel a grip on my arm and I'm being dragged through the side doors of the Great hall. As soon as we get out of the doors I find my footing and being to walk with Sirius to wherever he's talking me. As he's not letting go of the death grip on my arm, and walking is a lot more comfortable than getting dragged. I don't even know where we are by the time we've stopped. It must be somewhere in the West wing, as I don't see many classrooms nearby as he drags me into a broom closet.

I open my mouth to try and find some words to say, but he engulfs me in a hug, my face on his chest, his arms holding me strongly. Instantly, my arms tighten around him, and I squeeze my arms together, my breath turning ragged and I feel my eyes water.

"Az… my beautiful girl." Sirius murmurs into my hair, and I sob into his chest.

"Sirius… I've missed you so much." I whisper, unable to control my words.

"I'm so sorry for that night…" He says. I forgot about that, and I stiffen slightly in his grip. "I was confused, I didn't realise how stupid I was being. No girl matters to me but you, I should have realised I had been hurting you, I just…"

"I know Sirius… It's fine."

"You have to come back Azzy… " He replies, and I look up at him.

"Sirius… I can't." I say, and he stares at me incredulously.

"What does he have on you Az? I would've understood about the breaking up with James, but no one's seen a hair from you. Last week was all we saw of you, and we didn't even see you. You quit quidditch! We can't even get to you in lessons!" He complains, and I look away.

"Sirius, I just can't okay? I miss you like hell, but I can't be here with you. I can't talk to any of you, I can't even look at any of you." I tell him, and he just looks more incredulous.

"Why?! Azzy… I'm dying here. I've not been eating properly, I haven't had my mind in class, I got hit by a bludger in practice. Please…" He begs, taking me back into his arms. "Please…" He murmurs, and before I know it he's lowered his lips to mine, and I can't stop myself from kissing back. My head loses its prior thoughts, it all blurring into mist as my thoughts of Sirius come in. My arms wrap around his neck, my hands raking through his hair.

His tongue fights its way to meet with mine, and I moan as he starts nudging my shirt up, and I feel his familiar warm fingers on my cold stomach. It's been so long, I've never been able to resist feeling like this… just with him. But as he pulls away for air, reality seeps back into my mind, and my mother's scream from the nightmare echoes through my mind. Just as he comes bac for more-

"No!" I yell, pushing away from him, leaning against the wall for support.

"Sirius… please. I want to be with you. You can't think this isn't killing me as much as it is you… It hurts me more Sirius." I say, turning away. "This thing… it's bigger than just us. This is important. If I don't do this, terrible things could happen. Not just hurting me, it- dark wizards, like the ones James said we had to be prepared for, they could gain power… I can't I just can't!"

"Sirius, you were wondering what my secret was. What's my werewolf bite. My werewolf bit is nothing, like a werewolf bite. It's good, it's a fortune, it's not a nasty curse on me from the past. It's something I was given to by my mother. My secret, it's a secret. In this world, it doesn't exist. No one knows of it. You have to let me go Sirius…" My voice is whimpering now. "Or bad things will happen." I transform into Claws quickly, while Sirius is standing there shocked, and I pass him one sad look before camouflaging and sprinting off into the castle, where I would just walk round in circles, leaving a trail of tears behind me.

**Please Review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Things get worse after that. I go to every meal with Regulus, listening to him and his friends chatter on about how much they hate my friends, forcing me to nod along. I thought things were bad before, but seeing Sirius, being with him, reminded me of how much I loved him. How much I loved all of them. Luckily the ingredients for the dreamless sleep potion came though, and I made a large batch the morning after me and Sirius… talked. Yet another thing though… after talking with him, I started to notice everything he did more, instead of ignoring them completely, and I noticed how… odd he was acting. There were signs of stress all over his body, heavy bags under his eyes, and I heard Professor Slughorn give him a lecture on just how bad his last homework essay was.

Before, I planned out every move I would make, and know exactly what I was doing, but now everything just washes by. I don't recognise anything. My brain works on every day actions on its own, which means hopefully no one has noticed how grim my mind actually is right now.

One and a half weeks have passed now, and I'm barely eating at all. I go to meals, but I don't have an appetite. Watching James and Sirius stuffing their faces, must have made me want to eat, but now, I see Sirius barely touching his food. Thankfully James is still eating his usual amounts. Tomorrow is Saturday, and he'll get to bring Lily through Hogsmead, and hopefully share a kiss or two. He'll be happy, and will get what he wanted. Hopefully that should cheer me up, at least a bit.

It's Saturday morning, and I change into the first thing I can reach in my closet, a pair of dark navy skinny jeans and a thin mid-blue baggy jumper. Rather Ravenclaw of me, but today I can get an escape. At least a small one. Regulus hasn't mentioned anything about taking me anywhere, or ordering me to do something for him, so I'm leaving as soon as possible. I enchant my clothes and black and blue trainers so they can withstand transformation, and feel my stomach rumble. It happens all the time now, rather obviously, and I've lost all the puppy fat I didn't have, leaving my ribcage peeking through my skin.

I know it's not a good look, and definitely not healthy, but I never have an appetite. I step out of my door at 7 and mutter a disillusionment charm over myself, and stride fast out of the common room, passing a few people. I feel my stomach rumble and realise that if I don't want to collapse while visiting Hogsmead, I need to eat something. I head to the kitchens, and take the disillusionment charm off, and walk in, to be greeted by the house-elves.

"Good morning Miss Zamora!" They chorus.

"Good morning Wells, Minxy, Dally, Rinner and Slelly!" I reply, smiling at their enthusiasm. "Good morning Lexy!" I add seeing the little house-elf in the corner. She gives me an uneasy smile, and I realise now is not a good time to talk to her.

"Do you think I could have a small ham and cheese toastie Wells? I'm in a bit of a rush." I ask one of the managing house-elves.

"Off course, just wait a few minutes." He replies in his squeaky voice.

I take the toastie and put the disillusionment chamr back on as I eat it, walking to the terrace. As soon as I arrive, I see various groups of people all around, just as I did the morning of the Fate. I walk forward, and see James, dressed exactly as he was that morning, standing with Sirius, Remus and Pete. Sirius has a glum look on his face, but it suddenly turns to rage. I follow his gaze, and over on the other side, I see Regulus. He's smiling, with his friends. When he smiles like that it reminds me of when we were younger. I look back, and Remus is convincing Sirius to not pick another fight.

And then, for a moment, I think James is staring right at me, a grin on his face. I'm confused, but a flame lights in my heart. But then, I feel someone brush past my shoulder, and in a whirl of red hair, I see Lily Evans walk past, me, James' eyes locked on her. She's wearing a pretty green sundress, which matches her eyes. Unlike me, who just put on the first thing that came. I hear the carriages, that me along with Remus can see being pulled along by thestrals, and people start lining up. I can't get in one. People would notice. I see the gates open, and I realise that's the only way I can get out.

I transform into Claws, feeling my claws long and pointed from my paws. I feel energy pulse through me and launch forward into a sprint, running past the now only trotting thestrals. I camouflage as usual, but the thrill of running this fast, it's almost like riding a broom. I haven't done that in a while. I leap through the open gates, and find myself running through the trees, just like we did those nights with Remus. That was the best time of my life. I jump over a fallen tree as I remember, and push myself forward, following alongside the carriages but in the treeline, all the way to Hogsmead.

When I get there, I transform back, but take off the disillusionment charm. I don't want to risk anything. I'm done with risks, but I'm out of breath, and I don't like stealing drinks. I quickly get one from a nearby stall, before putting yet another disillusionment charm on, and looking around for James. I know it's weird, following my fake ex-boyfriend around with his new girlfriend… well I'm guessing they will be soon, but I need to make sure they get together. James will be happy, which means the group will be happier, which means I will be happier. I'm going to be the guardian of this relationship.

I spot them in the crowd, by Lily's bright hair. I can't hear what they're saying, but I follow at a distance, and they enter Madam Puddifoots. They go into the same window booth me and James were in on our date, and they start eating some treats. I sit down on a bench opposite, watching mildly as they chat. A small smile crawls onto my face. It's nice to see James happy. Just like he was when I first met him. Hopelessly in love with the girl he's now dating.

And, then, as I expected, they kiss, and I count every second. But then, the numbers leave my head, and the same feeling I felt when I saw them on the sofa together fills me up. She has taken my place. I'm now the one watching, on the sidelines. I'm the one feeling my heart torn open, watching something I'd die to be a part of. The only difference, is I chose to be in this position.

They leave not too soon after, but my will is gone. Instead of following them, I get up, dazed, and start wobbling my way to somewhere I don't even know. I'm wandering through the streets, and I feel shadows cast down on me, from the high walls. This is happening. It isn't a dream.

"Look who it is. Reg's pet." I turn around, and Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape are standing there, right behind me. I look down. My disillusionment charm must have worn off with all my thinking.

"Do you think he'd mind us borrowing her for a bit? You know, just knocking her around, just a bit." Snape sneers at me, and I take a step backwards.

"Oh, I don't think he'd mind, I mean we could do whatever we'd fucking like. We're senior to him anyway." Malfoy exclaims. I don't want to know what he's thinking. Suddenly, a rush of hormones hits me, and I can't be bothered to deal with this while I've got all this other stuff going on.

"Oh shut up you sadistic bastard. You can try, but I'm not in a good mood, so get out of my way." I say, my brow creasing.

In a whip they have their wands out, but I have mine too and as they cast their hexes a shield charm is up. They continue to cast a few more hexes, but my shield charm stays strong. But suddenly, the rage leaves me, and I feel a sudden weight on my shoulders. The next charm shatters my shield, but I hear a voice.

"Expelliarmus!" Malfoy's wand is whipped out of his hand, and my knees buckle as I see Snape go down too. I hear words, but I can't process them. I see three figures, but one stands out, ragged black hair, determination written on his face.

"Azzy, are you okay?" Pete asks, kneeling down next to me with Remus, as Sirius banishes the two bastards. I shake my head, and scramble backwards away from them, anxiety filling my head.

"Get away!" I say, forcing myself onto my feet. I lock eyes with Sirius, now coming straight towards me, questions in his eyes. "I can't tell you Sirius. You'll understand, one day you will." I say, before leaping and transforming into Claws, retreating from a war I caused.

I get back to the castle, and go to the Library, and start reading yet another Charles Dickens book. But nothing goes away. Usually I can banish my thoughts with something, especially a book, but it's not going away this time. My heart beat is going down at an alarmingly slow rate. I finish the entire book by the evening, and I haven't left the seat I sat down in at 11, after I got back from Hogsmead. Everyone will be back now. I stand up to put the book back, but as I slide the book back into place, I see Lily Evans, in the same aisle, staring right at me.

I turn away fast, hurrying out of the Library, turning corners abruptly. But she still manages to follow me.

"Azzy! Azzy stop!" She yells at me, catching my arm. I slow, but stay facing away. She turns me forcefully.

"Azzy… I heard the boys saw you earlier today." She says, slightly embarrassed about something. I nod slowly, but stay silent. I don't know what to say. This is just like the first time I stepped into the common room.

"Azzy, what are you doing?" I look up, slightly alarmed. "Why are you doing this. I don't know the whole story, but you've been avoiding all of Gryffindor. You sit at the Slytherin table. With Black's brother. You're hurting them Azzy." I hear her words like they're piercing my heart. I guess I've never really thought of it like that. I'm… hurting them?

"I know this isn't just the result of some silly break up between you and James. Remus has been… stressed. Pete has been more worried than usual. James is always wanting to spend time with me, but I think it's just because he wants something to distract himself. I've tried bringing up you, but he always panics and gets so defensive and freaked out. And… Sirius. I've never thought I'd miss the flirtatious, cocky person, the one who would break so many hearts, but… I think I'm worried about him. This change in character, it's not normal. It's like he's been around a dementor these last few weeks. And whenever I see you at class, you look… the same. Have you eaten at all?" As she says the words, realisation goes through me.

I've been trying to protect them. To protect the world. From what could happen with my powers. From the physical parts. But I'm still killing them. The looks of betrayal, and pain I saw in Sirius. The night he noticed me as Claws. His voice, raspy, begging. There's nothing good I can do. I'm hurting people either way.

"Don't you-" She starts another sentence, but I whip my wand out and cast a silencing spell on her.

"I need to talk to you. You're kind, caring. I know neither of us liked each other to begin with. But I'm glad you're here." I say quietly, my voice wavering. I can feel the tears, falling slowly onto my cheeks.

"Tell Sirius I love him." They drop onto the floor. "Tell all of them I love them."

I start taking a few steps back, as more tears come.

"Look after them for me." I say, looking at her directly in the eyes, before turning and running round the corner, transforming and blending into the walls. I hear the silencing charm wear off, and her shouts for me as I sprint away. I run straight to my room, transform back and tear my clothes off, now wet through with tears. I cast a silencing charm on the whole room, before shouting, screaming out.

"No!" I scream, as tears fall, and I curl up on the floor, damaged.

I drag myself up onto my bed eventually, clawing myself up using the covers. My sobs have quietened now, so dehydration and exhaustion hit me. At an all-time low, I fall asleep. And the dream comes just as fast.

_I'm walking down a corridor recognisable by the portrait of the massive dog on my left. My footsteps don't sound and my legs are moving automatically, as though moving on orders like a robot of some sort. I come to some metal stairs, and though I know I'm barefoot I don't feel the flash of cold, skin against metal that I should feel. The tick of the clock on the astronomy tower mustn't be working, because even though I see the hands moving normally, I don't hear anything. It's just… silent. And then I hear it. The heavy thumping of my chest. My heart beating loudly in my ears, drumming on them as if trying to break my eardrums._

_ I begin moving up the stairs, and I couldn't even call it walking, it's so robotic. My hands don't skim the cold freezing railing like they usually do, though I hear the back of my mind screaming for something to wake me up from this dream. I reach the top, and it's raining violently, lightning but no thunder. I see the raindrops slapping against the edge of the floor, but hear nothing. And I'm only looking straight ahead. I try to think to myself, I try to tell my body to go back inside and get warm, because even though I don't feel it, I know my hands are numbing from the cold hard air._

_ I legs move in a straight line stopping just before the edge. I look down, and I don't even see the ground. Just the raging grey/blue of the rain, and the darkness of the tower. My heart beat's not rising though, like I feel it should be. I'm not freaking out at the extreme height, I'm not shivering at the cold. I __**want **__to be out here. And then it happens, and somehow I didn't see it coming. I step off._

_I see Regulus' face, and a man, in a dark hooded cloak._

"_She's a seer…" Reg's voice rushes out, and my eyes widen._

_ "I can't believe this…" James shouts into their dorm room._

"_I just wish she would've done something… anything." Sirius murmurs, a tear streaking down his face._

_ A horde of black figures, billowing cloaks come towards an unsuspecting me, walking along a path in a forest._

I wake up, and take a deep breath. It's time. I slide out of bed, and walk over to my desk. I take out a piece of parchment, hands shaking. And I write, tears streaking down my face.

"Dear Marauders,

Meeting, and befriending you guys was probably the best time in my life. It's not as though I've lived a very long one, but it still counts. And now, I've got a lot to say.

Pete, you are the most bewildering person I've ever met. Your smart, and brave, you just need to believe it more. You just need to believe it.

Remus, you are the cleverest most sensibly brave person I've ever met. You can't let your furry little problem get in the way of anything you do. Yes, some people in our world oppose werewolves, but I'm very sure most, alike us, don't. People fear what they don't understand. Trust me, I know better than you'd think.

James, you are the bestest friend anyone could ask for. Hilarious, reckless, and carefree, yet so brave, and so willing to stand up for anyone. And the thought of you being with Lily, happy, makes me smile more than ever. And knowing I was part of what made that happen, makes me proud. Your life is heading exactly where it needs to go. You just need to stay on it, and be who you are, exactly the James I know.

Sirius. You are… I have no words to describe you. All I can think in my head is that I love you. I'm sorry for all the stupid things I've done, that have hurt you. The kiss with Regulus, and all those mistakes I've made. You need to higher your standards. Your family don't care? Of course they do. These people are your family. James, Remus, Pete. You deserve so much more than you've set out for. You deserve the best.

And I've come back in a full round to me. I'm sorry I haven't been able to be truthful with you, but hopefully this letter will make things right. At least as much as they ever will be. The first point, is that I'm a seer. My mother was as well, and she was murdered for it. She kept me away from all civilisation for it. What I can do, it's not bad, but bad people want it. And if they can't have it, no one can. Regulus knew of this, I told him when I met him all those years ago. That's why… all this madness occurred. But I've been seeing it for a while now. My gift isn't safe. It's getting out into the dark corners of the world, and people will come for it. I've been seeing what I must do. Sirius, I love you. I love you all. Stay safe for me. Goodbye."

I leave no name, and let it fly through my window into theirs. And as soon as it's done, I turn to the door. It's time.

I'm walking down a corridor recognisable by the portrait of the massive dog on my left. My footsteps don't sound and my legs are moving automatically, just as I remember from my dreams. I come to the metal stairs, and though I know I'm barefoot I don't feel the flash of cold, skin against metal that I should feel. I don't feel anything. I see the tick of the clock, hands moving, and welcome the normal feeling of no sound processing through my ears. And then I welcome the sound I always hear. The heavy thumping of my chest. My heart beating loudly in my ears, drumming on them as if trying to break my eardrums.

I begin moving up the stairs, and I'm not even doing it, it's just happening. My hands don't skim the cold freezing railing like they usually do, though I hear the back of my mind screaming for something to wake me up from this dream. But this time it isn't a dream. And I don't want to stop. I reach the top, and it's raining violently, lightning but no thunder. I see the raindrops slapping against the edge of the floor, but hear nothing. I don't feel the numbing of my hands and feet, or the droplets of water draining down me.

I remember me screaming at myself in the dreams, but now I understand. This is what I need. My legs move in a straight line stopping just before the edge. I look down, and I don't even see the ground. Just the raging grey/blue of the rain, and the darkness of the tower. I feel unusually calm, as if this was a routine, something I'd seen every night. I guess I have been.

Life. Death. Is there really much difference? I hope there is. I hope in death, no one's feelings can get hurt. I hope I forget. I hope they forgive. I know though, I know I'll never make those same mistakes again. There's a saying… Mistakes are made to be learnt from. It's true, but even if you learn from them, it doesn't change the damage they cause. The damage can't be undone. The damage I've caused. The damage that will cause my murder. All I know is that I will never set foot here again.

My mother was never afraid of death, and neither am I. It's just another step in the cycle. In movies, there's always those speeches, those last words heroes mutter as they fall into darkness. This is no movie, and I am definitely no hero. But I do have some words. Three words, counting the apostrophe. And I say them to the marauders.

"I'm sorry."

I suddenly hear violent steps ravenging up the stairs, and I turn around. A pale white face, black ragged hair framing its face, a look of terror filling it, letter in hand. Sirius. I step off.

**Please Review! Sorry this chapter has taken so long, but I wanted to get it perfect. And this isn't the end, but No one can ever Know!**


	17. Chapter 17

It felt like I was falling for ever. I never stopped falling. And those flashes of faces, carried on for what felt like hours. I just wanted it to stop. It all to just… stop. And it did. I expected it all to go black. But it went white. I counted the seconds, just like I always do. 4 hours, 44 minutes, and 3 seconds. Until I saw it. Just like every other vision I had had.

I saw a cloaked figure, dark magic radiating from him, heading towards a small cottage. And then I saw… an older James. And an older Lily. Then, a green light, and the life leaving James' eyes. If I could've screamed, I would've. After advancing up the stairs, I see a cot, and Lily, hushing the baby inside to stop crying. And then another green flash. And then another. But the baby. A lightning shaped scar, graced his features, on his forehead.

The vision changed, and I saw Sirius. Fighting with Peter. The explosion, and the little rat scurrying in the gutters. And then Sirius, chained to his cell in Azkaban, his face grey with wear.

And then Remus. Barely living, being what he was. Roaring painfully as his transformation occurred.

So much of me… was feeling so much pain in these images. But they weren't all. I saw the future. All of it. The same dark figure, killing Regulus. The same dark figure, with a snake by his side. The same dark figure. The visions went on for days. Every inch of every part of the future. Harry. The boy. James' boy. Fighting with the dark wizard. This boy, James and Lily had to die for. Otherwise, the wizard would have triumphed. A girl, with bushy hair, reading books by his side, and repairing his glasses. And a ginger boy, who I could vaguely recognise, eating a chocolate frog, showing Harry his cards. There were bits missing though. I couldn't see some parts. I saw Remus, grown up, at Hogwarts, and I saw Sirius free. But no more further than that.

And I realised, I had to know. I had to find out what these were. And I had to make sure they happened. The last part of the vision. It was a dark wasteland, all black. With the pale-faced, dark wizard, leading armies of all kinds, slaughtering everyone in their wake. I even saw Lucius Malfoy, and his son, being killed for their… I'm not even sure what. And those tattoos on their arms. Everyone good, was dead. And a voice rung out in my head.

"You must finish this. This barren wasteland of life can never happen. You are getting a second chance. You will always survive. You will have endless chances at life. But this atrocity, must never happen. And the rest of it. The boy. The deaths. The worry. It must all happen, for the end result to become clear. It is your job. Go…"

And I'm awake. My eyes flick open, and all I see around me is white stone. My wand is in my hand, but my skin is cold. I look exactly how I was when I died. Wearing the same clothes, the large navy nightshirt, and the black sleeping leggings I wore. My hair feels longer, but I may just not remember it as well. My body is the same age. I doubt more than a month has gone by since I passed away. And with one thought, I blast the coffin open. The light would've blinded me, if it weren't for all that time I spent look at a blank, white, nothing.

I'm exactly where I landed. I'm guessing. Right at the bottom of the Astronomy tower. I turn around, and see my tombstone.

"Azalea Claws Zamora

A friend to all,

A life that would have been worth saving."

I almost begin to tear up at the words, but then I remember my job. This was not what I was sent here to do. I was sent to be invisible. To correct all the things that begin to go wrong. And not to interfere. This isn't about me anymore, it's about the world. After, that is when I can settle.

"Reparo." I say clearly, my voice clean and crisp, as the coffin repairs itself. Oh great. Of course, you pass away, your clothes will disappear, your money disappears, your everything disappears. But then again, I guess the hardest thing to work with is that… PEOPLE THINK I'M DEAD!

Ugh, such a hassle. But then, anyone who does see me, can't realise it's me. If anyone does, they'll need to be able to keep their trap shut. They'd need to be loyal, and keep to everything I say. It would be useful, and-

"Lexy!" I say clearly, and the small house-elf apparatus in front of me. And then faints. Great.

"Lexy, it's okay, I'm alive, you're not hallucinating…" I say to myself, shaking the house-elf awake. How on earth am I going to be able to explain this to her.

"M…Miss Zamora!" As her eyes open, she stutters.

"Hi Lexy." I say, slightly unsurely. "It's good to see you."

"You… Miss, you were dead!" She exclaims, paling, and I hold her up as I begin to fear she will faint again.

"Yeah, but I'm alive now. I need your help." I say strongly, and she looks at me uncertainly. I try and explain as best I can, attempting to make sure she doesn't faint again. It's a lot to ask I guess.

"Miss wants…me to help?" She says uncertainly, and I nod.

"You're the only one I can trust. I don't know what anyone else would do if I told them." I tell her certainly.

"What is miss's plan? I would be happy to help in any way." She says after pondering my words.

"Thank you Lexy. And for now, it's just to wait. We have time. A lot of it. But in a few years, we will be very pressed for time." I say, a small smile coming onto my face.

A year has now passed since I died. Nothing has happened so far that I need to intervene with. The first month was by far the hardest. I found it surprisingly easy to set up my invisible life, seeing as I now have some new magic to play with. All it took was a flick of my hand and a few instructions to set up the most invisible, unknown account in Gringotts, seeing as now no one, not even the head goblin of Gringotts, actually knows about it. And wiping a memory was even easier than usual, and I could replace it with any memory I could think of. And it wouldn't even be noticeable by anyone. And from there my essentials were taken care of.

But the first few times I snuck into Hogwarts as Claws, I couldn't bare it. James, Sirius, Remus, and Pete had all lost their… light. They were walking around sleepless, and Lily was failing to even put a smile on James' face. And I couldn't step in. It would change too much. I'm glad I didn't see my funeral. I heard other students whispering rumours of how the strong, brave, marauders destroyed things, and just… lost it. One of them, which I hope isn't true, is that Sirius went missing for several days. And was found saying nonsense.

They got out of their funk though. They got back into their usual routine but… they had lost their charisma. I didn't see a single prank for 3 months. And that one was only small, making every single one of Regulus' quills break. They haven't done anything big scale whatsoever. And only 5 small ones in a year. But they are more sensible. They are all studying more, and not just taking everything for a laugh. Except well… Sirius. He's not studying more. But he's not his usual self. He hasn't been eating at all. He's been ill plenty of times. And he's late for every lesson, and nothing's working for him.

I would've thought it would've started to get better, but it hasn't. I don't exactly want to think about what he's doing… getting drunk, passing out instead of going to sleep. And… the girls. They are always around him, and he's such a jackass. Loads of them hit on him, try to get a quick kiss or a snog, but he just turns them away after hours of endless flirting. It's not as though I can watch it, but I know enough.

They all passed their O.W.L.S. though. James and Remus both with all outstandings apart from two exceeds expectations, James with an acceptable for divination. Funny, I never took that subject. Pete did very well as well, with all outstandings apart from 3 exceeds expectations and 2 acceptables. Sirius… passed. At least he got an outstanding in Transfiguration. Defence and Charms exceeds expectations. Astronomy and Potions acceptable. The rest… a mixture of acceptables, poor's, etc… It's their sixth year now, and I've come to watch their quidditch match against Slytherin. They found a replacement for me… Tom Xin, the now seventh year who trialled with me. He's okay.

"It's 110-20 to Slytherin, with the Gryffindor keeper not keeping up very well. What used to be the dynamic Gryffindor team is now a bit of a mess…" I hear the commentator and try not to feel guilty. I'm in my human form, but well cloaked in a black cloak at the back of the Ravenclaw stand. I didn't know any Ravenclaws so… The Slytherin chasers are coming back up to Xin, Regulus leading with the quaffle. I can at least pretend I'm still the keeper…right?

"Confundus." I mutter, and Xin catches Regulus' spin shot through the left hoop. See… oh damn it. Xin drops the quaffle almost immediately after I caught it for him, and Regulus has it back in his hands. Come on Gryffindor! Smash! Regulus falls of his broom from Sirius' bludger to his chest. Onyx catches the quaffle and it heads back down to Slytherin's end, Regulus unconscious. I'm sure Sirius enjoyed that. Without Regulus the Slytherin chasers will be slightly disarranged, which should pull up the chances of us winning.

"And another goal by Ender! After captain Black from Slytherin left the game, it's all been downhill for Slytherin, Gryffindor making up for their lost time. It's now 110, 120 to Gryffindor!" I hear the roar of the Gryffindor lion and put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from joining in.

"And look, Potter has spotted the snitch!" My eyes follow James sharply, and sure enough, the gold fleck is flying away from him, but he's closing the gap, the Slytherin seeker far behind. But I see one of the Slytherin beaters, who the hell cares what his name is, coming up to aim a bludger at James. With Leo at the other bludger, Sirius zooms over, closer to where I am to hit the bludger away. As he gets closer, I realise the Slytherin beater is too late anyway, James has caught the snitch! This time I can't hold back, I stand up on my feet and cheer loudly with the Ravenclaws. It's not like anyone would notice me, everyone's cheering… My hood falls behind my head and my hair begins to blow in the wind. I'm about to pull it back up but… he's already seen me. He stares straight at me, stopping in his tracks, mouth open and SMASH!

I pull my hood up as soon as possible, but change into Claws, camouflage, and pounce forward as he floats to the ground. My eyes starting to water I leap over the stands, invisible to the eye and fall over the edge, streamlining my sleek furry body and using my claws to grip onto his broom, while using my rear paws to hold an unconscious Sirius by his robes to stop him falling of his broom. We get to the floor and I see James whooshing straight down, faster than he did to get the snitch. I go up to Sirius' face, and nuzzle his neck, savouring every touch, every feeling it makes me feel. The tingling all over and my heart bursting. And then I pull away, and fall back into the shadows, pouncing faster, and fur clearer than any could see.

I follow secretly and wearily as Sirius is brought into the medical wing. It was risky enough to go to the quidditch match, and now coming in here… But he can't be allowed to know I'm alive. It could change everything. Yet I don't think I have the courage to erase his memory of seeing me.

"He'll be out for at least a few more hours Mr potter, most likely more. But you need not worry, he'll be alright in the morning." Madame Pomfrey explains to a still sweaty James, Lily, Remus and Pete.

"Are you sure?" Pete asks uncertainly.

"What's exactly wrong with him? I know he's been… distracted for a while but… it's not like him to stop in front of a bludger like that. Not without hitting it." Lily says confused. Me. That's what's been distracting him. It can't be allowed to go on like this. It could easily change everything. And I don't want him to go on suffering like this. I have an idea.

"Off you go, it's late already, 10 o'clock to precise, and you still haven't changed!" Madame Pomfrey shouts, and they all flee the room. At 10:40, after treating Sirius with some sort of cream I can't be bothered to recognise, Madame Pomfrey leaves as well. I make sure the doors are locked from the inside, putting every protective spell I know, and some as I like to call it destiny magic on the doors. No one will be able to come in. No one will even try to come in. If they have a train of thought to come in, they will forget they did.

Luckily Regulus was the only other person hurt, and he left hours ago. Just Sirius. I change into myself and remove my cloak, leaving it on a chair. I'm dressed in a black and scarlet lace dress with a cage neckline, coming down to lower thigh with some black tights and a black cardigan. Not something I'd usually wear, but I wanted to be red. And dangling from my neck is a chain with two silver rings on it, both identical with silver details, but one with a small ruby on it and one with a small topaz on it. I got it the first week I got back, I found it in the vault I was given when I put some money in there.

"Sirius." I whisper, shaking his arm gently. He stirs, and I take a few steps back, and he sits up.

"Azzy… I-" He tries to say more in his surprised state, but I can tell he's debating whether he's hallucinating, dreaming, or if this could actually be real.

"Shh.." I say gently, putting a finger over his lips, and sitting down on his lap. His arms fit comfortably around me, and I pull my arms around his neck, both holding on tight.

"I've missed you so much Azzy." He whispers to me, and I see tears welling up in his eyes. "I can't live like this."

"I've missed you too Sirius. I love you." I say, and lean in to kiss him. All those feelings, my stomach is in circles, my heart is beating faster than it ever has and a tidal wave of emotion washes through me. We both breath together, and he whispers back into my lips,

"I love you too." Our kisses get stronger, and our hearts go into overdrive. My hands are streaming through his hair, and suddenly I can't get enough of him. His hands are squeezing along the waistline of my dress, and I push him down onto his bed, kneeling over him. His hands move to the bottom of my skirt, and rub over my thighs. Our lips get more and more desperate, and all of a sudden I can't stop the tears streaming down my face.

Our movements get even stronger, and my fingers begin to rip open the buttons in his shirt, and eat his skin. His lips are rough, unlike they used to be, yet the edge pushes me even further, scratching against mine. I sigh from the desperation many times, and my tears come even faster, and though I don't want to, we slow down. Our kisses become more compassionate, and I feel love and emotion pouring out of him, his strong lips encircling mine. We end together, and I lift my face from his, eyes wet but closed, breaths steady yet hungry.

I open my eyes to see him, and almost cry harder at his beautiful face.

"I love you." I say quietly, and we pull up into the sitting position.

"How are you here… is this a dream? Please be real for me." He begs, holding onto me tight. I smile, and squeeze my arms tighter around him.

"Yes, it's a dream… of course it's a dream Sirius." I say, not lying for one bit of it. "But it's real too."

He looks at me with his loving eyes, and I find my hands moving to my neck. I take the ruby ring of the chain, and give it to him.

"I can't be with you… but promise me you'll always keep this. And… whenever you need me, I'll always be there. I'll always be there. Every night, every day you need me."

"What about if you need me?" He asks back, and I stare into his hazel eyes, unsure of what to say.

"I'm not important. And it wouldn't work because-"

"because?" He says, his eyes shaking.

"because I always need you. I love you. You have to continue your life. I won't let you ruin it. Not because of me. I love you. Never forget me though." I say, my voice slowly trailing into nothing. I feel the magic coursing through my veins, and he falls back down onto the bed, asleep once more. I delve into his mind, and make sure there's nothing that could prove I'm still alive. Except the ring.

"Never forget me." I whisper, before disapperating.

**Please Review! Constructive critism is always welcome! And again sorry it has taken so long, but I have been super busy with classes and some of my other stories. But I hope you enjoy it!**


	18. Chapter 18

After my little stunt, things got better. They all got through school, and Sirius had gone back to a slightly more sensible version of his old self. I often just watched them, passing the time. At first I thought I would be bored, as I was when I was younger in the forests. But… though I wasn't doing much at all, time passed faster around me. I would sleep for days on end, and wake up like no time had passed. I would read a book that would usually take me a few hours to read, but find myself getting hungry and eating 7 or 8 meals in between. Maybe it's some sort of magic that occurred when I died. Who knows. Is this what it's like being wise? Knowing all this… knowledge, without ever truly being able to understand it? Or maybe it's afterwards, after I have understood it.

Two years after James, Sirius, Remus, Pete and Lily leave school, is when it starts. Two years and three days after they leave on the Hogwarts express actually.

I'm sitting in my armchair in the cottage I have in an unplottable forest, where a stream runs nearby. I'm flicking through Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express, a thrilling mystery that awaits the mastermind of Hercule Poirot to solve. I must have read almost all her books by now, and they never cease to amaze me. But suddenly, as I turn the page…

_A cloaked man barks out orders to many others, all dressed in black, metallic masks hiding their faces._

"_The firsts to put a muggle in their rightful place will gain places in my inner circle. Fail me and your fate will soon be as those of the muggles… Betray me and it will be much worse. Go!" His voice is throaty and hoarse, but they have a commanding air to it. The cracks sound as the members disparate, and the vision clears._

My eyes flash open and I grab my wand from my hair, and my bun falls as I remove it. With a flick of my wand my clothes change into a black long-sleeved shirt and some black skinny jeans, and black boots cover my socks as I walk out of the cottage. I feel my black cloak fall onto my shoulders, and bring my hands up to do up the black fastenings. It's not as though I'm going to be seen, but I generally like to look presentable. Soft black lines my eyes and my skin glows flawless from all the hours of sleep. A charm keeps my lashes long and curled, and my eyebrows shaped and dense. My lips soft from constant application of blackberry lip balm.

A mere 10 steps after standing up, I leave the boundaries of my cottage and disparate. _Where? _An image of a broken bridge, a dark stream running treacherously fast underneath, by a small town appears in my mind and I'm there.

I watch from afar, and not long after I see a family, of a mother, father and two young sons, walking across the fields from the town. I can see from the usage of the path that many villagers must take walks into the fruit forest behind me, crossing the bridge. It stands there, old and broken yet sturdy, bits of wood splintering off the sides. As soon as I hear the first crack, I go invisible. A trick I must have picked up from the white city, which is what I seem to enjoy calling when I was dead. Three cracks after the first sound, and I look over to the other side of the bridge, where four figures in black stand. I can see that they don't even bother using any form of concealment.

The muggle family stop to look when they hear the sound, and frown in puzzlement. The followers take off their masks and take steps towards the family.

"Excuse me? Can I help you-" The father of the family starts to ask.

"Crucio!" A man I identify as Dolohov shouts, and the father of the father falls to the floor, his body writhing around. Another man, Mulciber I think, curses one of the boys into the air, and he floats there for many seconds before crunching back down, smashing into the ground.

"Avada Kedavra!" A voice I easily recognise yells, and the younger boy is killed. Severus Snape. My old friend. My eyes turn to the last man, and my jaw tightens. I use Legilimency to force into his mind, and see his thoughts. He is afraid, and horrified at the events in front of him. He isn't going to attack. I raise my wand quickly and _Impilus! _

"Sectumsempra!" The man jerks forward and his wand slashes across, and the last standing, mid-scream is slashes across her body thrice.

"Go Regulus!" Dolohov says smirking, and Regulus nods and I force him to smirk as well. Dolohov then destroys the bridge, breaking it off its hinges, washing the bodies downstream. Using my puppet, I levitate the remaining parts of the bridge, and using the blood of the woman already covering it, shape it into writing.

"Muggles beware. The Dark Lord spares no one." Mulciber reads the words out, cackling loudly, and I stop controlling Regulus. He shakes out of a glaze, and stays silent.

They begin talking and I disapperate back to my cottage, and grab the door for support. That kind of violence shakes me out of my shell. I shudder and step back inside, dropping my cloak and sitting back down. The attack lasted no more than 30 seconds. The man was under constant torture, before being washed downstream. The older boy cursed. He probably would have died from it unless a healer got to him within an hour. But of course the whole being dropped into a raging river diminished all hope of that. The younger boy, dead with a flash of green. The mother sliced open. Blood will stain the sunset, against their pale bodies flowing down the river until it met the sea.

"_Regulus is being praised. He will be thought of as loyal and tactical by Voldemort while secretly doubting everything he does. I have completed the task. What is it you next ask of me?" I enter the white city, and stand at the temple at the top of the cliff. As I look down I can see a city not unlike London before me. I can see the London Eye, the Houses of Parliament, the Thames, King's Cross station…_

"_You have successfully kept the future on course. You will not have to do anything for a while. Go and visit your Godfather, as he is to play a big part in the future." The voice comes down to me, and I open my eyes in the earthly realm._

I rest for many days, uncomfortable with my actions. Yes, everything I was doing had a reason, and my life was now devoted to the future. But forcing someone unwilling to use such dark magic… it does not bode with me well. I used a special form of the imperius curse, in which it cannot be fought, and the one being controlled is not aware of the charm. Even though my wand was not the one which cursed it, the blood is still on my hands.

But after a month, I remember my instructions from the white city, and wake up early in the morning. I dress in a smart black dress structured with seam detailing, long sleeves in a bodycon style. It goes down to a couple of inches above my knees, which seems suitable for my use. I put on some smart black mid-heels and fasten a dark emerald cloak round my shoulders, this time a soft emerald lining my eyes. I step out of my cottage and apparate to Hogsmead, deciding to enjoy my day while I'm at it.

I walk through the village, my cloak warming me in the early spring breeze, as strands of my hair are blown out of my face. It's not very different, from the times I've walked through it. But I can admit that this is the first time I have actually looked at the beauty of the little village, rather than chatting with the guys, laughing... having fun. I see the few people in the streets glancing at me warily, but I move fast and their glances cease. I get to the Hogsmead station and realise I never actually rode on the Hogwarts Express. James, Sirius, Remus and Pete always described it as quite relaxing, and something they always looked forward to.

The sign swings above me, and I see the edge of the Forbidden Forest in front of me. I walk a little into the woods, and it isn't long before I hear the flutter of wings. I whistle loudly, and only a few moments pass before a beautiful black winged Thestral comes into view. It lands not far from me, questioning me slightly, and I begin to walk towards it.

I nod my head to it, and it seems to accept me as I place a hand lightly on its neck.

"What do they call you then…?" I ask softly, stroking him. A strong voice flows through my head.

"_Haze. Haze is my name." _My eyes widen as I realise that I am conversing with him. It must be something I gained in the white city.

"Haze… that is a beautiful name." Haze snorts in gratitude and I smile.

"_You are a very powerful witch…" _Haze says and I nod. "_You have been places where not many return."_

"It was my duty to return. I have loved ones, in the past, and present who would wish for me to protect the future. So that is what I must do." I reply honestly.

"_You have been there… the white city as you call it. I must inform you that even though you returned, you cannot do as you please and save everything you know."_ Haze stands slightly taller, looking more noble than ever.

"I am aware. I know I must do as the future pleases." I tell him. "I am getting to understand it though. My paths have crossed with old friends, as it will be in the future as I have been assured. My personal thoughts and what I knew I had to do crossed, and compromises had to be made. I read a lot of novels, and I do now as well. My friends called me a bookworm, but I was too interested in the characters. I think only now am I really beginning to feel as if I am in a book. Yet, I know what actions must be made."

"Even if you must endanger the ones you have spoken of?" Haze asks, and I can see he's challenging me. What most people don't know about Thestrals is that they are very wise creatures. I look at Haze directly in his eyes.

"Of course. My life is over. I haven't been blessed with the opportunity to carry on my life, there wouldn't be much point. I mean I'd probably already be dead. I'm here to make sure the future will hold. It's what they would want." I tell him strongly. There are a few moments of silence, before Haze bows his head to me. I incline my head to him as well, and smile.

"Could you take me to the castle? I must speak with Albus Dumbledore, my godfather." I say calmly.

"_Anytime." _Haze says. I magic a saddle and attach it onto him, before mounting it. "_Hold on."_ As I hear his words I put my arms around his neck, as he gallops into a clearing before taking off. The air blows my hood down, and I ensure that I am invisible, otherwise those who have not seen death would be able to see me flying without a broom. It reminds me of flying on my broom, and I find the journey more relaxing, and easier than on a broom. Yet, nothing can compare to the exhilarating thrill of Quidditch.

The journey doesn't take long, and soon Haze has landed into a gallop not far from the Groundkeeper's hut.

"Thank you." I say to Haze, dismounting.

"_I will be waiting to take you back. How will you get around the castle? Disillusionment charm?"_ Haze answers.

"No, I have my own ways to get around without being seen." I finish, and transform into Claws, in snow leopard colours, before disappearing.

I take the quickest route to Albus' office, bending the staircases to my will leaving shouts from the students behind me. I reach the gargoyle and transform back, arranging my cloak that had gotten tangled through transformation.

"Acid Ants." I recite clearly, after asking for the password. It's a new one, though I've never really liked the sweet. An acquired taste I guess Albus would say. I walk up the stairs and knock thrice politely on the wooden door.

"Come in." I hear the familiar voice and step through.

As Albus turns around, he stops, expression frozen, gazing at me. I produce the smallest of smiles. A wave of emotion runs through me and I begin to feel guilty. Weeks, that's how long I went without speaking to him personally, before throwing myself of the Astronomy tower. And it's been years since I could have visited. Yes, the question has always resided in my head, but I have thought it too dangerous. Something tells me I might have been a little too humble.

"And I suppose you have an explanation for this?" The questions breaks the tension in the air, and I look up to him sheepishly.

"I do… though I admit it's not a very good one." I say honestly.

"Well, why don't I start with a question, though a large one at that. Why?" Albus' voice is steady, and strong, but I can see the sadness in his eyes.

"Someone knew about my abilities. They threatened to release the information into the outside world… the dark parts. Unless I did what they asked." I can feel my voice ready to crack, as my words come out slowly. But somehow, it stays confident, which must be another thing I learnt through the white city, as I am definitely not feeling it. I turn towards the window.

"The last couple or so months of my previous life, was all I managed to get through before I realised, that if that was how I was going to have to live my life, I didn't want to live it. And I didn't want to continue hurting those I care about in the process. But not even a single rumour about there being a new seer in the midst could be heard. I knew what I had to do. I saw it every night for almost 3 months, until I managed to brew a dreamless sleep potion. But then, one night, I took the potion, but I still saw it. The unavoidable future. So I jumped." I turn back to him and see my dear Godfather's eyes full of remorse and even a flicker of guilt.

"It was unavoidable Albus." I say, and he meets my gaze. "I had long enough to think through every other outcome… it was the best one by far." Albus sighs, before moving to sit behind his desk.

"Please, take a seat my dear, as I am sure whatever you have to say next will be far longer. For as you will have determined, the next curiosity of my mind is how are you here?" Albus' voice is sad, but there is a strong sense of wonder. I smile at the familiarity, and sit down opposite him in a cushioned royal blue chair, my legs crossed.

"Have you ever heard of the white city?" This time Albus' face frowns in amazement and I smile sheepishly, before telling my story. I leave out parts, as I know I am forbidden from ever telling any true living soul, but I tell him as much as I could any. I leave out my instructions, and the knowledge I was given. I leave out my meeting with Sirius, at the quidditch match, and the event with Regulus and the muggles on the bridge. I doubt my Godfather would have been proud if I did.

"… I know my purpose in returning isn't to fulfil my life, but to bring life to the future. And so it leads to my reason of visiting you here, for I am sure you have already encountered the evil I am sent forthwith to handle." I hold his gaze as I retell what I can, and he has the same expression Remus has on when making notes.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle." The three words leave his mouth, and I nod.

"You must never let him enter Hogwarts. His last visit was to enquire after the Defence against the Dark Arts teaching position, but you were right in thinking it was not his purpose in wanting to return hither." My voice turns serious, and my eyes harden. I grip my knee that my hand was once lightly covering.

"And if I was unable to fulfil this?" He asks, and I raise an eyebrow.

"I am in full confidence of your ability to keep this castle safe Albus, and trust me as I have never really liked rewriting history, and wouldn't risk doing so very lightly." I tell him and his eyes soften.

"Just what exactly were you sent back to do. How is yet another question residing in my mind." He murmurs, almost to himself.

"I was sent to make sure things that must happen, happen. How is something I could not explain even to myself, as the new power I have been given is beyond anything anyone could imagine, yet could be taken away without a thought." I murmur in response.

"My dear, I think you should value yourself higher than you do now. Through my youth I learnt power is not given, and cannot be taken either. It is earned. Not by hard work, determination, or want, but by the purity of one's soul." Albus goes into yet another one of his riddles, and I smile sadly.

"Perhaps, but unfortunately the current events of the world say otherwise." I mutter for him to hear. He is wrong. Power is given. But given to make the world play out as those who give it want it to.

"There is another task that I must entrust to you. A group to fight Lord Voldemort must be formed. An ensemble of strong, talented witches and wizards to fight against him. That will be within the ministry, yet work outside of it. As you will come to find out, preparation will be key in this upcoming war. I risk tearing through the boundaries of time by telling you anymore, and that could destroy the entirety of the universe beyond just our world. But I will give you as much assistance as possible."

I relay the words I had already chosen to him. The white city guides what I must do, but it doesn't help my job much. All it gives is the outcome of which I must achieve. I am glad to be given all the time in this world to think things through, as I am sure what must come to pass wouldn't if it were not so.

"And my question to your second favour is similar to my one to your first. And if I refuse?" I smile weakly at him, and shake mentally.

"I think you have guessed by now, that it is not a favour of which I ask you. I realised force would be a necessary ingredient to my doings from the very beginning, but when I started to find out what it actually involved it became crystal clear." I look him directly in the eye threateningly. "I may be able to give you a choice since you are close to me. I could change your will. I could change your memory. I could control your entire mind and being. Or I could even recreate you, with even the smallest of differences, that would just change this decision, or with every difference, destroying every inch of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore there ever was, so that you never would have existed in the first place."

I feel my will waver as I speak in such an unfriendly way to my own Godfather, no matter the amount of my life I hadn't spent with him, and change my approach.

"But I would have you know, I have no intention of doing so, and would not wish to perform such a deed on any."

"Dear oh dear Azalea. What have you got yourself into. A mere sentence would have done. I would never refuse anything from you, especially now. Is there anything else of which you ask of me?" Albus sighs as he speaks, placing his head lightly in his hands in slight despair.

"One, but it is small." I say, before grasping my wand tight in my hand, underneath my cloak. "Asphaltay!" I whip my wand out, twisting it sharply in the wand movement, and Albus is pushed back in his chair. My voice fills my mind and his as I know as well.

"No one can ever know of my existence. If any pester for too much information, you will refer to me as the time guider. My existence will only ever be in thought." I slip my wand away, and feel more than slightly guilty over using such a means of concealment on someone so close to me. My voice fades and slowly the focus returns to Albus' eyes once again.

"… I seemed to have wondered off, you were saying my dear?" He says puzzled, and I fake a smile.

"Nothing important. It has been a pleasure meeting with you, as always." I say quietly, and he beams.

"My door is always open to you my dear. Farewell for now" His words are warm, and full of love, and the seed of guilt in my heart blossoms under his gaze.

"Indeed. I look forward to my next seeing you." I bow my head politely and stand strongly, walking with my cloak floating behind me, closing the door as if I'd never been there.

**Please Review! Constructive critism is always welcome! I apologise to those who have been waiting for this update, but it took quite some time for me to figure out where I wanted to go with this story, but I think I've managed to get things on track. I hope you enjoy it!**


	19. Chapter 19

It would be a few months till Dumbledore would bring together the first members of the Order of the Phoenix, and before that came an event I know I shouldn't attend, but a magnet would always be dragging me there. At the Potter Manor, in their massive gardens, a wedding would be held.

I hold a beautiful dress up in front of me, in the darkest of scarlets, the long skirt disappearing into nothing. Its blacker than blood, but also duller. I felt the need to pick one in the colours of my old house… I'm not entirely sure why. The dress would be strapless if not for the small band of dull gold bending from where it lay around the waistline as a belt over one shoulder to join itself at the back of the belt. The classic chiffon material was already blowing in the gentle breeze through my cottage in nowhere. I put it on carefully, tugging slightly on the zip to do it up.

I had my hair cut a few days ago so it now hangs just under my breasts, rather than the former, almost to my hips. But for once, I pull it up into a messy bun, tendrils of my hair falling out to frame my face next to my fringe, which no longer covers my left eye, but bends round it to my jaw. I think I'm starting to like it that way though. Champagne covers my eyelids while my lashes are still long, and my eyebrows and lips still shape and colour the same. I'm not sure who I'm trying to impress, seeing as the people who see me won't be talking to me, and the people I see won't see me. I slip on a floor length loose black cardigan, along with some black heels, and walk out the cottage.

The always familiar crack sound as I walk towards the gates of the grounds, already buzzing with people. Muggles and wizards alike clutch their invitations, showing the man at the gate to get through. With a small wave of my fingers an invitation is in my hands, the cream card with neat black writing caressing my name. I walk up to the man unknown to me.

"Invitation?" He asks and I hand it to him. "Let me just check the list…" His bright eyes start scanning the list and as my fingers twitch-

"Azalea Zamora, right here. Sorry for the wait, with the situation-"

"I completely understand. Precautions must be made." I say for him, smiling as I walk through the gates.

The sun is shining and I walk towards the natural green gardens of the Potters. I look up to the house, that I never got to set foot in, I realise how rich James actually is. And he never let it on, of course. In the open grass a white marquee is set up, a white carpet running down the middle of white chairs with a raised platform at the front. Many are already seated and as I look to the front line of seats I make myself invisible.

There, handsome as ever. James, at the front fidgeting in his smart black dress robes, with a scarlet tie to match Pete's looking nervous, but happy. Remus, sporting a bowtie, shabby as always but looking brighter than ever. And there, smiling and joking next to James, obviously trying to ease his nervous state, in a muggle style tuxedo with scarlet tie, Sirius. My heart gave the usual soar as I saw them but I react better to it than the last few times. I swallow slightly but take a seat in the back row.

After what I assume as the usual wedding chatter going on around me, I make myself visible to those surrounding me, so no one tries to sit on me or something. And then, the classic wedding march starts, the music ringing everyone to a silence, and I see James stand at the front and follow with everyone else. As soon as I see her I smile. I may not have liked her very much when I met her, but when the situation regarding my abilities went dire, I saw how she was holding the marauders together. Her red hair escalating down her back, she's dressed in a simple yet elegant strapless white gown, looking radiant.

There are small but noticeable details on the dress, with a small light train and a netted veil. The dress made of silk could have been called bland, but on her just helps magnify her natural beauty. I sit as she reaches the front and the ceremony continues. They say their vows, and my heart is dancing happily. I'm not even listening to their words, their faces and emotions convey all I need.

"You may now kiss the bride!" James engulfs Lily into his arms planting his lips onto hers and I stand and clap, and my eyes water. People rush forward to congratulate the newly wedded couple, while I stay standing at the back.

I sit at one of the tables surrounding the traditional muggle dance-floor, as I did when James and Lily had their first dance as husband and wife. I watched happily, but couldn't help but feel sorrow. I could never have that feeling. You could just see it in their eyes, how much they loved each other. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, under the marquee, in the same place, but it's dark now, and all the younger attendants have gone to sleep. But a soft voice brings me out of my daze.

"Excuse me my dear, are you okay? You seem a little dazed!" I turn my head and see a woman in her fifties at a guess, with warm brown hair and a smart white and black silk dress.

"Oh yes, I'm alright, I must have wondered too far into my thoughts." I say. How is she seeing me? I could have sworn I made myself invisible… I guess it's the tired-ness. It has been long since I have stayed out so late. I may not do much, but all the new magic I have been trying out when I am doing things is extremely exhausting. But it will become easy with time.

"What's your name? Are you from Lily's side?" The woman enquires and I nod, my lie already forming in my head as it always does.

"Yes, my name's Clare Azalea, I'm an old friend of Lily's. We knew each other when we were growing up." I say, using my mother's name.

"Ah…" The woman says, but she looks slightly flustered. "I myself am the mother of the groom, so um…"

"Oh, I'm a witch." I say quickly, and her eyes widen.

"But…"

"Yeah, muggleborn. But my family moved to France in my third year, and I attended Beaubuxtons. I'm a year younger than Lily and James. I didn't know him very well though." I explain, apologising for my not being clear.

"Ah, that makes sense. My name is Dorea if you didn't know. What house were you in at Hogwarts?" She asks, and I'm intrigued to meet James' mother.

"I was Ravenclaw. You must be so proud of your son." I tell her, and she nods.

"Yes I am. I never believed it would happen; she had turned him down on so many occasions. I assume you heard of…" She tells me happily.

"Yes, I have to say it's rather amusing but joyful that they've ended up together." I reply.

"Indeed. I thought it would wear off but James kept on mentioning her in his letters. There was only ever one other girl he talked about for a few months in his fifth year… but unfortunately that turned slightly sour, but here he is now again with her. And to be honest, I believe he has only ever been platonic with other girls, only Lily."

My heart stops slightly as I hear some of her words. He told his parents about me? James…

"Definitely. Only ever true to her. I'm glad she found someone like him. I mean, when she wrote to me about him I got the feeling there was something more than just annoyance towards his consistency in asking her out. And in these times… I'm glad." I tell her, and she smiles sadly.

"The only thing I could hope for now is my other one." She says sadly. I turn my head in puzzlement.

"Other one? James has a sibling?"

"Oh, sorry. I meant Sirius. He's like a son to me all the same. With his family connections and all. They've been best friends since they met." Dorea says, and I tense before I know it.

"He's had some hard times…and I'm proud to know that he still got through it. He doesn't talk about it much, but I know his family and the past plagues him. He doesn't talk to anyone about any of it. Not even James." Dorea says, and my breathing becomes slightly ragged.

"He sounds like a strong person. A true Gryffindor as well." I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Yes, well we should be celebrating this happy occasion. Forgive me if I drowned your happy spirit." Dorea replies.

"No worries. But I'm sure you have more family to greet, so I'll leave you to it. I should get going." I say to her, standing to leave. She stands and smiles at me, but her eyes are drawn away and I turn.

"…Mum! Finally I've found you. James wanted to dance…" His voice trails off as he sees me, and my heart sinks as I know I'll have to erase myself from his mind once more.

"Of course he does, he's over by the buffet of course. Sirius, this is Clare Azalea, she used to go to Hogwarts as a Ravenclaw. She's an old friend of Lily's, why don't you make her feel comfortable instead of spending all your time with Remus and Peter. There you go…" Dorea pushes Sirius towards me lightly, as she notices his staring at me, and walks off to find James presumably.

We stand there, in silence; his face is obviously in deep thought and confusion. I wonder what's going through his head right now. Dorea said he refused to talk about much with anyone, so it's surprising me how he isn't screaming his head off right now.

"Um… would you like to accompany me into the rose garden? It's on the other side of the house and you probably haven't seen it. Yet so…" His voice comes out nervous, and I'm unsure of what to think of the unusual display of his mental state.

"Of course." I say politely. "I'd love to."

We walk in the same silence round the house to the rose garden, where I smile at the pretty sight. Even in the night time I can see the different shades of red pink and white, and I can easily say it's beautiful.

"So… Clare." He says and we turn to look at each other. "Are you… um…" I take a step closer to him, and cup his cheek.

"I'm not here Sirius." I say sadly, tearing up slightly at my lying to him.

"… I know." He replies, with the same down-hearted feeling as I had. "But I can touch you. I can feel you. I can hear you. I can smell you. I can see you."

"I'm real Sirius. I'm just not here. I'm real." I say. He puts our foreheads together and we both start to hear the new slow-beat song starting on the other side of the house. He puts his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, and I put my arms around his neck.

"I miss you Az." Sirius whispers. "You died and I know that, but somehow you're here with me, real."

"I'll always miss you Sirius. Never question that." I whisper back. He sighs.

"Throughout today… I've been happy. Happy for James, and Lily. But everything they do together… it just reminds me that I won't be able to do it with you."

"I know Sirius, but you need to stay strong for them. You need to stay strong for me." I say back, feeling the same pain in my heart. I touch the ruby ring still dangling around his neck and smile at it, pressing my lips gently to it, and pulling my topaz ring also dangling from my neck, touching them together.

"I'm always here." As we sway lightly to the light beat of the music, he lowers his lips to mine softly and I kiss back.

Our last kiss was desperate, and hungry, and full of need. His tongue gently presses through my lips, and I see how this one is so different. Sad, soft, but full of love. I want to just curl up in his arms and just stay there forever, letting the world around us disintegrate around us, but as the song ends, I pull away, letting my hands fall into his.

"Goodnight Sirius, I'll always be watching." I say gently, before tugging my hand out of his unwillingly and turning to leave. I walk further into the rose garden before whistling softly into the night air. Not long after I hear the strong flap of wings and turn to the eyes still boring into my back.

"Goodbye." He says.

"I'll see you soon." I say, as Haze lands in a flurry avoiding the delicate roses and I slide gracefully onto his back and he takes of once more.

I get back to the cottage with Haze and dismount.

"You may stay here for the night if you wish. I know it is tiring to fly here." I say to him, and he bows his head, slowly lowering himself to the soft grass in my land of nowhere. I walk into the cottage and remove my shoes, falling into a deep slumber on my bed.

A bright light falling on my eyes awakes me and I sit up on my bed. With a flick of my hand my dress still on me is changed to the comfort of black jeans and a green sweater, before walking outside to see Haze trotting around on the clean grass. Upon seeing me he draws nearer, and I pat his head.

"Thank you for returning me here. I had not the strength left in me to get through the barriers I put up." I say to him.

"_Of course. It appears to me you left more behind than you let on in our first meetings." _He replies, and I give him a wry smile.

"You know how it is." I say lightly.

"_I do. This is why I ask you to look to what the man you left last night is doing right now." _ Haze's voice rumbles, and I look at him sharply. I speak wordless words, and I see the images before me.

_In the Potter household, James and Lily were packing for their honeymoon, which they were leaving for in 3 days, while groomsmen of Remus and Pete lounged on a sofa chatting animatedly; Mr and Mrs Potter bustled around them, Sirius looking downcast on yet another sofa._

"_Lily! Have you seen my watch?" James shouts up the stairs, starting to move towards the sofa._

"_Yes, I have it here." She replies, coming towards him._

_ "Sirius, what do you plan on doing while James and Lily are away?" Charlus Potter asks._

"_Hm?" Sirius looks up from his thoughts, and the others see the slightly lost look on his face, and share a glance._

"_What will you do while James is away dear? Will you be seeing anymore of Clare?" Dorea asks unknowingly. Sirius' head snaps up suddenly._

"_What?" His voice comes out harsh, and abrupt. When he sees his step-mother's face his face softens. "Sorry mum…" He mumbles._

_ "Padfoot… you alright?" James asks, slowly stepping towards him. The room quietens as Sirius face is hidden by his hair._

"…_um… no." He replies. Pete and Remus start to usher Lily and the Potter's except James out when they hear his next words. "I keep… I keep on seeing her."_

"_What do you mean Padfoot? Where do you see Az?" James asks carefully, immediately knowing whom Sirius spoke of._

"_In my head. In my sleep. That night after the quidditch match in the hospital wing. And last night." Sirius mumbles._

_ James sits down next to him on the sofa, his forehead creased with worry. Sirius hadn't been like this for a long time. The only time he was like this was on the anniversary of her death, but that could be expected._

"_She was there… in a scarlet dress. She had cut her hair. I walked her to the rose garden, and we kissed."_

"_She wasn't there Padfoot, you know she wasn't." James says and Sirius starts fumbling around in his pockets. He takes out a long piece of parchment, and pointed at the end of the list of names._

_ "Azalea Zamora." James says in awe. "This is the register list."_

_Sirius nods. "She went by her mother's name Clare through the wedding. But at the end of the night, she was gone."_

"…_Sirius…" James tried to find some words to say._

"_Don't worry James, I know she's gone. She rode away on a Thestral." Sirius tells, him, taking a deep breath as he looks up. "Go have fun being married Prongs, she would never forgive you for thinking of her and me. I'm fine. I think I'll go for a ride while you're away. Maybe tie up some old strings." Sirius stands from the sofa, dusting of his tux, still clutching the wedding register._

"_But I think I'll go change first." He says, going up the stairs…_

The images fade and I look to Haze.

"I told you my life didn't belong to me anymore. But snippets… just moments… the only pull I feel now that I have to have with them is that they remember me. That is all. Perhaps I went over the line by leaving my real name, but I don't care. The white city can deal with a few small memories." I say, walking back into the house, ready to find a good book to take my thoughts away.

Over the next months, the Order of the Phoenix was formed. They helped protect muggles, tried to find out what Lord Voldemort wanted to do next. Of course, when an event needed to be avoided, I gave a little tip to them and they stopped it from happening. I was their unknown source. I was using them I guess, but then I'm being used by the white city. Muggles were taken, families killed, wizards went into hiding but they were always found. Times were dire, and the wizarding world was in chaos. But through that the Wizarding and Witchcraft school remained open, and on one gloomy night in the Hogs Head I made sure Dumbledore would interview a potential Divination teacher, granddaughter of a famous seer.

I foresaw her tell of a prophecy, after the interview, and I needed to make sure a certain someone would be there, listening for dark powers. I walk cloaked and invisible to a deserted street, where opposite me I see a figure clad in black, noticeable by his irritatingly large nose. I flick my wand out from inside the sleeve of my coat under my cloak, and say clearly.

"Impilus." The figure stops mid-step, and I control his mind. _Go to the Hogs Head for a drink… go to the Hogs Head… _The figure starts walking again, and disparates away with me at the end of the street. He walks in front of me, pushing open the door of the fairly busy tavern on a night like this.

Filled with ruffians of every kind, Severus Snape steps in, and orders a fire whisky from the barman. After a few minutes I force him to look up the wonky stairs with curiosity, and he walks up them to a room with the door slightly ajar.

"…_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…" _A low, dark, grainy voice almost growls out._ "… Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"_

"Hey! You, get down from there!" Right on time, Aberforth the barman takes Snape by the collar and stares down at him menacingly. "You better not be eavesdropping...!"

I release my hold on Snape, and leave the inn, the rest of the prophecy echoing in my head, but unheard by Snape.

"…_and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives… the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"_

The repeat over and over again in my head until I'm dizzy and then they start to fade. The white city didn't tell me of this. They may have shown me it, but I didn't realise it fully. I didn't realise, that at the centre of it all, my best friend's son would be the one to kill Lord Voldemort, and probably be killed in the process.

**Please Review! Constructive critism is always welcome! I'm extremely sorry for the wait it must be almost a month, but my whole computer got wiped including all my files and there was a load of irritating setbacks but I've finally managed to get this chapter up. It's got quite a lot of romance in it, but the next chapter won't have as much so it evens out. This isn't much of a cliffy since everyone whose either read or watched Harry Potter already knew about the prophecy, but oh well.**


	20. Chapter 20

It has been long since the prophecy had been revealed, three weeks, and I wait in my cottage, seeing Albus working round the clock from my own room. I show myself glimpses of James and pregnant Lily at points, but I've tried to avoid it at all costs. It just makes my heart stretch further, pounding for my old friendships. I've sat in my creased purple armchair, reading, but not really reading, my mind elsewhere. The armchair was once vibrant purple, stiff, and flawless. Now dull, squishy, and used from my sittings of days.

Today I lie napping in that armchair, my mind drifting through dimensions, until suddenly-

"_You are needed in the attic of the Hog's Head_..." The White voice echoes for my head and my eyes snap open, and I jump out of my chair. My wrist clicks as it turns, and out of my wardrobe flies a simple mid-grey maxi skirt and a dull light blue loose crop top. I strip off my six day old black track suits and my massive oversized grey t-shirt, putting the clothes on so a thin band of skin could be seen if I stretched. I have light pencil eyeliner and mascara on with the flow of my wrist and my lips are moist with strawberry. The grease of my hair is gone and my hair plaits itself down my shoulder as my summer grey-blue cloak flies towards me. The cloak fastens itself around me as I bend to tie the laces of the grey gladiator sandals, and I apparate away with a crack as my foot crosses the threshold of the cottage.

My skirt and cloak sway in the light, early summer breeze as people wash past, my invisibility now an easy tireless routine for me. The heavy sign of the Hogs Head sways as I step in, taking in the almost empty tavern. A bunch of nobodies drink quietly, and I walk up behind the bar, past Aberforth Dumbledore, and into the room behind. Pacing like he does in his study lays Albus Dumbledore.

I make myself seen and Albus looks up and smiles in greeting to me.

"Come Albus, there is no need for a pretense of relaxation in times as such. I come to help." I say to him.

"I am glad, my young goddaughter, as I am stumped. I could never have foreseen the betrayal of Severus Snape, though I'm sure you saw his changing sides as it were." Albus says, sitting down in a wooden chair nearby. I smile wryly.

"His love for Lily Potter is an unusual one, and something I did not know of in my previous life, but it is one we must be grateful of." I say.

"Grateful of? He relayed the prophecy to Voldemort, how is that a deed of goodness?" Albus says in confusion.

"I'm sorry Albus, I'm leaving things out. Voldemort would have known of the prophecy even if Snape had not overheard. We should be grateful Snape loved Lily enough to come with the information of that to you. Otherwise the protection of the Potters would be weak." I tell him, and he looks up to me.

"And what must we do to make it strong? Voldemort knows how to break every defensive spells and wards I know." Albus admits. "Even if he didn't know how, he would find a way."

"We must protect them. But I think you have realized it is not protection from force that they need, for in that aspect they are hopeless." I say, and we lock eyes. "You know the charm I speak of. There are many in which they could trust their whereabouts. It is their choice on who to trust."

Albus nods at me, and I think through my thoughts. I already know who they must choose.

"It will not surprise me if they do not tell anyone of who they choose. The friendship they share with many is there strength." I say.

"This is what they must do? Hide? It is the only option, yet I cannot help wonder what will happen? If the child is the solution to this war, how can he fight it? He is just a boy." Albus says solemnly.

"That I cannot tell you, not just because you knowing it would be a danger to time, but because I have not wished it upon myself to see it." I say, before turning on the crazy wooden floorboards to the door.

"I will not be seeing you for a while, Albus. I wish you the best hope in these dark times." And with that, I disappear to the eye and stalk through the door, apparating away at the first chance.

I watch the plans taking place, watch as what I already know forms, making slight adjustments as I go. For instance, making sure Pete became the secret keeper of the Potters. I'm not sure how I did it. I meddled with Lily's decision. I forced my feelings and memories out of my magic, but I still couldn't bring myself to change the minds of the marauders.

And then I wait. Just as before, I wait. And then, one day, I hear a cry in my sleep. A baby. I haven't kept track of the days or dates as my sleep has washed by me, but I know what day it is. I hear the cry of a little hoy, and smile as the scene of Lily cradling the little boy, James next to her, Sirius a little behind... I chuckle slightly as James shushes the little baby, willing him to stop crying, looking down at him with such love. I let the sight fade away in my mind. At least the light lingers.

After that, the days blur together. A year passed, of me dropping hints to Albus about upcoming attacks, saving those who had to be saved, leaving those who had to die. However I stayed away from it all, alone in my cottage, out of all the destruction outside. Nothing seemed to matter too much to me. I felt like a tool, no emotion, no soul. I didn't feel anything for anything I did, it was all just a job to be done. Until now.

_"You are needed at Peter Pettigrew's safe house."_ The familiar voice no longer shocks me, but the instruction does. " You know now what you must do." At the scene's shown inside my head, a shiver runs down my spine. I never expected to have to do this. Never in a million lifetimes, yet alone two. I blink a few times and get up from my seat, and flick my wand to get dressed into an all-black ensemble of a blouse and jeans. My cloak fastens and I leave.

I'm in a quiet wood, one that seems familiar to me. The way the leaves fall in this autumn, the colour and towering height of the trees. The quiet rustling in the background. And then my eyes fall upon the cottage before me, sturdy yet well-used, and realization falls upon me. This was my home for 15 years. This was my mother's cottage. I make the connections and find it not unlike where I reside now, and hear the river streaming and the birds tweeting. I guess I'm more like my mother than I thought.

I hear fluttering footsteps from the cottage and it takes a few moments for me to comprehend. Dumbledore gave this as a safe house to Pete. I take slow steps towards the door, and push it open lightly. I recognize the interior, but it is obvious another resides here now. The once clean and tidy kitchen is littered with pots and pans unclean, and as I walk further into the lounge, I see personal belongings littered in the same manner. Clothes, books, quills... And pictures. I see one of two adults I assume to be his parents, and then some of his other relatives at a guess. But then, next to them, bigger than all, is a picture of 5 teenagers, smiling and laughing together. A boy with shaggy brown hair and round glasses, another with lighter brown hair tall and lanky, a shorter with a small grin on his face, a boy with long black hair and a wicked smirk, and a girl with long dark hair and a lazy laugh on her lips.

I remember it... We took it the day after Rem transformed and we had all gone running wild through the school grounds. I had been the happiest being in the world, right there and then. Such a long time ago.

Suddenly I hear the crack of a plate in another room, and turn to the doorway. Standing in the other room, barely visible, the whites of his eyes flashing through the doorway to lie on me, was Peter Pettigrew.

"…I must be dreaming…" I hear the faint words leave his mouth, and smile gently towards him.

"No Pete. This is no dream." I reply, and he walks cautiously towards me, into the light. His hair was always shaggy, so that doesn't come as a surprise for me. His eyes are tired, and his back slightly hunched, as one's would be during a war. But what I didn't expect, was his skin. It was glowing, with the same warm shine that it always had when we were younger. Whenever I see people nowadays, they blur together, grey in the background. I never could have thought I was to see such a light in such a time.

"We should sit down. There is a lot to talk about." I say softly, and we walk together to the nearby armchairs.

"So… what… how are you here?" Pete asks tentatively.

"I'm not entirely sure how to answer that. All I can explain to any is that I was given a second chance. I woke, alive and well around a week after I died. I've been… guarding would be the best word for it." I say truthfully.

"Guarding what?" Pete asks, confused.

"The Future." I say simply, and he frowns.

"The future? You've been alive all this time, while we have been grief-ridden to death, while you've been guarding the future? Azzy, Sirius nearly died. I'm not sure how he's still in one piece after what happened!" Pete rants at me, and I feel not just anger in his words, not the rage he wants me to feel, but the hurt.

"None of my actions were right. Not for us." I answer. "None. There is no apology that can make them right." We stare at each other, one waiting for the silence to break, as the other chose whether to believe or not to.

"When I say this, I'm not trying to make what I've done look any better, I merely wish you to know the truth. I did see him. I saw him when he got hit by that bludger. I went to the game, he saw me, and he got hit. I visited him in the hospital wing at night. He remembers it as a dream though. And I watched all of you at school, willing you on through exams and things I never had to do."

"And I saw you too." He looks up, startled, and I see his mind trying to figure out what I meant. "I felt I had a need to go. James stood there in his robes, along with you, Remus, and Sirius. And Lily, with her gown of white. In the morning, when he was in that daze…it was because I was actually there. He wasn't hallucinating."

"He said you rode away on a Thestral, doesn't that symbolize you being dead or something, I never gave shit about divination." Pete says, a little rattled.

"It was my way out of there. The thestral's a friend of mine." I relay. "But it did make my need to erase it from his memory unwanted."

"And… and why are you here now, why are you telling me this? When you were guarding the future, what did you do?" Pete asks.

"I can't tell you that Pete. Knowing I changed anything, even without the specifics make you in danger." I say calmly. "But it is why I am here now."

He pauses in his pacing's that he had started not long ago, and sat down.

"Do you need help? Az, despite everything, I will help you in any way I can." He says immediately, and I smile at his loyalty.

"You're too good. Everyone takes your kindness for granted Pete." I whisper. "But I don't think you're going to like it. You're not going to like it at all. In fact, there is but a slim chance you won't kill me for suggesting it after all this."

"We won't know until you tell me." Pete says, and I look back at him.

"You are the Secret Keeper of the new-born Potter family. Sirius is who everyone thinks it is, but you took it at the last moment, you risked your life without a flicker of doubt. Not even Remus knows." I say, and he nods.

"But word has gotten out. Word has gotten out, even I cannot see why. Word has gotten out that you are the secret keeper. They will come for you, no matter where you go, as this is Lord Voldemort's only objective. He fears everything and nothing. That is the only certain future. They will find you."

"Then if they find me, I will not give in. I will honor my word to James, Lily, Harry, and Sirius. This is what you ask of me?" Pete says to me. The dark pit in my heart becomes blacker. "I would do this, no matter what the circumstances. It is another certain future."

I shake my head. "You shall not." And Pete looks at me in awe. "If you die, and the Potters stay safe, the process will be repeated several times and many will die. The boy will never live to face Voldemort, he will be protected his whole life, and will never come into contact with Voldemort. The war will be endless."

Pete's frown stands stoic, and his face turns dark. "I don't understand. We are supposed to be protecting the boy. So one day he can defeat Voldemort. What are you trying to say?"

"Pete, James and Lily's love for their son will never die out, and their love will grow as the danger grows. They will never let the boy go out to face Lord Voldemort. They must be found." I say, my voice somehow coming out strong.

"No." Pete says, suddenly angry, though for good reason. "No! You want me to rat them out?"

"Pun intended?" I ask, amused slightly. "And yes. You have to. The boy will live Pete; the prophecy has said that one day one will destroy the other. Our power over Lord Voldemort has been obvious from the start; it is the old magic that only he does not bare. Yet, the power of love goes two ways. If our love grows too strong it will blind us from what must be done. I know this well enough."

"I don't care. I can't believe that one, you're even alive, two, the universe needs me to doom James, Lily, and Harry or three, you're even telling me to do this! How can you ask me to give Voldemort the psychopath murderer the keys to your best friend?! The one who grieved you for years, and still is?! Every year we go to your grave Azzy, every year! We drink away our memories and Remus and I haul Sirius up the stairs into his room as he cries and cries into James' shoulder, and we all cry with him!" Pete rants out to me.

"I know Pete. I know." I say softly, and I feel his gaze on me as I look away, pain shooting through me. "You ask me how I can think of killing my best friend, and how I can come back to life without freeing you of grief… it is because my life is not my own. The part of me doing anything now is not me, merely a puppet of the future."

"So, if you don't do this, they'll kill you again? Azzy, I wouldn't want to live if they asked me to-"

"I am not afraid of death Pete. How do you think I dropped myself of the astronomy tower? I have been burdened with the gift of foresight, and I must use this to find the best possible outcome. This is by far the only one I can see." I say, standing up. "I need you to do this."

"No." He says immediately. "Never. I'm a Gryffindor, and I don't give up my friends." He says, and I sigh, smiling.

"How I've missed the company of my own house." I murmur, silently crying in my heart.

"What do you me-"

"Impilus!" I whip my wand out and hold it straight to his forehead. "_Lord Voldemort along with a few of his Death Eaters will find you in a few hours' time. They will threaten you with torture and death unless you give them the whereabouts of James, Lily and Harry Potter. You will whimper with fear in their wake and stutter in your defense. And then, you will give them the information."_

_ Please._

I hear the one word of his fight, and I don't register any surprise that he managed to fight the enchantment, I just feel the fear and the pain well up inside me as tears form in my eyes as I control my friend. My friend. My eyelids flutter close.

"_You will become a servant of Lord Voldemort, and will help him in any way he pleases." _I finish of the incantation and lower my wand.

"Asphaltay." I whisper, and erase myself from his memory, stepping back into the shadows of the room, pulling the hood of my cloak over my head before disapperating out of the cottage. I watch as he blinks warily, scratches his head, then shakes his head, his shaggy hair falling over his eyes as he busies himself around his cottage.

A lone tear falls down my cheek, then drops heavily to the forest floor, as my younger self is screaming at me for what I have done. I have doomed all my friends. And I have sentenced my best friend to death.

"Bombarda!" A loud voice shouts as I blink rapidly from the shade, as the door of the cottage is blasted open, and three men in cloaks and masks attack the cottage, a cold man with pale skin covered by an everlasting cloak following.

"I know it is you Wormtail…" The black snakey voice crawls into my head as I hear his words. "I know you are the Potter's secret keeper. Now tell me where they are!"

"W-w-what do you mean, my lord? I know nothing!" Pete's voice stutters out, and I feel a stab of pain through my heart.

"Tell me or I will kill you… tell me now!" His voice breaks through the forest, and the menacing tone doesn't leave my mind.

"Crucio!" I hear the word leave Tom Riddle's mouth, and the scream that follows.

"Okay, okay! I'll t-tell you, just please, stop!" The strangled cry comes out, and I turn to leave.

"It's Dumbledore's old house, it's in G-godric's hollow it's-"

As I apparate back to my cottage they are storm clouds brewing above, and I walk past a dozing Haze into the cottage, weight on my shoulders not leaving me even as I flop onto the bed. I barely bother to take my cloak off, before I crawl underneath the covers and curl up, the pain of the day infecting me inside.

_Please_

The voice echoes through my head and tears come lightly, as I think of what will come next.

**Please Review! Constructive critism is always welcome!**


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